Why Phillipe Copeland is a Genius

Who'd have thought a post on my serious challenges with anger management would evolve into such a great conversation about so many other issues?

I really appreciated this comment left yesterday by Phillipe Copeland from Baha'i Thought. He really shifted the lens through which I was seeing the conversation and took it to a whole other level. Clearly, we can see why he's a genius. Phillipe says:

"The Sean Bell thing is tragic on so many levels, not just for him but for the police officers as well. What do I mean? We have a society that is grossly unjust but very clever at keeping things that way. One way is to create a class of folks, most of whom come from working class and poor backgrounds themselves to "police" other poor and working class people. Meanwhile people with ridiculous amounts of wealth go on accumulating it all the while being protected by the sons and daughters of people less well off, both domestically (the police) and internationally (the military). The wheel just keeps turning and Sean Bells keep ending up dead, while the cops get attacked reinforcing their lack of consciousness of their own exploitation further fueling the process. I think part of what must happen is rather than attacking the police is to engage in a critical dialog that will assist at least some of them to wake up to their location in the social hierarchy so that they could start to work towards changing that. Otherwise you essentially have the same old game which is working class and poor folks divided against each other so that they cannot effectively unite for a better society. Just a thought."

You see why I read his blog? You see why he's getting a Ph.D.? Thanks for keeping it real, Phillipe.

Thinking On An Anonymous Comment

When I first began this blog, no one commented on anything I wrote. Or rather, no one except spam commenters . Thank goodness that eventually changed because I love reading your comments. And the longer I blog the more grateful I am for the honesty with which you choose to share what you do. I will admit though that sometimes it's hard to quickly respond to comments in as meaningful a way as I want.

I wrote on Friday about my struggles with anger management (and the out of control dog), and one of you, Anonymous, really got me thinking with this comment:

"Can you aid me with some anger management issues that I have? I live in England, UK, and I am really angry that the USA is still in the dark ages regarding racial discrimination. The recent Sean Bell incident with the police has exacerbated the downward spiral of my emotional well being. What do you suggest that I do? I feel hurt and insulted by the illegal legal process that you have in the USA, whatever happened to Glory, freedom and justice? Why is there so little international condemnation? How does the USA keep getting away with these crimes against humanity? Yet it has the gall to go to other countries and lecture them about their human rights atrocities! Its absurd and surreal, what drugs are your politicians on?

To add insult to injury they use Condoleeza Rice a black icon to deliver the GOOD news globally, she looks like an evil profit of doom cabbage patch caricature, with the subliminal message that black people are evil doers even when they get to positions of authority! Although, she is probably a lovely lady in real life, so no offense meant!

Please help me I am losing all faith in the USA, the New World Leaders. I feel like I am in a bad dream, trying to wake up but I cannot. Despite my misgivings about some aspects of American life I think that in a converse way that you are so fortunate to have the opportunities that you have. I love the average American person, they are so lovely and full of hope and faith,they demonstrate their affection unlike us English. Tonight I will pray for America and pray for world peace but Doctor Liz what would you recommend for me. You always shed light on socio economic and psycho spiritual factors!"

Anonymous, we seriously need to go grab a couple cups of chai and sit down for a long chat because you have me thinking about enough for a dozen blog posts. First, let me say that the Sean Bell verdict has me thinking about how tomorrow, April 29th, it'll be the 16th anniversary of the beginning of the LA Riots. I know most people don't think about the LA Riots too much anymore, even in Los Angeles. But I do because, well, I wonder what I'd do if something similar popped off in my neighborhood. Clearly, the conditions that created the riots definitely still exist, and not just at the intersection of Florence and Normandie where they began.

The official spark of the riots was, of course, the acquittal verdict for the police officers who beat Rodney King and got caught on camera. But that was merely a tipping point. They were unofficially begun by recession-induced high unemployment, racism, gang violence, failing schools and a lack of justice. Hmm... that sounds a bit like 2008 instead of 1992, doesn't it? And I'm sure all that could be said of your city in the UK as well, not just LA.

So now Al Sharpton and other activists are threatening to shut New York City down in protest of the acquittal of the officers that shot Sean Bell. I wonder if they will and I wonder what spin we'll see in the media as a result. I'll tell you, Al Sharpton doesn't have a ton of credibility with me. How about protest the everyday things that do so much destruction, things like crappy schools or living conditions in the Bronx. How about march every day over those injustices? So yeah, I'm a little skeptical about Sean Bell's death being used as a tool to possibly further personal ambitions.

I'm sure that the yuppies who've bought up the brownstones in Harlem are shaking in their boots today, scared that angry black folks are going to bust them upside the head with a brick, a la Reginald Denny. I hope they remember that it was a black man who risked his life to save Reginald Denny and that more black people died in the LA Riots than any other group of people. Besides, the new residents of Harlem could go out there and protest in solidarity with their black and brown brothers and sisters. They could also exercise their influence and demand a federal trial. They could remember you don't have to be black to demand justice for an injustice that was served against someone who's black.

As far as glory, freedom and justice? The nobility of those sentiments got corrupted the minute someone decided to drop some smallpox blankets on the native population that had helped them survive in the first place. You ask why we're still in the dark ages of racial discrimination. I think it's because we haven't really told the truth yet about the blood soaked roots of this country so we can't yet heal ourselves-- and when we do know the truth, we cling to mistrust and refuse to make things right. I mean, if I suddenly discover that my family stole your land a generation ago, then I have to decide what is the right thing to do. Do I keep the deed and say, "Too bad. That's life! Survival of the fittest!" Do I make my own family homeless by moving them off that land and giving it back to you? OR, do we work together to ensure that everybody has a home and has their basic human rights taken care of?

Our society is in a lot of pain and it's reflected on all levels. I'll be the first to admit that it's hard to not be demoralized, it's hard to not give up hope, and it's hard to know that we've all got to be somewhat depressed about everything that's going on. This weekend I felt so sad after reading this LA Times article about fear and depression among low-income high school students in LA. The conditions in their schools and neighborhoods are caused by institutional racism and unjust practices. There's going to be a point where those kids demand justice but when will that point come?

Why do things continue the way they are even though more and more people recognize that the way we've been operating on an individual, institutional and community level isn't working? Because even though over 80% of Americans think this country is on the wrong track, we've also allowed ourselves to be bought off. We've swallowed materialism as the driving force of our lives and it's hollowness is what echoes in our hearts. On a daily basis we think more about American Idol, what we're wearing to work and what we need to pick up at Wal-Mart than about what's really going on in our world or what's going on with our souls. It's easier that way. It's like the Matrix where the drama begins once you take the pill and see the world for what it really is.

Many of us want someone else to solve it. We want the American Congress to solve everything or we want Barack Obama to solve everything, and real change just doesn't work that way. Political leaders are drunk with the pursuit of power and are beholden to someone in some way, and that limits the extent to which they'll really demand change. Besides, I can't tell some "leader" to change everything while I go about my merry life and do whatever I want. Real change happens when we each individually bring ourselves to account and stand up and alter the way we behave.

I always ask people to look around at their circle of friends and ask if everyone looks the same or if there's a diversity of colors and cultures represented, are there people from various religious backgrounds, etc. And if there aren't, then why not? It's when we hold the people we're supposed to mistrust close to our hearts with genuine love -- that's when things change. When we stop shopping and start paying attention to what's happening to our brothers and sisters down the street, that's when things change.

That said, I don't think I have to be perfect to ask someone else to stop doing something wrong and I don't think the U.S. should just be mum about human rights violations in other parts of the world. We need to both correct our own failings and advocate for justice in other parts of the world.

I think we're starting to see more individual mobilization happen -- look at the power of bloggers to push information and demand change. The stories of Dunbar Village and the Jena Six would be dead if not for bloggers. And I remember when Barack Obama won the Mississippi primary. All the TV talking heads were all, "Well, he has a problem because he only got 40% of the white vote." Quite frankly, I never thought I'd see the day a black presidential candidate would get 4% of the white vote in Mississippi, let alone 40%. So you see, change is happening.

I really do think we're nearing the end of a period of profound misery for this nation and our world. The "end" might take several decades or several centuries. A halt to racism and injustice may not come in our lifetimes, but we are getting closer. And yes, I want it now. I don't want my sons growing up in a world that teaches them to be ashamed of their blackness and that they shouldn't do well in school or be well-mannered because they are black. I don't want anyone's kids growing up with that.

Anonymous, both of us have a responsibility to keep going and keep making sure we're doing the right things in our personal lives. It's a painful process but we're experiencing the destruction of an old way of living and being. The growing pains are necessary. Keep your head up and know that even though injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere, we are all in this together.

There's a "Race War" Going On -- But My Neighbor Still Said, "Hi!"

"This race thing… it’s dicey."

"We’re on the brink of a race war."

I heard these statements on MSNBC yesterday morning before I took my kids to school. I peered outside to check out whether folks were giving each other beat downs on the corner, because you know, out here in LA, we seemingly know how to do "race war" very well.

As you know, we will burn this city up over, oh, little things like white cops getting acquitted for beating down a black man named Rodney King. So who knows what LA would do in a situation where a politician's playing games and making racially charged insinuations about another candidate, and then blaming that candidate for the whole thing. Only a very heightened sense of superiority would allow an individual to believe that we will follow the marching orders and act like what we heard said does not mean what we think it means.

You know we're crazy out here, right? We're so psycho in LA that we might continue to misinterpret, misunderstand and take some quotes out of context. And then what might happen? We might burn down this entire city, which would definitely mean no Oscars. And then, what the heck! We might call up our friends who moved up the 15 Freeway to Las Vegas in search of affordable housing and tell them to go ahead and destroy Las Vegas too. I mean, we are having a race war so we do need to live up to the hype. Burn, baby, burn!

But I digress. Where were we? Oh yes, taking the kids to school.

The coast seemed clear so I took my sons outside where I immediately ran into my white neighbors. They said hello in the same cheerful way they always do.

I wasn't expecting this because of, you know, the race war. Things were supposed to pop off like that scene in "Do the Right Thing" where everybody starts spewing out all their racial prejudices about other groups:



That didn't happen though so I walked the kids down the hill, said, "Buenos Dias," to the Latina shop owner I speak to every morning. Dropped the kids at school, stopped at the Korean market, got a can of Coke Zero, chatted with the owner's wife, and then came home unscathed.

"We’re on the brink of a race war." Gosh, I must have "misinterpreted" the meaning of those words. It's my fault. I'm probably a "race card" player. Aagh! Someone give me a hair shirt to wear as punishment because I clearly need to get my information straight.

How appropriate then that I have another info gathering opportunity in tonight's Democratic debate. An added bonus is that today is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday -- so maybe the candidates will be forced to answer a question about all this.

MSNBC has a link on their site where we, the people, can submit questions. I asked, given Hurricane Katrina, the Jena Six and the discussion about race in the current Presidential campaign, what each candidate would do, if anything, as President to foster racial unity in America.

I'm not talking about some sort of phony, "let's all transcend race" sort of unity either. Let's keep it real and acknowledge that the only person being required to transcend race is Barack Obama. None of the other candidates are being required to "transcend" their race because their race is the "right" race.

If you're white in America, you don't have to transcend or overcome your race to become President of the United States. Whiteness is the norm and no one is going to feel uncomfortable with you if you're a white President.

I have a feeling my debate question won't get asked. It's just a feeling, but I'm sure I'm right, and this might not be a bad thing. There's a high likelihood we'd merely hear candidates invoking Dr. King's name and highlighting how they have each always worked for change, unity and social justice, and have always been an admirer of Dr. King.

I wonder if we'll hear a bunch of, "I have black friends and supporters," name dropping going on tomorrow night. Maybe we'll see Hillary Clinton somehow spotlight that BET Founder Bob Johnson, the man who green lit "BET Uncut", home of the infamously degrading, booty-shaking "Tip Drill" music video porno, is a supporter of hers.

Or maybe she's going to use that video as an example of how she's advocating for all women. She'll tell us the booty shaking in it is a demonstration of what black women can achieve.

Gosh, I hope none of the candidates says the classic, "I don't see color!" line. It's been said before but I'll say it again. How could you not see my color? I see it when I look in the mirror every day. I want you to see my color. Don't "see me" like the boss who flat out told me he only wanted me to go to an event because I was black, and it was a "black" event.

No, see me in all my beauty. Respect me as being your equal. Love me because I'm part of your human family.

Which one of these candidates will stand up and actually say we need to have a real dialogue about how to overcome the sickness of racism? Which one of them will humbly acknowledge that running for President does not absolve someone from needing to check their biases, prejudices and ingrained mindsets? The opposite of war is peace so who is the voice sincerely calling for racial peace? Which candidate will acknowledge that forgiveness is needed but so is an end to the inherent sense of superiority?

Which will -- oh heck, I stop while I'm ahead. I think the crickets are already chirping. And besides, it's almost time for me to go out into the race war that is American life. Let me go put on my battle armor.

Wearing Black, Being Black

Yes, I'll be wearing all black tomorrow: Black pants, black shirt, black umbrella if it rains, black eyeliner on my eyes...but I'll skip the black lipstick because I'm not really going for the goth look.

I'm wearing all black in support of the "Jena Six" rally that will be taking place tomorrow in Jena, Louisiana. If you haven't heard of the "Jena Six" by now, Google it and you'll get to read about yet another ridiculous example of racism in the good ole USA. I think about incidents like this every time I hear someone say that my little boys are sooo cute. Yeah, they're cute, but cute won't stop someone from trying to convict black males for some craziness.

Speaking of blackness, today as we were walking home from school, my six year-old says to me, "Mommy, I'm the only black boy in my class."

This is 100% true. One other student is Asian. Everyone else is Latino.

I asked him if someone had said something bad about his skin or hair, and he said, "No."

I told him how if anyone did, he should tell his teacher and let me know so I could whup someone's ass help solve the problem. But he only replied, "How come there aren't any other black kids in my class?"

I know how my son feels. I feel like I've been asking variations of this "why am I the only black person" question my whole life. In most school or work situations I've always been the only black person, or else there was one other black person around. And, in moments like this, as much as I love my neighborhood (despite the drunks that were back again today), I wish there were more black folks around here. Or rather, I wish there were more black folks with school age children around here. The young black hipsters are starting to migrate this way and I see them out in all their childless, boho-chicness.

Folks tell me I should move to Inglewood or Baldwin Hills where I can see black folks the minute I walk out of the door. Plus the schools have greater numbers of black children. I've been told that my child is going to have identity issues if he doesn't go to a school with more black children. That way of thinking assumes that his race should be the primary identity for him, and indeed, for many people, race is their primary identity. But we are all more than the sum of racial politics.

So, I really hope you wear black tomorrow, not just to ask for equality and justice for black folks, but to ask for justice and equality for all of us. We all deserve so much more than what passes as racial equality in this country.

We all need to raise the bar.

Legacy and Destiny

I've been up since around 4:30 this morning. obsessively listening to "Map of the Problematique" by Muse, admiring the full moon hanging so majestically over Los Angeles, and writing a reply to a quite thought-provoking comment left yesterday on my last post. My response to this comment turned into quite the lengthy essay, so I decided to post my reply here instead of in the comment box. Go check out the original comment for more context, but in the meantime, here's my two cents:

Dear Anonymous (and anyone else who might be interested),

Your viewpoints absolutely do not offend and they are clearly offered with true sincerity. In fact, thank you wholeheartedly for taking the risk of offering your perspective. Your thoughts have also made me think about a couple of things.

What you said about your living in the UK and perceiving the US as being like a soap opera reminds me of the time I spent living in Guangzhou, China. I lived in China the entire time the OJ Simpson trial was going on, returning shortly before the verdict was given. To be so outside the situation, it did seem like some sort of sick and twisted soap opera. It made me wonder how I'd perceive the US if I hadn't grown up here, if I hadn't been trained to think about skin color and people in the way I have, in the way I have to constantly struggle against.

One of the other American teachers at the school I worked at disliked me excessively because he said I thought about race too much. He didn't believe that the problems America has with race are a big deal at all and could not understand what I was going through as a person of color who'd been suddenly taken out of the racial mire of America. This is not to say that China was any racial utopia. But there, the beliefs about race, specifically, the beliefs about black people, were not so ingrained, not steeped in a painful history of chattel slavery, and they were easier to overcome.

This guy disliked how I'd constantly talk to the my Chinese students about the oneness of the human family and the beauty and nobility of people of all skin colors. To me, the unity of the human family is the only thing that will cure our social ills so it was natural to do so. For example, one of the first things I did was show my students pictures of my parents, my sister, my cousins. These third and fourth grade students, like some folks here in America, seemed very surprised that my mother is black and that my father is white. They kept asking over and over if my mom was really black. I understood what that was about, clearly having experienced such a reaction before. The Chinese teachers at the school were more honest and direct in their explanations that to them, being black meant being a criminal, stupid, lazy, ugly, thugs and HIV positive. They got all of this from watching American shows on Star TV. Their favorite show was "COPS".

It was at that point that I really understood what a huge role the media has around the world in spreading racism and I understood even more what a huge responsibility we have in the US to solve our racial problems and come together united as one human family. We model so much for the rest of the world that desires to emulate our materialism, our consumerism...and our racial ideologies. .

I remember the day I taught the words beautiful and ugly. I decided to do an experiment with the students. I asked them to say one of the words in English when I held up individual pictures I'd ripped out from some magazines I'd brought from the States. Every single time I held up a picture of someone who was not white, they said "Ugly". I held up a picture of a Chinese woman and a white woman side by side. I asked them which one was more beautiful. It's a mean question, I know, but I was curious. Every single student picked the white woman.

This kind of thing is the same in the States, as evidenced in last year's documentary by Kiri Davis, "A Girl Like Me". We are taught in this racial system that to be white is to be beautiful, intelligent, superior, capable, good, hard-working. If I go to the store right now and look at every single magazine cover, chances are I'm not going to see a black face unless I'm looking at Essence, Ebony, Jet or O Magazine.

You bring up how black people are having plastic surgery to change their noses, and ask why skin lighteners are such a big business. Well, it's because our whole society screams this negativity. We're buffoons, fat mammies, hair weave wearing rump shakers...Hottentot's indeed. And black people are marginalized in the most seemingly inocuous ways. For example, I can't just walk into any hair salon and expect to find a stylist that knows how to do my hair. In fact, I used to walk into random salons just to mess with the staff. I'd request to have my hair cut or styled. They'd freak out at Super Cuts and Fantastic Sams as they stammered that they didn't have a stylist that did black hair...because our hair is supposedly so difficult that everyone isn't trained to do it.

You said, "I, like a lot of "black" Britons look to "black" Americans for social, psychological, political and spiritual guidance."

I found that so interesting because it made me think about a Baha'i quotation that compares black people to, "the black pupil of the eye surrounded by the white. In this black pupil you see the reflection of that which is befor it, and through it the light of the Spirit shines forth."

It's that light that keeps black people going despite everything that's happened in our history. I believe we do have an innate spiritual legacy, born from the blood of our ancestors. It's a legacy that's soaked into the soil of this country, shaped by the countless prayers surely said for deliverance from horrors I hesitate to imagine, all while offering thanks for all that they had. To me, tapping into that legacy and leaving behind all the materialism and consumerism is the ultimate revolution.

We don't know who we are right now. We have absorbed all the messaging our culture has given us and so we see ourselves primarily as material beings, still to be bought and sold to the highest corporate bidder. To me, that's why we have black on black crime and the problems with addiction. Definitely read that Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome book. I wholeheartedly believe that when we recognize our true selves, then things will change. When that happens, you won't have the helicopters and neither will I. Some folks think that's so idealistic, but I think it's completely possible.

And truly, there are so many amazing and dedicated people who are doing what they can to change things in their own spheres of influence. I really believe it's less about some big charismatic "Leader" and more about how we are leaders in our own communities, with our own circle of friends, with who we decide are our friends.

Surely, if we all, no matter what color our skin is, change our own hearts, ask ourselves the tough questions, and then act on what we know to be right, surely, that can and does make a difference.

Is There More To Life Than High Gas Prices?

Something wonderful happened to me this morning.

I had the distinct privilege of paying $3.05 for regular unleaded gas at the Mobil down the street on Melrose. I could have gone ahead and splurged on the $3.25 super/premium, but you know I'm struggling to keep my spend-thrift ways in check. I can't get too wild and crazy. Who knows what might happen if I really let myself go at the gas station?

Just kidding. Rewind. We all know there's nothing exciting about gas prices.

Actually, I'm very excited to share with you all that I'm now a columnist for another site called Anti-Racist Parent. This is a site that's dedicated to raising children with an anti-racist outlook, something our society desperately needs. It's run by a company called New Demographic and they're an anti-racist training company. My columnist intro is on there today so go by and check it out. I'll probably contribute over there at least once a month.

I also have to give a special shout-out to Mrs. J. over at Our Kind of Parenting. She recommended me for this and she's a very insightful blogger in her own right so go over and say "hi" on her site as well.

This White Devil Right Here

Romeo Must Die, Rush Hour and Cradle 2 the Grave. Three movies with Chinese and black characters and all three were on TV today. What does this mean? Is it a holiday honoring Jet Li, Jackie Chan, DMX and Chris Tucker? Are black folks about to sign some sort of alliance or treaty with China?

No, have no fear. It only means it's still Black History Month since February is not over yet. And now, it's also Chinese New Year. Welcome to the Year of the Pig!

Hmm...Come to think of it, what a combination. Y'all soul food lovers better get ready to cook up a vat of chitlins.

Since the Chinese Zodiac goes in 12 year cycles, I have some very good memories of the last time the Year of the Pig was around. If you know me in real life, you know that twelve years ago, I lived at 56 Sui Yin Lu in Guangzhou, PRC. That's the People's Republic of China.

Living in China was one of the toughest things I've ever done and one of the best things too. I didn't really know what to expect before I got there. Even though I'd read my Lonely Planet book from cover to cover a dozen times, I still wasn't really prepared for life there. For one thing, everyone was Chinese. I mean, you know that going there, but then you see the reality of it. There weren't any black people, no Puerto Ricans, nobody from Hungary or Poland, no rivers being dyed green on St. Patrick's Day. Nope, nothing but Chinese people all around.

You have to understand, twelve years ago, China was not as politically or culturally open as it is today. The Internet as we know it today, was just starting to get going. And, in a city with millions of people in it, there were two McDonald's and one Pizza Hut. There was no Starbucks to be found. There wasn't even a Wal-Mart in China yet. Not even a real shopping mall either.

Even though Guangzhou is the size of LA, there were no freeways because most people didn't own cars back then. I sometimes saw other expats or foreign businessmen if I decided to bike down to the central financial district where the McDonald's was. Sometimes I got a serious craving for scrambled eggs and pancakes and I'd splurge and bike over to the ultra posh Garden Hotel. There'd always be a couple of foreign businessmen there from France, Australia or the UK sitting at the restaurant table next to mine. Sometimes they were friendly, particularly the guys from France. Sometimes they weren't. I often got the feeling that many of them were on the prowl for Chinese prostitutes.

I remember that at the time, Hong Kong was still under British control and my phone calls to and from the U.S. were regularly tapped. I used to laugh a little at the telltale clicking and the occasional sneezes and coughs that indicated that someone was listening in on my phone calls. I suppose the phone updates from friends and family on what was happening with the OJ Simpson trial must have seemed like some sort of big American state secrets.

My life was not as glamorous as that. After all, I was only an English teacher at a private Chinese boarding school. The biggest change was that even though I was constantly stared at, it was the first time in my life that I didn't feel the kind of racism that we get so used to here in the United States. I was still black, but I stopped being black. Sounds confusing, I know, but let me try to explain: Since I didn't look like Michael Jordan or Whitney Houston, people didn't know where to put me racially. They didn't automatically think I was black. In fact, no one ever thought I was even an American because at the time, the perception was that all Americans had blond hair and blue eyes. Actually, to go even deeper, people didn't initially care where I was from. They just knew I wasn't Chinese.

If someone followed me around a store, they weren't following me because they were worried I was going to steal something. No, they were following me around because they were curious about what a foreigner would buy. No one suggested that I only got into college because of affirmative action. No one told me that my hair was ugly or that it would look better straighter. In fact, Chinese people loved my hair because it was so very different in texture from their own. Hairdressers at the shop by my apartment building got into arguments over who'd have the privilege of doing my hair. And, if I didn't see any women that looked like me on fashion magazine covers, it was no big deal because, well, there wasn't really anyone else that looked liked me around and there were billions of Chinese people.

Like I said, in China, the only thing that mattered was that I wasn't Chinese. I was simply a "guai lo" (Cantonese) or a "lao wei" (Mandarin), both of which translate into "white devil". Or, nowadays when people are trying to be PC, they say, "foreign devil". Oh, sometimes I wished Louis Farrakhan was standing next to me getting called a white devil, just so I could laugh.

Most of the time, when I rode my bike for hours around the city, I went into lots of the neighborhoods that are off the touristy path. So many rural Chinese come to Guangzhou looking for work that there were lots of folks who'd never before seen someone in person who wasn't Chinese. I got into seven bike accidents in China and half of them were with people who would freak out when they realized that a "lao wei" was biking alongside them. They'd start shrieking, "Lao wei! Lao wei!" And then, next thing you know, their handlebars would lock with mine and they'd be toppling over on top of me. And then all the bikes that had been riding along behind me would crash on top of me too. They'd apologize, and to save face, they'd invite me for tea. I actually made a couple of good friends that way.

And then, I came back to the United States shortly before the OJ Simpson verdict was read. As happy as I was to see so many of my friends and family, deep down, I was fiercely depressed and wanted to leave again. I wanted to get away from a country divided so insistently along racial lines. I wanted to go back to a place where no one was saying to me, "Do you feel proud that your people got OJ Simpson off because of fear that there's going to be another LA Riots?"

Now, twelve years later, the Year of the Pig has rolled back around. I read over at Field Negro's blog about the racial divides in the blogosphere: It's being called the whiteosphere and the blackosphere. Then, I see how charged conversations about Barack Obama are becoming. "Barack can't win if he seems like he cares too much about black people" or, "Barack's a separatist because he attends a black church." I see how revelers go celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but it feels like someone's trying to brush away the real history of a city that used to be majority black. And it all makes me wonder if China, with her new openness, has lost some of that innocence she once had.

When I was in Guangzhou, all I had to say was that I bought something in America and people would love it. I'd buy a shirt in a Guangzhou street market and if I told people I got it in Guangzhou, they'd think it was ok. But, if I told them that I'd bought the shirt in America, they'd say it was the cutest shirt they'd ever seen. I wanted to tell them, don't love all that we Americans have to offer you. Don't absorb our culture so quickly.

China has a Wal-Mart and Starbucks now, but please, I pray they don't take everything we Americans want to give. We here in America like to say to ourselves, "I'm not a racist". Because we're all living in racially integrated neighborhoods, right? And we all have a diverse group of friends that we hang out with outside of work, right? And we date or marry people regardless of their racial background, right?

In China, I could see only having Chinese friends, etc., because that's all that's around. Here though, what's our excuse?