Bobby Brown Saves the Show!

All weekend I meant to post about last Friday's concert and I never got around to it. Let's just say that the weather hitting 90 degrees on both Saturday and Sunday seriously inhibited my ability to type more than five words at a time. I even got a sunburn!

So before I once again boil away in the heat that is March in Southern California, let me tell you about the show.

The Prelude: Do you have the tickets?
The show was at the new Nokia Theater in Downtown LA. I don't know whose bright idea it was to build a concert venue right across from the Staples Center (home of the Lakers and the Clippers) because when something is happening at Staples, the traffic is a nightmare! But we braved it all, paid $25 for parking and were actually half an hour early for the concert. On the walk from the car I said to my husband, "Do you have the tickets?"

He seriously looked at me like I'd grown two heads and he wanted to chop one of them off. "No. I thought you had them. You always bring the tickets!"

So, I flirted/begged the parking guys for the $25 back and headed home! The whole ride home SOMEBODY was being such a whiner. "We're going to miss the beginning of the show! What if I don't get to see Guy?" Oh my goodness, I wanted to smack him! But thankfully, it only took about eight minutes to get home (yes, I was speeding on the 101) and we were back downtown and parked by 8:00, which made the, "I'm not gonna see Teddy Riley," crybaby chill out.

Act 1: After 7
Now I know how my parents felt when they'd go to see the Temptations and then come home and talk about how there was only one original Temptation left. Um, who were these dudes? I think only one of the original group members is left. All in all, they were pretty boring. They did stuff like tell us to snap our fingers like "grown folks". I'm sorry, but when I go to a show, I don't want to sit on my rear, snapping my fingers and act like I'm getting ready for a nap. I was pretty through when the lead guy started serenading these much older ladies in the front row and they in turn started trying to hump on him. Just Eww! When you get to a certain age, you really should know better!

Act 2: Al B. Sure
So Al B. Sure comes out on stage dressed in suit and a fedora. I get all excited because I'm thinking I'm going to hear him sing "Nite and Day" or something else awesome. But noooo, he's just the Master of Ceremonies because he works for Hot 92 Jamz nowadays. How did I miss that small detail? Hmm... I was so annoyed. But he had a lot of jokes about how he 1) is chunky because he's 40 years old and 2) can actually sing now. He definitely told the truth about both of those things. But he swears he's going to Jenny Craig with Queen Latifah and he's going to slim back down by the time he releases his next record this fall. (just kidding about the Jenny Craig part, I think).

So he gets us all hyped up for Tony! Toni! Tone! and I'm going nuts at this point as the guys start to come out on stage...

Act 3: The Fake Raphael Saadiq
I remember there were some issues between the three guys in Tony! Toni! Tone! back in the day and they broke up. It's especially a shame since Dwayne and Raphael are brothers, but I guess I was under the impression that they'd patched things up and gotten back together.

I was WRONG! So for the second time that night, I got that feeling like I was watching the 8th version of the Tempations. The thing that really made me mad though was that there was an effort to trick the audience into believing Raphael Saadiq was on stage. Why else would they have a guy wearing a newspaper boy cap just like Raphael used to? I was all, "Why's Raphael hiding back in the corner with that ugly purple shirt on? And why does his voice sound so weird?"

And then Fake Raphael's master, Dwanye, let him step from behind the keyboard so he could BUTCHER "Anniversary"! This kid takes off the cap, reveals that he's not Raphael, and all the energy got sucked out of the place. Everyone who was on their feet, including yours truly, sat down! I mean, why not come clean and say, "Introducing Blah Blah, the newest member of the group!" Don't try to hoodwink an LA crowd with your fake Raphael Saadiq! Trust me, the crowd will (and did) turn on you! The drunk folks behind me were all, "Unless Raphael's in the corner smokin' crack, they better get his ass out here on the stage!" I was totally feeling them. If I could've thrown rocks, I would've.

But Raphael, wherever he is (still producing Joss Stone?), got his revenge when Dwayne tried to get freaky with a member of the audience whose weave was so long that it got caught in the strings of his guitar! Hah!

Act 4: Johnny Gill
I was SO mad about the fake Raphael that I found myself wondering if they could make a fake Johnny Gill too. But no, he was there. He's another one that needs a little bit of that Kanye Workout Plan. Either that, or just stop wearing clothing that are so tight! I mean, I thought he was gonna bust out of his champagne colored suit! Oh, and the drunk folks were all yelling, "Johnny, where's ya man, Eddie?" and, "Tracey Edmonds hates you!" But whatever, he was alright. He did a nice Gerald Levert tribute and a nice version of "My, My, My".

THEN, Johnny's all, "Hey I got some special friends here!" Shocker of all shockers, Bobby Brown jumped out on stage with fellow New Edition member Ricky Bell!!!

The potentially craptastic nature of the whole night got saved right in that moment! It would be an understatement to say that the place went BANANAS! I mean, Bobby rocked "My Prerogative" like his life depended on it. Thank goodness he left the shirt on this time, unlike the last time I saw him.

Just when we all thought it couldn't get any better...the guys did "Poison"! Yeah, it was fabulous. I think Johnny Gill has to have a pretty low-key ego because he didn't wig out that the crowd got more excited about Bobby Brown than him.

Act 5: Guy
I was so scared I was going to see a fake Teddy Riley a fake Aaron Hall or a fake Damion Hall. But no, all three guys were there! They sounded fantastic and gosh, Aaron Hall ripped off his shirt and showed us that he still has his washboard abs, even at the age of 44. He then went on to get freaky just like he used to do. He was down in the audience prowling around, looking for a woman who could, as he said, "Handle this." I was dying over the older white lady trying to catch his attention by grabbing his crotch! Wowzer, slow down, honey!

And then Bobby Brown, Johnny Gill and Al B. Sure all came out and sang "Teddy's Jam" with Guy. Bobby got SO into rocking the song that Aaron Hall started laughing, shrugged his shoulders and walked off stage!

Epilogue: The Couch
The show let out at midnight and I was so tired that I came home and fell asleep on the couch. Whew, FOUR hours of music is a long show!

All I can say is I'm definitely looking forward to next month's show...Kanye West!

Snap, Crackle, Pop! Yeah, The Show Was Hot!

I think a pair of underwear got tossed onto stage.

Then again, maybe it was actually a lace glove. Or maybe I am just imagining that I saw underwear flying through the air in the direction of Davey Havok.

If I did imagine it, you have to understand: Tonight's Blaqk Audio show at The Mayan was HOT!

The opening DJ? Not so much. Howie Pyro text-messaged and yawned while phoning in his set. He did play an amazing track by Fischerspooner. Other than that, my three year-old could've mixed better.

Thankfully, his "performance" was soon over and Mr. Havok and Mr. Puget finally took the stage. Here's what I think made the Blaqk Audio show amazing:

1) The crowd was not the typical "Too Cool For School" LA crowd. Instead, this crowd was ready to let loose, dance and sing along to all the songs. It was general admission so things got a little crazy at times with folks trying push their way to the front. But, for once, LA represented!

2) Davey Havok is a great front man. The guy's been performing and touring with AFI for the past fifteen years or so and it really shows. He knows how to work a crowd. I mean, really work a crowd, hence the suspicion about the underwear. And while I didn't hear anyone yelling about how hot he is...um, yeah, he's a very good looking man in person.

3) Jade Puget is no slouch on the synths. He's the guitarist for AFI normally, but he's the music side of Blaqk Audio. Plus he sings backup, dances, and gets the crowd going. I wish I could hug him for creating the song "Cities of Night".

4) Davey and Jade were genuinely having fun together on stage. This is particularly true on their cover of Blur's "Girls and Boys". There's no faking how much they were enjoying themselves. I mean, when's the last time you saw a show where the entertainer seemed to be having as much fun as the audience? Sometimes performances just seem like something for the artist to get over with so they can go back to snorting coke. But not with these two. They had so much raw energy and enthusiasm. They even smiled at times while they were performing and laughed too!

I can't wait to check out some YouTube footage of the show. Everybody and their mama had their cameras out snapping pictures and taping the show. (I didn't take my camera because I just wanted to enjoy the show without worrying about taking pictures.)

5) This concert was another excuse to me to wear a Depeche Mode t-shirt. Not that I need an excuse, but you know what I mean. Here I am, wearing one of DM's last tour shirts a mere hour before I left to go to tonight's show. (I look like I am still mad as all hell that I took my eldest to soccer practice and found out that it was canceled and his coach didn't call.)

Anyway, some folks think Blaqk Audio sounds like Depeche Mode. They really don't. But it felt good to rep the kings of alternative/electronica/rock at a Blaqk Audio show. A few other folks had the same idea. I saw several other DM shirts tonight.

I suppose more than anything, I'm happy I'm once again doing the kinds of things I love to do, the kinds of things I stopped doing when I let my job consume my entire life. Being a workaholic is not fun. If you happen to be one, please stop and remember that there are other things in the world you need to enjoy.

I don't know if you'll get to enjoy seeing Blaqk Audio live anytime soon since tonight was the last show of their tour. Let's all hope they embark on another sometime soon. We need things that put joy in the world and smiles on people's faces.

And with that, I'm going to bed.

Straight Blaqk

September is clearly music month for me! I'm telling you, when I said earlier in the summer that I was reclaiming my life, I wasn't playing around!

Tonight, I'm going to see a duo called Blaqk Audio. They're performing at a club in downtown LA called "The Mayan'".

Blaqk Audio is an electronic side project from Davey Havok and Jade Puget, two members of AFI. You can read about how I got hooked onto AFI right here.

I'll probably be the oldest person there since it's an all ages show. The only thing that worries me about that is that I might get trampled by insane fan girls screaming, "Oh, Davey Havok, you're sooo hawt!" Davey's the one on the left.

If I escape those fan girls, I have to watch out for the ones screaming Jade's name, "Jade, I luv you!!!" He's the one on the right.

Despite the annoyance of "Javey" (Jade + Davey) adoration, at least I won't have to deal with pot heads like I did at the Muse show last week. Thank goodness, both Havok and Puget are Straight Edgers. The crowd that follows them tends to be the same.

If you're not familiar with the Straight Edge movement, it started as a subculture of the hardcore punk scene and folks who are into it completely abstain from alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs of any form. Some Straight Edgers also don't drink coffee, they become vegans or vegetarians and they don't engage in promiscuous sex.

It makes me wonder, will hip-hop ever develop a straight edge subculture? Wouldn't that be interesting!

Anyway, it should be a good show...and I'll get to hear live the song that's been my cell ringtone for the past couple of months, "Cities of Night".

I'm really glad I'm going. I need something to put a smile on my face after what I've seen this week. Don't you think?

Bobby Brown Really IS Kinda Crazy

My husband and I just got back from a Hot 92 Jamz concert featuring Zapp, Boys II Men and New Edition with Bobby Brown. We'll get to Bobby in a minute. But first, let me give you a few of the highlights.

Pre-Show: We had VIP passes so prior to the concert we got to go into this lounge area. I know, VIP, it sounds so chi-chi. They did have free food and drinks but it was mostly just a bunch of single black women standing around staring daggers at the brotha who brought in a blond with these humongous breast implants.

Ten minutes before the show was supposed to start, we figured we'd head to the restroom and then go find our seats. Wowzer, ladies restrooms are great places to eavesdrop. I got to hear this exchange, "Yeah, I must've fucked all of New Edition after a show of theirs...must have been ten or fifteen years ago."

Her friend replied, "Girl, you always wuz nasty!" The first woman than said,"Not anymore since I got saved. Plus that was 30 pounds ago and I'm too old for that shit now."

Thank goodness I have a little notebook in my purse to catch these little gems.

Zapp: They came out in matching yellow pimp suits and did their greatest hits. "Computer Love" sounded especially great. I'm not sure if the woman in the group is the same woman that's been with them all along but she danced her butt off in a form-fitting gold flapper style dress. One thing I love about black folks is that this woman probably weighs around 200 lbs and that's not seen as some sort of impediment to her being on stage. Black people still yelled, "Work it out, girl. Shake it!" and cheered for her.

Boys II Men: They sounded very good but they have a lot of slower ballad songs. The tipsy lady on my left kept sharing her life story with me, "This is the song me and my husband made my son to."

New Edition: Before New Edition came out, the radio station personalities highlighted all the stars that were at the show. You know how they say, "Ladies and gentleman, Janet Jackson's in the house. Tyrese is here. Shar Jackson (Keven Federline's baby momma) is here and you know she's got all the money." Then it was time for New Edition to come on.

The lights dimmed. The crowd stood and roared. And nothing happened for a good fifteen minutes. What was happening back there? You can imagine the theories of what was going on.

Finally, they appeared. Ralph Tresvant is still hot and his voice actually sounds better than ever. Johnny Gill and Ricky Bell also worked it vocally. They all have the dance moves still which is pretty amazing to see given that they're all almost forty.

And then there was Bobby... who said, after singing one song, "Y'all Need To Get Some Of These Stars Up Here... Cuz I'm Tired!" During "My Prerogative" Bobby stripped off his shirt and began unbuttoning his pants on stage. I thought I was going to see a certain, ahem, part him naked, a horrifying image for sure. I can't believe I'm saying this but I am relieved he only settled for copious amounts of bumpin' and grindin', especially since he was quite obviously aroused. I think he had some really small man-boobs too. It was a bit hard to see so I couldn't tell for sure, thank goodness.

Oh, there are so many more observations I need to put down about Bobby's antics, but it's two in the morning and I fell asleep while typing just now. It's raining outside so chances are, I'm going to sleep great, dreaming about hearing New Edition singing my favorite song by them, "Can You Stand the Rain?"