Bobby Brown Saves the Show!

All weekend I meant to post about last Friday's concert and I never got around to it. Let's just say that the weather hitting 90 degrees on both Saturday and Sunday seriously inhibited my ability to type more than five words at a time. I even got a sunburn!

So before I once again boil away in the heat that is March in Southern California, let me tell you about the show.

The Prelude: Do you have the tickets?
The show was at the new Nokia Theater in Downtown LA. I don't know whose bright idea it was to build a concert venue right across from the Staples Center (home of the Lakers and the Clippers) because when something is happening at Staples, the traffic is a nightmare! But we braved it all, paid $25 for parking and were actually half an hour early for the concert. On the walk from the car I said to my husband, "Do you have the tickets?"

He seriously looked at me like I'd grown two heads and he wanted to chop one of them off. "No. I thought you had them. You always bring the tickets!"

So, I flirted/begged the parking guys for the $25 back and headed home! The whole ride home SOMEBODY was being such a whiner. "We're going to miss the beginning of the show! What if I don't get to see Guy?" Oh my goodness, I wanted to smack him! But thankfully, it only took about eight minutes to get home (yes, I was speeding on the 101) and we were back downtown and parked by 8:00, which made the, "I'm not gonna see Teddy Riley," crybaby chill out.

Act 1: After 7
Now I know how my parents felt when they'd go to see the Temptations and then come home and talk about how there was only one original Temptation left. Um, who were these dudes? I think only one of the original group members is left. All in all, they were pretty boring. They did stuff like tell us to snap our fingers like "grown folks". I'm sorry, but when I go to a show, I don't want to sit on my rear, snapping my fingers and act like I'm getting ready for a nap. I was pretty through when the lead guy started serenading these much older ladies in the front row and they in turn started trying to hump on him. Just Eww! When you get to a certain age, you really should know better!

Act 2: Al B. Sure
So Al B. Sure comes out on stage dressed in suit and a fedora. I get all excited because I'm thinking I'm going to hear him sing "Nite and Day" or something else awesome. But noooo, he's just the Master of Ceremonies because he works for Hot 92 Jamz nowadays. How did I miss that small detail? Hmm... I was so annoyed. But he had a lot of jokes about how he 1) is chunky because he's 40 years old and 2) can actually sing now. He definitely told the truth about both of those things. But he swears he's going to Jenny Craig with Queen Latifah and he's going to slim back down by the time he releases his next record this fall. (just kidding about the Jenny Craig part, I think).

So he gets us all hyped up for Tony! Toni! Tone! and I'm going nuts at this point as the guys start to come out on stage...

Act 3: The Fake Raphael Saadiq
I remember there were some issues between the three guys in Tony! Toni! Tone! back in the day and they broke up. It's especially a shame since Dwayne and Raphael are brothers, but I guess I was under the impression that they'd patched things up and gotten back together.

I was WRONG! So for the second time that night, I got that feeling like I was watching the 8th version of the Tempations. The thing that really made me mad though was that there was an effort to trick the audience into believing Raphael Saadiq was on stage. Why else would they have a guy wearing a newspaper boy cap just like Raphael used to? I was all, "Why's Raphael hiding back in the corner with that ugly purple shirt on? And why does his voice sound so weird?"

And then Fake Raphael's master, Dwanye, let him step from behind the keyboard so he could BUTCHER "Anniversary"! This kid takes off the cap, reveals that he's not Raphael, and all the energy got sucked out of the place. Everyone who was on their feet, including yours truly, sat down! I mean, why not come clean and say, "Introducing Blah Blah, the newest member of the group!" Don't try to hoodwink an LA crowd with your fake Raphael Saadiq! Trust me, the crowd will (and did) turn on you! The drunk folks behind me were all, "Unless Raphael's in the corner smokin' crack, they better get his ass out here on the stage!" I was totally feeling them. If I could've thrown rocks, I would've.

But Raphael, wherever he is (still producing Joss Stone?), got his revenge when Dwayne tried to get freaky with a member of the audience whose weave was so long that it got caught in the strings of his guitar! Hah!

Act 4: Johnny Gill
I was SO mad about the fake Raphael that I found myself wondering if they could make a fake Johnny Gill too. But no, he was there. He's another one that needs a little bit of that Kanye Workout Plan. Either that, or just stop wearing clothing that are so tight! I mean, I thought he was gonna bust out of his champagne colored suit! Oh, and the drunk folks were all yelling, "Johnny, where's ya man, Eddie?" and, "Tracey Edmonds hates you!" But whatever, he was alright. He did a nice Gerald Levert tribute and a nice version of "My, My, My".

THEN, Johnny's all, "Hey I got some special friends here!" Shocker of all shockers, Bobby Brown jumped out on stage with fellow New Edition member Ricky Bell!!!

The potentially craptastic nature of the whole night got saved right in that moment! It would be an understatement to say that the place went BANANAS! I mean, Bobby rocked "My Prerogative" like his life depended on it. Thank goodness he left the shirt on this time, unlike the last time I saw him.

Just when we all thought it couldn't get any better...the guys did "Poison"! Yeah, it was fabulous. I think Johnny Gill has to have a pretty low-key ego because he didn't wig out that the crowd got more excited about Bobby Brown than him.

Act 5: Guy
I was so scared I was going to see a fake Teddy Riley a fake Aaron Hall or a fake Damion Hall. But no, all three guys were there! They sounded fantastic and gosh, Aaron Hall ripped off his shirt and showed us that he still has his washboard abs, even at the age of 44. He then went on to get freaky just like he used to do. He was down in the audience prowling around, looking for a woman who could, as he said, "Handle this." I was dying over the older white lady trying to catch his attention by grabbing his crotch! Wowzer, slow down, honey!

And then Bobby Brown, Johnny Gill and Al B. Sure all came out and sang "Teddy's Jam" with Guy. Bobby got SO into rocking the song that Aaron Hall started laughing, shrugged his shoulders and walked off stage!

Epilogue: The Couch
The show let out at midnight and I was so tired that I came home and fell asleep on the couch. Whew, FOUR hours of music is a long show!

All I can say is I'm definitely looking forward to next month's show...Kanye West!