Polygamist Diversity?

Until today I hadn't really paid attention to the whole Texas FLDS polygamy ranch scandal. The minute I hear the word "polygamy", I tend to think of some controlling men who have brainwashed some poor women so that they can have lots of sex and get waited on hand and foot.

Watching some of the wives from the ranch on the Today Show this morning did nothing to change my assumption. My goodness, these ladies need some serious deprogramming, not to mention a few hours alone with Tim Gunn.



At the 2:14 mark, I was totally talking to my TV:

"Do you hear the craziness you're saying? Is your hair for real? Why are you dressed like you're on Little House on the Prairie? Do you know you sound like a robot?"

Even if they want to claim that no abuse happened with their kids, wowzer, they seriously need help in the mental department!

And another thing, I'm just wondering, are there ever African-American polygamists? Asian-American polygamists? Latinos? Or do white folks in these United States have polygamy on lock down or something?

Even on that TV show, Big Love, it was all white ladies as the wives. And instead of the husband looking like the Grizzly Adams we urban elite snobs clearly think they look like, Bill Paxton gets thrown in there as the husband.

Is America just not ready to see some black guy from the 'Sip being stressed by having to manage his relationships with his four wives? Don't we want to see the Chinese guy from the outskirts of San Francisco getting his freak on with Wife #1 on Monday, Wife #2 on Wednesday and Wife #3 on the weekends?

I know some comedian somewhere has probably told a joke at some point about how no real sistah is gonna tolerate being Wife Number Two, let alone being Wife Number Twenty. But at the fine university I went to, there were black women who lived on the south end of campus and tolerated their boyfriends having another girl on the north end of campus. True, the two ladies may have eventually had an ugly altercation in the Tech building over this situation, and said altercation may have ultimately been blamed on one of them being ghetto since she was from Gary, but you get where I'm going with this, right? And in the many years since college, how many times have I heard someone say, "He may creep with her but he comes home to me at night."

So why don't black folks, Asians and Latinos just full on go for the polygamist route? Not saying it should go down like that, because I don't, but why don't we have a little more diversity in our polygamists?

Klingon and Orama go to Disneyland

After a few days away, I'm finally landing back on Planet Blog.

I've missed you all! I've had so many things I've wanted to post about but I haven't and I've neglected coming over to visit everyone else's blogs. Tsk. Tsk. Shame on me.

It's just that spending 16 hours at Disneyland on Saturday left me exhausted and my dear friend Jane and her five year-old daughter were here visiting. I felt like it would not be polite to have company come all the way from Michigan and then be like, "Excuse me while I go catch up on my blogging." That, and we were running around having fun so I wasn't even home most of the time! Whew! The house feels so super quiet without her cute little girl around.

Anyway, Disneyland on Saturday was cool. We got there at 9 AM, stayed till midnight, rode everything worth riding because I am the type to go to Disneyland with a plan and a schedule. I mean, you better have a plan to get all the bang for your buck you can since it's like $56 per person to get into the park!

Yes, Disneyland is fun but the only diversity there is in the crowd. I guess they've missed out on MLK's dream in their hiring practices. Do they have an unspoken rule there to not hire more than one black, Latino or Asian actor or actress for the entire park? I mean, the only time I saw a significant number of black cast members was during the "Jungle Cruise" when the "guide" pointed out the cannibals.

Oh wait, those weren't even real people. Nope, the cannibals are just wax statues.

Even in the "Parade of Dreams" where actors and actresses dress up as the characters and march down Disney's Main Street, the only non-white performers seemed to be on the "Lion King" float. I guess those Disneyland execs can't find a diverse group of performers for those roles. Poor things. I know they've got to be trying! There must be no one qualified in all of Southern California!

Where could those execs find some qualified talent? Hmm... Oh, I know! I'm sure there were lots of fab performers at LA's Kingdom Day parade yesterday! Maybe some Disney scouts need to go hang out there to get some fresh and diverse talent.

I do feel sort of guilty that I didn't attend any observances but at least I didn't do like I did in 1996 and end up going to the Jerry Springer show on MLK Day. One of these days I'll have to tell you that story, but today, alas, will not be that day. I will only absolve myself of all blame by saying that at the time I had no idea who or what Jerry Springer was.

Speaking of Springer, I did feel a little like I was watching an "edumacated" version of that infamous show during last night's CNN Democratic debate. I was just waiting to see who was going to jump from behind a podium and start throwing blows.

My eldest son kept asking me, "Do Hillary Klingon and Orack Orama need to go to time out?"

Nah, they don't need a time out. They just need to go to Disneyland. The next debate clearly needs to be held at Disneyland. Just think what a positive effect debating in the "Happiest place on earth" would have on the candidates!

I can picture it now...Klingon and Orama holding hands while riding Space Mountain. Klingon and Orama eating ice cream while standing in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean. Klingon and Orama buying matching mouse ear hats...

Coming back down to reality, my eldest son asked me this morning, "Mommy, do you think Hillary Klingon is going to vote for Orack Orama?"

Um, yeah. Disneyland or no, my son might have to hold his breath on that one.

Love and Hate in Los Angeles

Sometimes it's easy to hate Los Angeles.

There are too many idiots driving SUVs with off-road capability. This is all well and good except that these people consider driving next to a bus on Wilshire Blvd a major car maneuvering event.

When it rains everyone decides to crash into everybody else. I mean, the last rainstorm, we had about 280 car crashes in TWELVE hours. As I listen to rain falling outside on this stormy night, I know that somebody is crazily tail-gaiting some slow but safe driver. And then crazy'll rear-end the safe driver and send both their insurance rates through the roof.

Traffic and cars. So cliche, right? Well here's another one for you: We're the porn capital of the world.

If you find yourself wondering why Blu-ray won over HD-DVD, well wonder no more! The porn industry decided a year ago that they were only doing Blu-ray, the same way they chose VHS over higher-quality BETA years ago. Mmm hmm.

And you thought VHS got chosen because it had less letters than BETA. Sorry to disillusion you.

It goes without saying that we have bad schools. Of course, if you live in any city in this country, chances are the public schools aren't that great. But did you know that the Los Angeles Unified School District spent millions for a new payroll system that's SO messed up that in October my son's teacher got a paycheck in the amount of...drum roll please...$10 whole dollars!

Our mayor? Well, last fall it came out that Mr. Villaraigosa cheated on his wife with a Telemundo reporter. Needless to say, the wife left him and people aren't so sure he should run for governor anymore. Now he's not even with the reporter, leaving yours truly to wonder if a few nights of hot sex were worth it?

Ugh. Let's just list it out, a few other dreaded LA things:

-Gangs.
-Homeless Capital of America.
-Annoying Westsiders slumming on the Eastside, which isn't really all that far east but they're too scared of Latinos to head into Boyle Heights or East LA.
-Housing prices through the roof.
-Overpriced valet parking.
-Slimy Hollywood types that firmly believe in the casting couch.
-Breast implants, extreme tooth whitening and orangish tans.
-Celebrities terrorizing the streets of Hollywood, WeHo, the Sunset Strip, general Beverly Hills area...basically all the places TMZ puts live webcams.

Yes, if I think about all that too much, I'm not too fond of this city.

But today, I'm not thinking about that. In fact, after today, I find myself more in love with Los Angeles than ever.

Why? Well, we had a break in our torrential downpours this afternoon so I went for a long walk through the hills around my house. I walked for at least an hour. Maybe two. I don't know since I don't wear a watch on these expeditions.

The time flies because I love my neighborhood. And I love to walk in my neighborhood.

This isn't a neighborhood thrown up overnight, Las Vegas style. Nope, there's no urban subdivision cookie cutter tract housing over here.

Instead, every house, every building is unique. A Spanish style apartment building next to a a Craftsman home, next to a very modern glass and concrete structure.

And it all works. It works because as developed as this city is, every once in awhile there's a section that looks like a wilderness. Who would have thought that nature would even begin to reclaim the cars left parked too long?

I live in a very hilly section of Los Angeles, so hilly that many of the streets in my neighborhood have 15% grades, which are challenging to walk up.

As butt blasting as climbing these hills can be, if I go a bit east to Echo Park, I can try to walk up the steepest street in all of California, Fargo Street with it's 33% grade. I haven't tried climbing Fargo Street yet, but one day soon I will.

But I don't walk just for the exercise.

I walk because it's beautiful and I want to drink that beauty in. I want to create a lifetime of memories, visions that will forever resonate in my head and my heart in case, by some strange twist of fate, I go blind in the future.

I can go outside any day of the year and see bushes blooming with flowers, hummingbirds sucking nectar from vibrant blossoms.

I see flowers like these every day, but so rarely do I stop and pick some. Today though, I just couldn't resist.

To any observer I must have looked bizarre, holding a bunch of flowers, leaning against a light pole, watching the world. But I was captivated by a thin river of rainwater running down the hill. It was the sort of thing I would have noticed as a small child, the sort of thing I've forgotten to "see" as an adult.

Hours later, I'm still thinking about where the flowing water was coming from since it was no longer raining.

I walked a bit more and saw an old man sitting out on a plant-covered balcony of a Spanish style duplex. A young woman was cutting his completely white hair. The distant traffic noises faded away as I listened to him complaining that she was cutting it too short. She only smiled affectionately down at his head and answered, "Yes, Papa."

I walked some more and eventually went to my neighborhood park. As I sat and read my copy of LA Weekly, I listened to one mother scold her children in French. Another in Spanish.

I looked around me and I thought about the racial diversity in this city. More Persians than any other place except Iran. More Koreans than anywhere outside Korea. More Armenians than any place besides Armenia. The most Thai people outside of Thailand.

And believe me, I don't think this diversity's a good thing only because of all the deliciously amazing food that those culture bring to the table.

No, it gets me excited because if we can achieve racial unity in this city, what a model we'd be for the rest of this crazy world.

Pull back the veil and there's a humanity to Los Angeles. That humanity has nothing to do with Hollywood or the vain imaginings the entertainment industry throws our way.

Yes, these are the things that make me fall in love with Los Angeles all over again. What about you? What makes you love or hate the city you call home?

Personal Presidential Issues

I like taking surveys.

That should come as no surprise to you. After all, I'm a blogger...someone who thrives on telling the world what I think about everything and anything under the sun.

Serendipity came for a visit a few months ago when I got one of those emails from Zogby asking if I wanted to take their surveys. When I see Zogby poll results cited in the media, I've often wondered how representative the responses are of an opinionated and diverse cross-section of the population. I've questioned how well the responses have represented me.

After all, I'm decent looking five foot six and a half (claiming 5' 7" officially) woman who lives in LA. I have black, Irish and Native American heritage. I'm not a member of any political party but I've voted in every election I could since I was eighteen. I believe in God more than I believe in myself. I'm a vegetarian who needs to get better at sustainable living. I adore Depeche Mode like there's no tomorrow, and I'm a mom who has a lot to say, just like you do too, I'm sure.

So, I figured, sure, why not? Why wait for someone else to represent me when I can represent myself?

The surveys usually come once a week but, for the sake of time, I usually do only one or two per month. There's always a question asking how I rate President Bush's job performance. Then there's the question that wants to know what I think is the most pressing issue facing America. I can only pick one pressing issue. I dislike that question. After all, it's pretty hard for me to, for example, pick health care or education but not both.

Racism is never a choice on the list. Neither is gender inequality or the extremes of wealth and poverty.

The survey makers also ask questions that I suppose are trying to help them figure out what demographic I belong to. They always want to know if I shop at Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, they don't have a box to check that says " When hell freezes over," so I have to check "never" instead.

They also always ask if I'm into Nascar. I really think they should have a response option like, "Um, is that where they race cars around a track?" But, they don't, so I suppose that's why I always answer, "No".

So, I did one of these surveys the other day and they had a gazillion questions about our potential presidential candidates. This question in particular gave me pause:

Which of the following personal issues is of the greatest concern to you in electing a president? (Choose only ONE.)
	Rudolph Guiliani's multiple divorces
	Hillary Clinton's marriage to Bill Clinton
	Mitt Romney being a Mormon
	Fred Thompson's young wife
	John McCain's age
	Barack Obama's race
	John Edwards wife's illness
	Bill Richardson's ethnicity
	Michael Bloomberg being accused of sexual harassment
	None/other
	Not sure

My first reaction was that this line of questioning just shows how typical it is that people equate being a different race (Obama) or ethnicity (Richardson) with clearly immoral and wrong things like Bloomberg's alleged sexual harassment. Seriously, I am a little annoyed that they consider race and ethnicity "personal issues".

Wow. Great choice of wording, survey makers. Someone give y'all a raise or something.

Then I started to wonder what Elizabeth Edward's being ill really has to do with anything? We should be praying for her, not politicizing her health.

John McCain's age? Haven't the survey makers heard that being 70-something is the new 50?

Rudy G's divorces? Really, I'm sure it hurts his heart more than it's hurting mine.

Hillary Clinton's marriage? Is her relationship with Bill supposed to tell me anything about what's she's going to do about those pressing issues?

Mitt Romney as a Mormon. Okaay...and I care why? Am I supposed to worry he's gonna start marrying interns instead of, ahem, doing other things with them?

Fred Thompson and his wife. He's an actor and this is Hollywood. There are a lot of old men with young, jail bait looking wives out here. Not saying it's right, but that's the way it is. And I don't see America switching off the TV or boycotting theatres because of it.

Bloomberg? Has he even announced his candidacy? And isn't he innocent until proven guilty?

On the other hand, they left Dennis Kucinich out of this question. So maybe I should deduce from this that Dennis has no personal issues, and therefore, I should vote for him. Wouldn't that be interesting. Dennis K. as President of the United States of America...because he has no personal issues.

Really, who among us doesn't have issues? You and I both know that there are some people who have definite issues...here, let me go look in the mirror to see if I'm one of them.

Ok, self assessment complete. Yes, I have some issues. And now that I know my race is an issue, I suppose I should add that to my list of "Liz's Issues To Resolve Before The Apocalypse".

I know, I know. These "personal issues" are real things that some folks are going to base their vote on, so I shouldn't really be so taken aback by this question. But, I am.

My answer choice was, of course, "None/other". I wonder how many other Americans taking the survey answered the same.