Race Isn't An Excuse

One of my fellow bloggers, Hammer, left the following comment for me yesterday in response to my post on racism and voting:

Race isn't an excuse. I went to a poor school with broken toilets, teachers who read the paper, 20 year old text books and no lab equipment. But we had no gangs or drugs and pretty much everyone graduated got a job or went to public college.

Declaring racism as an excuse for violent and criminal behavior when is counter productive.

My whole family was poor and or mexican and we got out of the projects despite most white people hating our guts.

I think just as many blacks are voting racism as whites.

So much came to mind in response to this so I figured I'd just post my thoughts right here. (I was going to write about how Madonna's holding dance auditions four blocks from my house but maybe I'll fill you in on that tomorrow. I know, you're sooo disappointed.)

Anyway, I think Hammer's definitely overcome a whole lot and I wish more people had the ability to do so, but it doesn't always work that way. More often, people end up being stuck in a cycle of generational poverty. And instead of focusing on whether the poor have realistic opportunities to get out of the situations they're in, our society is trained to instead blame those who need our help. I am all for individual accountability but when it involves children, I just want there to be a real solution that allows them to be able to have real choices about their lives.

People excuse racism in this country and behave like it's just people saying mean things to other people. I can deal with name calling. I've been called a zebra, an Oreo, and a crispy, critter, burnt up ni**er.

So, I suppose I could pat myself on the back and say, "Whatever, and now I've got a graduate degree!" I suppose I could also pat myself on the back for not being an addict saying, "I'm addicted to crack because people called me bad names." But it's not about me.

There are plenty of other people I've known over the course of my life who didn't make it. It's not just about one person pulling themselves up. How can I celebrate when others still suffer?

No, race should not be an excuse. But, just because it shouldn't be an excuse doesn't mean that racism isn't alive and well. We like to think it's just name calling, but unfortunately racism involves power. Mortgage lenders can decide whether or not to grant a loan. Landlords can decide whether or not they want black folks renting apartments in their building. My landlord never met me before he rented this apartment to me. All he saw was my nice Irish last name on the application I faxed to him. I know it worked in my favor.

Power means journalists can spin stories a certain way and influence the masses. And before we know it, you and I don't know the truth.

City officials have the power to decide whether or not they're going to let gangs take over a neighborhood. We can "conquer" Iraq but we can't root gangs out of Los Angeles?

Um, yeah. Okay.

Hammer mentions that he didn't have gangs back when he was in school. Well, if only we could be so lucky these days. As you all know very well, here in LA, gangs are no joke. They start recruiting when the kids are in 2nd/3rd grade. The kids with no fathers think the gang members are cool guys that are just trying to protect the neighborhood, even if everyone is terrified of them. Those guys have the cars, the cash, and all the cool tattoos that everyone from ball players to rockers have these days. It's all very appealing to a young mind.

Even for me, in high school I talked to gang members all the time. I thought they were just cool, misunderstood guys. The reality is that they were the guys who didn't know how to read past a 3rd/4th grade level. They were the guys who only knew basic math. And they were the guys who'd never been given leadership opportunities because teachers were so busy labeling them as bad and sending them to the office for random crap.

A few years ago, before rents in my neighborhood went pscyho, two Latino guys with all the requisite tattoos and wife beater shirts started sitting on my front porch. And then this kid that lived next door would be out there with them. Now, where's his mom? She's at work because she's gotta pay her rent and she has no one to watch her son after school. She figures her boy's in 4th grade, he can come home and stay in the house after school. Where's dad? Who knows, but you know, that's only a bad thing if you're poor. Rich people are single parents too and no one's shaking their head at them, even if they should.

One day I came home and these guys are on the porch with this kid, Anthony. I went to get the mail and they told me to get them a glass of water. You'd best believe my ass went to the kitchen and got them a glass of water. I was just as nice and sweet to them as could be. If I called the cops, guess what? They're going to know I called and did I really want to deal with that? Um, nope. Especially since I'd seen some of the other stuff they did to people in our neighborhood.

Anthony ended up getting kicked out of two elementary schools. Two schools, that are about .1% white and almost 100% low income. No one can tell me that the level of ineptitude and lack of academic focus that went on in his schools would be tolerated in a middle-class white neighborhood. And of course, teachers have the power to decide whether they want to believe that the kids they're teaching can really achieve or not.

In my own life, I had guidance counselors tell me I didn't need to take the SAT and I should just consider going to community college. Counselors told me I should take auto shop because I might be a great mechanic. They weren't telling any of the white kids in my Advanced Placement physics class that they should be mechanics too. Nope. Just me. And that's racism.

Now, whether I believe I should be a mechanic or not is another thing, but when you have people who've been systemically told for generations, you're inferior, well, not everyone has the ability to hear what the guidance counselor is saying and know that something in the milk ain't clean.

I've seen teachers sit around and say, "Let's face it, these kids just aren't that smart and at the most, they're going to be flipping burgers or cutting lawns." Why do these teachers say these things? Quite frankly deep down inside, they believe the kids aren't smart because they're not white.

Disagree with me if you will but I have my sister calling me last week telling me how my nephew's math teacher split up the class into a low group and a high group and all the kids in the high group are white and Asian. Guess what color all the kids in the low group are? They're the black kids. There's not one white child in the low group. And my nephew is frickin' gifted, okay? He's one of the smartest kids I've ever seen and I'm not just saying that because he's related to my brilliance!

My sister asked the teacher about this situation and the teacher got mad and did the, "How dare you call me a racist?" thing. Well, what the heck else is it when my nephew is getting an A but gets put in the low group? Just a friendly mistake? I don't think so.

My sister has the social and cultural skills to address the situation. But what happens if people are poor and uneducated and that the child comes home and says they got put in the low group for math? Well, that parent might do what my sister did and talk to the teacher and principal. But if that parent has limited English ability, they may feel incompetent. If that parent hated school and didn't do so well he/she may feel uncomfortable talking to a teacher and may think that the lack of math ability is inherited. That parent may have addiction issues or be abusive and so may not even care. Regardless of the reason, if the child is allowed to remain in the low math group, guess what? He falls behind. I don't care what teachers tell you, as someone who's been a teacher, the low group never catches up to the high group. Never.

So that kid Anthony that used to be in my building? His family ended up moving to a different building a few blocks away and I haven't seen him although I see his tag, "FACTS" all over the neighborhood. I ran into his mom the other day. Anthony's been kicked out of middle school, has been arrested several times, and is in a juvenile detention home -- where he, of course, is probably learning how to be a better criminal. His mom's just trying to hold it together for her younger daughter. She's given up hope on Anthony because, as she said, the gang owns him now.

Should she have moved heaven and earth to make sure her child didn't end up in that gang? Yes. Should Anthony have had some sort of intrinsic motivation that made him, "Just Say No," to those gang members? Some sense of right and wrong that made him say no to that pressure. Absolutely. But sadly enough, fourth graders don't always have the resources to make that decision on their own.

The only other thing I have to say is as far black folks voting racism...well, I know a lot of black people who used to love Hillary Clinton and are now are choosing to not vote for her precisely because of the racial games her campaign has played. She brought that on herself. But people voting for Barack only because he's black? Sure, some people probably are, and even though whites have done it for forever, two wrongs don't make a right. I actually think most black people voting for him are voting for him on issues and because they're inspired by him, just like all the other Obamaniacs of all colors out there.

So Hammer, thank you for sparking all these thoughts. I think about these kinds of things all the time. These issues hit me in a certain place because I look in the eyes of my sons every single day and know what this world has in store for them. I always say that people think my boys are so cute and adorable now, but in about ten years, they're going to be scared of them. I'm going to have to worry about cops pulling them over because they look suspect. I'm going to have to worry about a new generation of teachers telling them they're nothing. And I plan to fight it all tooth and nail.

I wish I didn't have to.

A Vote For Racism

I hear there's a new bestseller out right now. It's called, "The Dummies Guide to Being a Racist in the 21st Century".

And obviously, the book's instructions are working. According to Ohio's Democratic Primary exit polls, 18% of white voters said that race was a factor in the way they voted. And 75% of those voters cast their ballot for the candidate who's white.

I'm not suggesting that everyone who doesn't vote for Barack Obama is a racist. I don't believe that. I genuinely think folks have the right to vote for whoever they want to and if folks really don't like Obama's policies or character, fine.

If they don't like Hillary's policies or character, that's cool too.

McCain's comb over? What can I say? You're either feeling it or you're not.

But the policies, character and comb over have nothing to do with that 18%. I have a real problem with that 18%. "Race being a factor" is basically code language for saying, "Hell no! I'm not voting for that negro!"

I can't say I'm surprised by that. I think that may actually be a low ball number. Despite all the hype talk about how we've transcended race, we can look around us and see that that's not true. We're not burning crosses on each other's lawns every other day but we're not exactly homies unidos either.

It gets me thinking about how we've had just about zero conversations between our presidential candidates about the de facto segregation that takes place in our nation's schools. But here in Los Angeles, according to some reports, up to 60% of black and Latino students do not graduate from high school. They aren't bad kids, but they do get stuck with teachers who will sit at their desk and read the newspaper. They get stuck with the teachers who say, "If you don't want to be in my class, don't come anymore."

I know I can go on a candidates website and check out an education plan but why isn't this a huge issue in the national conversation? To me it's because this drop out rate disproportionately affects people of color and poor white folks. And the last thing the elites in this country really want are more people competing against their own children for a spot at a top college.

And what do uneducated people do? Well, some of them join gangs. Here in LA, we've had a ton of gang violence in the past two weeks and the violence has primarily affected innocent victims. An entire neighborhood was shut down for hours in the aftermath of the shooting of a 36 year-old man and his 2 year-old granddaughter. A seventeen year-old high school senior, Jamiel Shaw, was shot and killed Sunday night. Yesterday a six year-old child got shot in the head while riding in a van with his family.

Oh, but I'm sure that 18% in Ohio could care less, because to them, that's what black folks and "illegal immigrants" deserve. They're going to sit around and think that it won't happen to their children because white children are inherently good and never join gangs or get shot by gang members.

I wonder if that 18% sees Obama's face and thinks of that black boss of theirs that they believe only got the job because of some sort of quotas, special treatment or diversity initiatives.

And the candidate that this thinking benefits doesn't denounce this sort of thing at all.

When I lived in China, the newspapers would mock U.S. criticism of Chinese human rights violations by basically saying, "Look who's talking! Isn't racism a human rights violation?" And truly, it is.

Those 18% weren't voting for someone because of the content of their character. They weren't voting for policies that will make this country a better place for everyone.

No matter how we look at it, they were voting for racism. How shameful.

Who You Callin' a Bitch?

Back in the mid nineties, Queen Latifah released a song called U.N.I.T.Y. It's been a long time since I've listened to it. And it's my guess that Tina Fey has never heard it.



According to Tina's most recent Saturday Night Live weekend update skit, it's okay to call yourself a bitch and to call other people a bitch too. And all women should be proud to be called a bitch because, "Bitches get things done."

In Tina's world, Hillary Clinton is a bitch so therefore she's going to get things done.

Just like Rosa Parks and Betty Shabazz, right? Just like Oprah? Just like my mother? Just like my sister?

Just like me?

Because trust me, I get things done. But I don't believe I need to be a bitch to do so. I don't believe strength and standing up for what's right means I'm a bitch. As Latifah said, "Real bad girls are the silent type."

Emulating the worst aspects of a male-dominated society in order to accomplish something is nothing but getting down in the gutter. We've got plenty of male bitches running things and Lord knows we don't need more of the same.

I don't tolerate people calling me a bitch. To me there's nothing empowering about being called a bitch. And I don't take it as a compliment if it's another woman calling me that. Where I come from, you call a girl a bitch and it's on.

Maybe this is a white women of privilege thing. Maybe they are the ones who find it empowering to be called a bitch. I don't know. You tell me.

And another thing Tina Fey needs to recognize is that bitch will never be the new black. I don't care if she was referring to it in a fashion sense or not. The double entendre is pretty obvious.

Tina Fey can stand around and say, "I'm a bitch and I get things done!" all she wants but I bet she won't have a hard time catching a cab in New York City.

Ever.

Yeah, I'll bet Tina Fey's never stood on the southbound traffic side of Broadway hoping that cabs will pull over because they're thinking she's not headed uptown.

I've bet Tina's never had a cab driver tell her he doesn't know how to get to the Bronx.

I fully believe sexism is alive and well in the United States, but in the meantime, don't call me a bitch.

Our Acceptance of the Code

Unless you live under a rock, you know that Barack Obama won three primaries last night.

I watched the election results for quite a while, listened to him give another inspiring speech, and then watched all the talking heads discuss his win, and thus, Hillary Clinton's loss.

As I watched the pundits, I found myself stepping back and listening to what they were saying. Code words were flying back and forth as they discussed Obama and Clinton's election chances. Before I knew it, I developed an unease that followed me into the wee hours of a sleepless night.

Was it only a week ago that I complained about a woman assuming that I was voting for Obama? Indeed, it was fun playing a prank on her by telling her I voted for Ron Paul. But unfortunately, the assumption that people are voting according to race continues to be made on a wide scale basis.

We get so used to hearing and reading statements like, "Obama won (Pick a State) because the black vote turned out in record numbers."

This sort of thing continues to be said by reporters and Clinton spokespeople alike. It doesn't seem to matter that Obama has won in a whole host of states where there's like two black people total in residence. More than two black folks in Maine and Idaho you say? Okay, three. I'll give you three tops.

And what about the states with more than three black people in residence? Well for them, we get to hear how, "The Obama camp is celebrating last night's decisive win, a victory boosted by (Pick a State's) sizeable black population."

It doesn't matter if 60% of non-black folks voted for Barack. If a bunch of black folks voted for him, he only won because of that. Heck, if only one black person voted for him, that vote just tipped the scales!

I don't believe in voting by looking at a person's color. In my world, woting decisions should be made in a thoughtful and humble manner because we're accountable to the greater good for our decisions. If you think about it, voting is an incredibly sacred responsibility and as such, voters should take the time to independently investigate each candidates stance on issues, their voting record and their character. You should know why you want to vote for someone, and it shouldn't be because of some blogger's opinion or a politician's endorsement. It shouldn't be because Oprah and Rush Limbaugh told you to vote (or not to vote) for a candidate. And it sure shouldn't be solely because of the color of their skin.

I recently commented on another blog that there are lots of black folks I have nothing in common with and share no values with. I'm not voting for 50 Cent or P. Diddy if they run for office. Even if L'il Kim finds God and repents for subjecting our eyes to her myriad plastic surgeries, if she decides to run for Los Angeles City Council, guess what? I'm not voting for her!

Celebrities aside, there are also plenty of black politicians you couldn't pay me to support either. Remember Marion Barry smoking crack in the hotel room? Put away the CIA setup theories for a second because regardless, I wouldn't have voted for him for mayor a second time. Heck, I might not have voted for him the first time and I'm confused as to how he's in office right now!

That being said, I, and every other black person, should have the luxury everybody else does to follow a candidate for the most ridiculous reasons ever. If I tell you I'm voting for Hillary simply because I like her blue power suit, so be it. If I like McCain's comb over, so what? Who could possibly not like that comb over! If I'm voting for Obama because I really just want to see his wife in the White House as a fly First Lady, fine, I should have that right!

And once Michelle Barack gets elected, I'm going to send emails begging her to flip the script, get rid of that straight hair and get a big afro to scare America!

Just kidding. I think.

It just seems like black people have to come up with incredibly articulate, issue-focused reasons to vote for Obama and nobody else is being required to do so.

That's especially annoying since only a few months ago, Barack was supposedly struggling to be seen as black enough. Remember Tavis Smiley's "State of the Black Union" last year? If you didn't see it, count your blessings because you missed out on the whole, "All skin is not kin!" comment.
Yeah, until a few months ago, black people were supposedly standing around saying, "Barack's not really black. He's mixed and his momma's white. Vote for Clinton because her husband really is black."

In the meantime, it's OK for other groups of people to vote for Hillary Clinton precisely because she's white.

We get used to hearing coded language like, "Clinton is counting on the sizeable Latino vote to turn out in Texas and push her ahead." This translates into, "We believe Latinos are a homogeneous group of racist folks who won't vote for a black man."

That's alright according to the Clinton campaign if that gets their candidate elected and it's just fine with all the talking heads, too. How do I know this? Because I don't hear anything coming from either the Clinton campaign or from the TV and newspaper pundits unequivocably saying this sort of thing is not the way our country should be. Instead, if our nation's racial sicknesses help a campaign, that's just the way things are.

In fact, I don't hear any campaign loudly saying, "If you are only voting for me because I'm white or black, don't vote for me. Vote for me because you believe I'm a leader and you respect my stance on the issues."

Have you heard that said? Check me if I'm wrong and somehow missed that in all of the pundit and campaign spokesperson upchuck.

I also don't hear these folks talking about how the mere fact that we regularly break down candidates' votes along racial lines proves that we are not in the post-racial existence we'd like to sometimes think we are. I mean, every news show analyzes votes according to how whites, blacks, and Latinos voted.

Actually, I'm starting to wonder why we never get to hear how Asians vote. California has the largest Asian population in the United States and we didn't hear about their super Tuesday vote. What's up with that? C'mon, pundits, don't leave Asian people out of the insanity. They might feel left out!

There's that old saying that sometimes if you stand too close to the wall you can't see the whole picture. Well, when I step back from the speeches, the analysis, the blogs and the newspaper articles, I can't help but think about how the way we discuss the candidates, voting and our electoral process is inherently corrupt. And the icing on the campaign cake is how steeped we all are in the sickness of racism.

We take it in, tune it out, regurgitate it without thinking and slowly accept it as reality. We become numb to it and feel crazy if we think about it too much. It's like we're living in the Matrix.

How do we break free?

Starbucks Lesson 187: Don't Ask Who I Voted For!

I proudly wore my "I voted" sticker all day yesterday. When I switched jackets later in the afternoon, I noticed it was losing it's ability to stick so I put a little piece of tape on the back of it so I could continue to sport it all night.

It's still stuck to the jacket I have on this morning, but I'd forgotten all about it's presence. At least, until the blond woman in front of me in a very long line at Starbucks interrupted my daydreams by saying, "Wow, you still have on your "I voted" sticker."

I am, as I noted yesterday, a very excited, proud voter so I was all smiles when I replied, "Oh, I guess I do! I wore this jacket yesterday."

She nodded her head and then snidely asked, "Who'd you go for? Obama?"

First of all, I'm sorry, but folks should know better than to flat out ask people who they voted for. That's just rude. I don't know you and you are not an exit poller. And even if you were, I'm not telling you who I voted for!

Second of all, I'm at Starbucks for crying out loud! I'm just there to get my chai and be out. And doesn't she know it's dangerous to talk to people at Starbucks in the morning? Most of them have not had their caffeine fix and they will snap at you in a heartbeat if you even look at them funny!

Finally, why was she assuming that I voted for Obama? Last time I checked, there are a whole gang of folks still running for the Presidency.

Let me make some "assumptions" back about her. I doubt she assumed this because she believes Obama's so darn awesome and she thinks everybody should vote for him. Nope, she was looking at my skin color and thinking that because it's similar to Barack Obama's that he automatically got my vote.

Who cares about issues or anything like that. If I'm black, I must just love Barack Obama because, well, he's black too. Black people don't care about anything else, right? We don't care about Iraq even though we've got sons, daughters and cousins over there fighting. We don't care about education even though our children disproportionately go to jacked up, failing schools. And we don't care about the economy either even though unemployment rates for black men are ridiculous. No, we're not thinking about any of that stuff. We just wanna see a black man in the White House so we can say we've arrived and Dr. King's dream has finally been realized.

Whatever.

How does she know I'm not one of the over 166,000 California idiots who voted for John Edwards even though he isn't even in the race anymore? And don't get me started on the folks who still voted for Kucinich! Hello! Vote for someone who's still actually running next time, m'kay?

Why be so quick to assume a black woman didn't vote for Hillary Clinton? Maya Angelou loves Hillary Clinton. Maybe I love Maya and therefore love Hillary by extension. And let's not forget about how Hillary was the first black First Lady since her husband was the first black President. Neither one have ever had the experience of trying to catch a cab while black, but that's just semantics, right?

If I'm not for Hillary, maybe I'm wearing John McCain t-shirts when I sleep at night. Maybe I've contributed hundreds of dollars to his campaign because I admire all he's tried to do for campaign finance reform.

And how come she thinks I'm not enamored with Mitt Romney? I mean, I might get sold on Mitt Romney just because I think his campaign press secretary, Kevin Madden, is pretty hot! I mean, Kevin's a nice Irish boy (score ten twenty points right there) and if votes were cast solely on how fly the press secretaries are, well, Mitt Romney beats the other campaigns hands down, no recount needed.

So I decided to mess with Miss Rude Starbucks Know-It-All a little bit.

"No, I didn't vote for Barack Obama," I replied. "Did you vote for him?"

Her face totally lit up and she began to gush. "You didn't vote for... Gosh, you voted for Hillary? I totally thought... Well, I did too! I'm so relieved she won California."

I nodded my head and smiled as she talked. She gave me a conspiratorial grin back as she continued. "It looked sort of scary there for a minute with Maria Shriver and Oprah both backing Barack."

And that's when I dropped my mischievous bomb on her. "Oh I didn't vote for Hillary Clinton. I voted for Ron Paul."

The look on her face was priceless! I thought her head was gonna spin around like she was Linda Blair in "The Exorcist"!

"Oh. Ron Paul. That's an interesting choice," was all she could say.

Yeah, real "interesting".

"Yes, I think he's a new hope for a new generation," I said. I thought my head was going to explode from holding both my anger and my laughter in, but I kept going. "Every time he talks. I just feel so inspired, moved to tears even."

She began to look down as I spoke.

I gave her the clincher. "I know he won't win, but I just love the man!"

She fumbled in her bag, grabbed her cell phone and said, "Oh sorry, I have a call." Then she turned away and began talking into her phone.

Hah hah! Was she faking a cell phone conversation just to get away from talking to yours truly, the black, female, Ron Paul supporter?

Regardless, I hope next time she'll think twice before assuming who voted for certain candidates and then asking people who they voted for.

It's just not polite and besides, she might run into crazy people like moi who will say equally off the wall things just to deal with the wackness being shoveled my way.

I'm a Voter

I can't tell you how excited I was to go and vote this morning.

I'm a non-partisan voter, but in California, non-partisans can choose a Democratic ballot in the primary without actually declaring membership in the party. In the last election, non-partisans could vote for Republicans and Democrats in the primaries but the Republicans went to court to get the law changed. Hmm. I wonder why?

The workers at the polling place were making me a little nervous because while I was voting, they kept talking about all of problems their anticipating because they're expecting a record turnout here in Los Angeles. I sure hope people turn out in this city, not just so they can vote for a presidential candidate, but so they can shoot down some of the nonsensical propositions that are on our ballot. If you don't live in California, trust me, the proposition thing is a good idea gone awry and it will confuse you to no end if you move here. Not sure what a proposition is? Read this explanation.

You think picking a presidential candidate is hard? Try deciphering this year's crop.

And so I went early this morning and voted. I was voter number 33 at my local polling place. I've voted in every single election since I turned eighteen. I'll say it again, I don't think I've ever been more excited to vote than I was today. As Maria Shriver said on Sunday, "This election is about a moment!" I am definitely feeling it!

So whoever you believe in and support, go vote. Hillary Clinton? Barack Obama, McCain? Romney? Whoever it is you're for, if your primary is today, go make your choice and let your voice be heard!

Rain and Racism

After a week of downpours, on Saturday, God once more smiled on Los Angeles.

No, the writer's strike didn't end. We just had a break in the seemingly never ending rain.

I hustled myself outside and took my sons for a five-hour jaunt around the neighborhood.

Yes, I said five hours.

We strolled in a very leisurely manner, saw gargantuan plants, hit up a couple of cafes and visited a few of those trendy boutiques that seem so ubiquitous around here these days.

Can I just say that if you're a boutique owner and you're trying to hawk liquid soap at $24 a bottle, you'd better learn to speak to people when they come in to look around. If I'm in your little shop for over five minutes, there's only one other customer in there besides me, and you can't speak, then guess what? Adios. Sayonara. Buh-bye. I'm not "The Terminator". I won't be back.

Seriously, in case you missed the memo, rents are crazy in LA. So, unless you're a trust-fund baby with money to burn, you better move some product so your shop can stay open.

Anyway, the great thing about walking around is that you can turn a corner and see... the local Jiffy Lube.

No, just kidding. There's nothing too special about that Jiffy Lube except that it's been the subject of one of those local TV news undercover investigations a few times. And yes, they do cheat people.

But forget about lying, cheating, scamming Jiffy Lube. Instead, check out those palm trees, and then those amazing, majestic, snow capped mountains in the background.

That snow's only 25 minutes north of my house. Well, 25 minutes if I don't hit any traffic, which would happen at, oh, I don't know, midnight maybe.

It's with good reason that my eldest asked me, "How come they got snow on the mountains and we don't have any here?"

What could I do but say, "Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in '84 and '88. Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here."

I don't know why the kids seemed so confused by my response. I mean, my seven year-old had the nerve to say, "Mom, why are you bringing up Jesse Jackson when I'm asking you about snow-capped mountains? It seems sort of like you're trying to inject race into a discussion about snow at higher elevations."

Darn that smart boy, but I was careful to tell him that that was not my intention at all and that he's reading into my comments. Gosh, what is this world coming to when even seven year-olds are playing the race card?

I distracted him from his train of thought by telling him we'd go get a new hamster. I suppose I had to keep the promise, and now we have a fat brown hamster named Hannah running around in a cage.

Let that be a warning to all you parents out there that when your child thinks you're being a racist, you end up with a new pet!

**Note: Trust me, I did not really respond like that to my son! I'm just being sarcastic about Bill Clinton's ridiculous comments in response to an unrelated question about Barack Obama. If you click on the link you can watch the entire thing on YouTube, but if you read the comments in the YouTube post, well, you'll see just how much race really does matter in this country.

Klingon and Orama go to Disneyland

After a few days away, I'm finally landing back on Planet Blog.

I've missed you all! I've had so many things I've wanted to post about but I haven't and I've neglected coming over to visit everyone else's blogs. Tsk. Tsk. Shame on me.

It's just that spending 16 hours at Disneyland on Saturday left me exhausted and my dear friend Jane and her five year-old daughter were here visiting. I felt like it would not be polite to have company come all the way from Michigan and then be like, "Excuse me while I go catch up on my blogging." That, and we were running around having fun so I wasn't even home most of the time! Whew! The house feels so super quiet without her cute little girl around.

Anyway, Disneyland on Saturday was cool. We got there at 9 AM, stayed till midnight, rode everything worth riding because I am the type to go to Disneyland with a plan and a schedule. I mean, you better have a plan to get all the bang for your buck you can since it's like $56 per person to get into the park!

Yes, Disneyland is fun but the only diversity there is in the crowd. I guess they've missed out on MLK's dream in their hiring practices. Do they have an unspoken rule there to not hire more than one black, Latino or Asian actor or actress for the entire park? I mean, the only time I saw a significant number of black cast members was during the "Jungle Cruise" when the "guide" pointed out the cannibals.

Oh wait, those weren't even real people. Nope, the cannibals are just wax statues.

Even in the "Parade of Dreams" where actors and actresses dress up as the characters and march down Disney's Main Street, the only non-white performers seemed to be on the "Lion King" float. I guess those Disneyland execs can't find a diverse group of performers for those roles. Poor things. I know they've got to be trying! There must be no one qualified in all of Southern California!

Where could those execs find some qualified talent? Hmm... Oh, I know! I'm sure there were lots of fab performers at LA's Kingdom Day parade yesterday! Maybe some Disney scouts need to go hang out there to get some fresh and diverse talent.

I do feel sort of guilty that I didn't attend any observances but at least I didn't do like I did in 1996 and end up going to the Jerry Springer show on MLK Day. One of these days I'll have to tell you that story, but today, alas, will not be that day. I will only absolve myself of all blame by saying that at the time I had no idea who or what Jerry Springer was.

Speaking of Springer, I did feel a little like I was watching an "edumacated" version of that infamous show during last night's CNN Democratic debate. I was just waiting to see who was going to jump from behind a podium and start throwing blows.

My eldest son kept asking me, "Do Hillary Klingon and Orack Orama need to go to time out?"

Nah, they don't need a time out. They just need to go to Disneyland. The next debate clearly needs to be held at Disneyland. Just think what a positive effect debating in the "Happiest place on earth" would have on the candidates!

I can picture it now...Klingon and Orama holding hands while riding Space Mountain. Klingon and Orama eating ice cream while standing in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean. Klingon and Orama buying matching mouse ear hats...

Coming back down to reality, my eldest son asked me this morning, "Mommy, do you think Hillary Klingon is going to vote for Orack Orama?"

Um, yeah. Disneyland or no, my son might have to hold his breath on that one.