The End Of The World During "At World's End"

Thursday night found me at The Grove checking out opening night of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End". No need for a spoiler alert here because I'm not going to tell you anything about the plot.

I'll will tell you that it's a very very long film. Almost three hours long. Don't get the large drink, okay?

No, it's not the best film on earth, but I wasn't expecting it to be. The fact that the other two were decent movies at all was a nice bonus on top of the real reason the films became successful: the eye candy factor.

I'll go ahead and confess my sins in case you haven't guessed from the picture. My main reason for going was so I could see some Orlando Bloom.

I adore Orlando Bloom. In fact, I like him so much that three years ago, I had an Orlando Bloom themed birthday party. I like him so much that I have a full-size Legolas poster in my office at work.

No, I'm not kidding.
Yes, I completely understand if you think that's a bit freakish and extreme.
No, I don't care whether you think I'm insane or not.

Orlando is hot. He's so hot, I think MIMS wrote his "This Is Why I'm Hot" song while watching some Orlando Bloom movies. But we all know that hot isn't enough for Liz. You have to be hot and a nice guy for me to be down. Orlando's niceness always comes across in his interviews.

If you're trying to think up a reason why he's not hot, like, for example, you want to say he's a bad actor, just admit it, you're being a player hater. Besides, I know I'm not alone in my adoration. In fact, I guess the parents who brought their FOUR children to "At World's End" must feel the same way that I do about Mr. Bloom.

These idiots dragged a baby that looked to be around six months old, some toddler twins, and a bigger kid into the theater. By bigger, I mean that the boy was probably, at the most, five years old. Oh, and did I mention that the baby had a stinky diaper and the father changed it in inside the theater?

Now, in case you think I'm being overtly judgmental, I'll fess up. I let my kids stay up late. I'm not one of those parents that make my kids go to bed at 7 pm, mainly because if I did that, I'd never see them. I'll also admit that I sometimes take my boys out on a weeknight. Maybe we'll get really wild and roll by the Los Feliz Toys-R-Us.

But my kids are not going to a PG-13 rated Pirate movie at 8:15 pm on a Thursday night. Only a truly selfish dumb ass takes their small children to see a movie where there are rotting pirate teeth, monsters and people getting hacked with swords. I mean, all that might scare the children. The poor little children might start to cry.

And cry they did. Profusely. During some of the action sequences, these kids hollered so loudly that I seriously thought it was the end of the world instead of "At World's End." And neither parent got up to take the crying children out.

I get the rebellion. I really do. As a parent, you can start to feel a little resentful that pre-kids, you could go to the movies whenever and see whatever you want. No "Rated G" restrictions to have to deal with. No paying for a babysitter. No having to be home at a decent hour. Hours of Orlando-gazing on a big screen instead of your TV at home...

I guess the parents figured they had paid their $12.50 admission price per child so they weren't going anywhere. Plus, they probably thought that everyone else in the theatre would merely think the wailing was some additional sound effects at the end when Will Turner...

Oh, yeah, I said I wasn't going to tell you anything about the plot. Just know, those kids weren't the only one's in there crying. (Shh...I was crying too!)