Realizing I'm No Spring Chicken
Today I was watching the video for "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure on YouTube - and I realized that the song came out in 1987.My eight year-old commented, "Wow, that's like 22 years ago. Wow, those guys must be old now."
Um yeah. They are. And it made me feel old. Like, really old.
A few hours later I looked at a picture of myself taken a week or so ago and realized there were wrinkles on my face that weren't there last year. Is it stress? The natural effects of aging?
I am vain. Too vain. And I live in the beating heart of vanity. No, I'm not above it and I'm not immune. There is no such thing as aging gracefully in Los Angeles. I'm not even sure what 37 is supposed to look like anymore.
I refuse to be one of those women who's desperately trying to hold on to an era of their lives that has been long gone for years. I'm not trying to pretend I'm 29. I want to be myself, the best of myself, whatever that may be. But how can I truly know what that is when our view of what our best should be is so warped, so skewed?
Comments
And whatever your age, you're certainly looking pretty good in that pic!
It's so strange how when you're young you think you know it all, and then as you get older, you gain the experience and insight to realize you don't know jack.
Here in LA, if you're over 30, you're considered old. It's just weird to see your face change. I don't know if I like it.
Ms. Wooden Shoes,
Thanks! That was a fairly decent hair day when I took those pics. 1984 was a GREAT year for music. MJ, Madonna, Prince... so many greats just banging out the hits that year.
I realized while I was trying to explain to my son how bands like The Cure influence bands he likes now like My Chemical Romance & AFI that I've turned into my mom explaining the Rolling Stones or Joan Baez. Whew.
It's easy to get sucked into the superficial in this town, but the bottom line is, as long as you're healthy and happy, that's all the matters.
And FYI: You look damn good. I wouldn't worry about it!
I am 41 and right now my main "aging" issue is white hair. My hair won't go gray, no: it turns white. I think it'll look really cool when it's all white, but I'm not prepared to go all white until I'm at least 50 (totally arbitrary, I admit). So I'm faced with dyeing my hair for at least the next 9 years or so. I'm not ready to accept my age yet!
The main thing is you're incredibly healthy, fit, challenging yourself and you look gorgeous. LA is a very skewed place indeed.
*breathes into paper bag*
I'M getting old(er).
but looky here: there IS such a thing as "aging gracefully" in LA, sis. i think it's just harder for non-native-Angelinos to NOT get caught up in the hype. Los Angeles, for me, doesn't glitter. it's just like east bumblefuck, USA (except with better weather!) LOL.
you're fine. and BEAUTIFUL! don't stress it.
Thanks for saying so. I know you understand how it is since you live here. It is VERY easy to get sucked into the superficial. I try not to go west of Fairfax for that very reason but sometimes it's necessary and I have to go swim with the knifed-up sharks.
Jameil,
People my age are supposed to be retreated to the Valley or the suburbs south or east of the city. And here I am still living in Hipstervania with all the young'uns!
Lisa,
I know. Totally boring! ;)
I'm starting to get a whole bunch of gray in the front -- ok, like 20 of them, and it's a pain. I've been using henna b/c I don't want to use chemical hair dyes, but it doesn't match my natural color. (And lately I'm going through a phase where I'm not feeling too fabulous. It's probably just stress.)
Jen,
LA is sooo skewed. It makes you so aware of it all. I don't know if I'll live here till I'm in my 50s. Gosh, that seems like a long way away for me, but, gulp, that's only 13 years!
Prisoner's Wife,
Uh huh, 22 years ago. Hard to believe it but it's true.
I do think it's possible to age gracefully here, especially if you stay away from the Westside. There's so many neighborhoods here that you don't have to go over there ever if you don't want. Unfortunately, I've been over there a LOT lately. A couple days in Beverly Hills can leave you feeling like you look awful.