32A, 34B, 36C, 38D? Your Guess Is As Good As The Salesgirl's!

Last night, I went to the JcPenney at the Glendale Galleria. I was in search of new shoes and pants for my eldest son, Olinga, also known as "The Human Weed" because he's growing so quickly. After getting both of my kids shoes and pants (great prices!) I decided to head to the lingerie department to check out what was on sale there as well.

My eldest is at that age where he screams, "EWW...GIRL'S UNDERWEAR!" at the top of his lungs. That progresses to, "I can't look! Rescue me, mommy! AAGH, I SEE BRAS!" The younger one says whatever his brother is saying, but he seems to have more lung power, and also will add his own flavor by saying stuff like "nasty underwear" and "gross bras". Needless to say, I sent them to a play area with their father.

It turns out, I was the only customer wandering around the lingerie department at 7:30 on a Sunday night. I picked up some underwear that was on sale, "Five for $25". I'll never get why a pair of underwear is $5, but that's a whole other issue.

Then I saw a sign advertising a "Free Bra Fit Event" and figured I should get myself measured. After all, I always read how most women are going around wearing the wrong bra size and I don't want to be one of them. And,I was safe! No other customers were there to hear my measurements, unlike last time I got my bra size measured and the saleswoman seemed to be hell-bent on shouting my measurements through a megaphone. I figured it'd be smooth sailing.

I approached the counter where three employees were chatting with each other while folding and rehanging items discarded in the dressing rooms. I waited...ten seconds. Twenty seconds of hearing how Tatiana's man is no good. Thirty seconds...he is cheating with, "that slut". I'm thinking, "Ok, maybe they don't see me, even though I'm standing right there." I decided to interrupt their gossip-fest.

"Excuse me, but if it's not too much trouble, I want to get my bra size measured." Jeepers, listen to me! No wonder my sister says I'm waaay too nice to people.

The sales girls exchanged looks and one said to me, "You don't know your bra size?"

The very question made me feel like a moron even though they had the Bra Fit Event sign right next to the cash register.

"I know my size, but I want to make sure I'm wearing the right size. It's been about a year since I got measured, and I want to be sure."

They exchanged looks again and one of them said, "Ok, Kati (pronounced Khaa-tee) will measure you."

So Kati sighs, grabs a tape measure, comes from behind the counter and says, "What size were you before?" I tell her but explain that I've been working out more and so my bras feel a little big. She starts to wrap the tape measure around my chest. Thirty seconds later she says, "Well, you're either a ___ or a ___ ." Kati suggests that I try on both sizes to see which one I like best.

I had instant misgivings about this you're one of two sizes measurement. One of the band sizes she told me was bigger than what I currently wear and if I already think what I wear might be too big, how could this possibly fit? The other size was the same band size I wear now, but a much bigger cup size. As flattering as being a bigger cup size sounded, um, it really was just ridiculously unbelievable!

I knew that no bra in these two sizes would fit me. I wanted to ask Kati to remeasure me but she'd already stalked back behind the counter to hear more about Tatiana's trifling boyfriend going over some other woman's house.

See, now I know why we ladies are going around wearing the wrong bra size. It's because customer service is truly a lost art. We're left to guess whether we're an A, B, C or D or ZZ cup. We're left to try to just pick something off the rack and hope it fits. What size bra do I really wear? Your guess is as good as mine.

And, in case you're wondering, yes, I left the underwear on the counter. Even though they really were cute, I couldn't buy something from a trio of salesgirls who couldn't even get it together for one measly customer. I keep thinking about why I didn't say something to them about their poor customer service. I know back in the day, my mom sure would have.

What would they have done if I'd actually told them why I wasn't buying anything? I don't know about you but my gut tells me they would have just shrugged it off.