Monday, November 16, 2009

Life In Prison Won't Atone For Shaniya Davis' Death

The body of five year-old Shaniya Davis was discovered this afternoon in the woods outside Fayetteville, NC.

Shaniya had been missing for a week and when I first read about her story this morning, she was still only "missing". No body had been recovered and her father, Bradley Lockhart, was still pleading for someone to return her.

He wasn't with Shaniya's mother and he'd had custody of Shaniya for most of her life.

"She had asked if she could be a mother, and I felt that she was sincere in asking and I figured to give her a chance."

That chance turned into the mother, Antoinette Davis, being arrested and charged with, "human trafficking, felony child abuse involving prostitution, filing a false police report and interfering with the investigation." Yes, the police said Davis had offered her daughter up for prostitution.

There are so many horror stories in our world but this really made me pause. What kind of sick person offers their own child, a five year-old up for prostitution?

I immediately began to wonder if her mother was a drug addict? A mentally ill person? But even if that's the case, I thought to myself no, I know too many people who have had addiction and mental health issues.

Break into your house?
Sure. Lie to you for money? Sure. Think ice cubes are talking? Yep. Prostitute themselves? Possibly.

But never once have they offered any kids, their own or anybody else's, up for prostitution. This story was beyond the comprehension of even my dysfunctional mind.

Offering your child up for prostitution means you are soulless. Pure evil. There's no need for a devil with a pitchfork when you have people on this earth doing stuff like this. No need for a 2012 disaster film when the crumbling of the world is all too evident in this story. Who does this?

As I continued to read the story, it explained that the mom initially filed a false missing child report, but her story quickly unraveled.

Video surveillance was later reported of Shaniya being carried through a hotel hallway and waiting for an elevator. Being carried by a grown man. Again, I wonder, who does this to a child? Who shuts off their heart and soul long enough to do this?

This photo makes me want to throw up. It's the last known image of Shaniya alive.

A hotel employee called the police after recognizing Shaniya from media reports, and the man, Mario Andrette McNeill, was later arrested on charges of kidnapping but Shaniya was nowhere to be found.

After I read the story, I said a prayer that Shaniya didn't suffer for too long. I've sat through too many TV interviews with profilers and experts where they talk about how if the missing person isn't found within a few hours, the likelihood of them surviving drops significantly.

Apparently the police somehow knew they were looking for a body as well, and, tragically, defenseless Shaniya Davis' body was found this afternoon in the woods.

My immediate reaction was to think that stories like these are why I don't knock the death penalty too much. I've said before I feel like it should apply to rapists and child molesters - and now I'm going to add that it should apply to parents who prostitute their children out to other adults.

There is no atonement for something like this that doesn't involve being put to death. Life in prison does not make up for this child's death. Or any child's death.

Moments like these, I understand why they used to burn people at the stake. I'd love to put all parties involved in this child's death at the top of a stack of the driest wood possible. I'll empty some cans of something flammable just to guarantee ignition.

I have a feeling there are thousands of people out there who'd be willing to throw the first flaming torch on Shaniya's behalf.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

A Pulse Check Without Thinking Too Much

You ever feel the need to take a pulse check to make sure you're still alive, breathing, reflecting, growing, changing?

Without over-thinking it, here's what I'm...

saying no to:

watching those "the world is gonna end" shows on the History Channel

shopping

feeling inadequate because I don't have new "stuff"

the same ole same ole

spending time talking to people who do nothing but complain

saying yes to:

trying new recipes

letting go of secrets

speaking my mind, even if you're not going to like what I have to say


taking as many pictures as I want

keeping the pen moving, especially when I think the sentences being formed make no sense


giddy about:

the Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr

cooler weather & rain hopefully coming soon

my sons

red velvet cupcakes

books

scared of:

feeling like I don't have enough money

breaking my own heart

anger

getting sick

my parents dying

deeply inspired by:

good books

nature

my children

creative people

old Bette Davis and Joan Crawford films

obsessed with:

Depeche Mode

black clothing

my hair

writing something worthy

bookstores

in love with:

long walks

running

my family

technology

Los Angeles

haunted by:

the answer to the question "what if?"

inadequacy

the things I wish I'd said

saved by:

prayers

my children

books

writing

running

and you?

Special hat-tip to Lucrecer at Art Slam and Mocha Momma for inspriring me to do this meme!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

RIP, Snips Padawan

Our hamster Snips (full name Snips Padawan) died late Friday night. Snips has been the best pet: totally social and playful, falling asleep in laps, riding around on shoulders. She hung out with me so much she learned how to use my BlackBerry and my laptop.

I decided not to tell my children about her death in the morning since we were going to a fun event and I knew they were going to be devastated.

In the afternoon, a bit after we came home, my eldest son went over to Snips' cage to say hello, and he discovered that Snips wasn't breathing.

He cried. My youngest son cried. I cried. My husband went out to the backyard to dig a hole.

We buried her in our backyard in a Trader Joe's organic chamomile tea box. Through their tears my sons filled the dirt back into the hole and then decorated her grave with sea shells they collected the last time we were in Santa Barbara.

Afterwards, we headed to the Griffith Park Observatory to watch the sunset. As the sun sunk below the horizon, I talked to my sons about how nothing lasts forever, not even the beauty of a sunny day. We talked about how that's the way of the world, it's what happens, and it can be a beautiful thing.

Every time we have a pet death I think about how much tougher it's going to be when someone close to us dies, a friend or relative, someone they know. I hope we can always remember through our tears that death is ultimately a beautiful thing.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Exposing and Boycotting Racist Ponds & Unilever

So many of you have been absolutely shocked over the "White Beauty" commercial from India that I shared in Wednesday's post about Sammy Sosa admitting he's bleaching his skin.

"White Beauty" is a bleaching cream made by Ponds, which is in turn owned by parent company Unilever.

The image on the left is currently featured on the Pond's India site, where they say, "Through extensive research conducted by the scientists at the Pond’s Institute, for various countries including India, we were able to discern that the ideal expression of a woman’s beauty is not just fair skin, but flawless fair skin – spotless and clear, free of blemishes and dark spots.

If I look at the pictures on their site, I'd discern that they believe the "ideal expression of a woman's beauty" is being free from dark skin, period.

The outrageously racist White Beauty bleaching cream commercial ads ran in India in 2008 (with similar ones for "Flawless White" in several other countries) and promoted the idea that if you bleach your skin you're going to finally be happy, beautiful, successful and loved.

In part two of this ad series -because they just HAD to make a five-part series about how a dark epidermis means the man of your dreams won't fall in love with you- the sad, dark girl gives in and decides to finally use White Beauty so she can get her man.

The scene where she opens the jar of White Beauty gives me the creeps. It plays a little like she's deciding to sell her soul to the devil:


Isn't it interesting how Ponds shows a commercial like this in India but doesn't do so in the United States? It's sad how Ponds markets this product but counts on us not being outraged, counts on us not caring about the perpetuation of racism in another part of the world. But how can any of us buy the products of a company that's deliberately enabling, promoting and profiting from culturally deep-seated racial self-hatred?

Would you buy Ponds products if they were doing this in your country? I hope not. So why buy them if they're doing this somewhere else? Why not boycott Ponds?

I don't buy any Ponds products right now anyway so that's not much of a stretch for me. However, I keep thinking about if I just boycott Ponds that's a bit like biting the tail of the snake instead of the head.

The snake-head of course is Unilever and they make everything. Here's some partial lists of Unilever products:

1) Food: Lipton products, SlimFast, Skippy peanut butter, Wish-Bone, Knorr products, Bertolli products, Ben & Jerry's AND my family's favorite, Breyer's ice cream.

2) Health and beauty products: Dove, Ponds, Vaseline, Q-tips, Axe, Caress, Degree, and Suave.

Ugh, this one completely kills me because I, and many other natural-haired ladies swear by Suave coconut conditioner for our hair. And I like my Vaseline Cocoa-Butter lotion and Dove deodorant a LOT.

So am I really going to boycott Breyer's ice cream, my Dove deodorant and Suave conditioner just because Unilever makes racist commercials and products in another part of the world?

Um, YES! I have to believe my voice and my dollars count, even if I'm only one person in a billion boycotting. And as a woman of color, a parent of children of color, and flat out as a member of the human race, I have to do more than say, "Tsk-tsk," about this.

If every single one of you joined me exposing and boycotting Ponds and/or Unilever products, and encouraged everyone you know to do so, we could make something happen.

I was reading about successful boycotts this morning on Ethical Consumer:

"Boycotts have a long and noble history of contributing to progressive social change, as well as succeeding in their more immediate goals.

One of the earliest examples was the boycott in England of sugar produced by slaves. In 1791, after Parliament refused to abolish slavery, thousands of pamphlets were printed encouraging the boycott. Sales of sugar dropped by between a third and a half. By contrast sales of Indian sugar, untainted by slavery, rose tenfold in two years. In an early example of fair trade, shops began selling sugar guaranteed to be have been produced by 'free men'."

If you don't think it can work in the present day, keep in mind that Wal-Mart is STILL trying to recover from the damage done to it's reputation after their shady business and employee practices were exposed and boycotts were called for.

We can use our combined social media influence to put pressure on Ponds/Unilever to stop making and promoting White Beauty.

Here's some ideas...

1) Write about Ponds and Unilever's White Beauty racism on your blog: The more people write about this product's existence on their blogs and post these advertisements, the more people are informed about what these companies are really doing. I'm sure a whole lot of people have no idea that Ponds/Unilever is marketing a product called White Beauty. Everybody needs to know.

2) Use Twitter to expose Ponds and Unilever's White Beauty racism: Companies care a LOT about what people say about them. Expose the product. Expose the advertisements. Challenge the idea that people need skin lighteners in the first place. Don't let racism be passed of as simply an individual beauty decision.

3) Complain to Ponds: Tell them you think the White Beauty product needs to be shut down. You can contact them here.

4) Complain to Unilever: Tell them what you think about them being the parent company of a brand that's promoting the idea that white skin is the most beautiful by filling out their contact form and complaining. Tell them they need to get rid of White Beauty.

5) Don't buy anything from Ponds or Unilever. This may be the most difficult one. Changing the products you purchase is not easy, especially when the reason to change seems so far away and huge corporations can seem so powerful. All I can say is do your best.

More and more I realize that we can't talk about the oneness of the human family if we don't back it up with action. Together we can show Ponds and Unilever that all skin tones are beautiful, not just white beauty.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm Sammy Sosa And Whitening My Skin Makes Me Happy

Ladies and gentlemen, it's NOT vitiligo. The once handsome Sammy Sosa has admitted to purposely bleaching his skin.

According to Sosa's interview with the TV show Primer Impacto, turning into Casper the Friendly Ghost is merely a side effect of his skin moisturizer.

He says, "It's a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some."

Funny how the story's changed. A couple of days ago his camp was claiming Sammy's appearance was the result of a skin rejuvenation process and too-bright lighting. Now it's a moisturizer that has skin bleaching as a major side-effect.

"It's a cream that I have, that I used to soften (my skin), but has bleached me some."

Some? Is he for real?

"Some" is not the word I'd use to describe how bleached Sammy's skin is. But clearly, he and I have different standards.

I
wouldn't continue to slather on a moisturizing cream if I discovered it inadvertently lightened my skin. If the moisturizer didn't explicitly say on the box that it has a skin lightening effect, I'd hire a lawyer to draw up a suit against the manufacturer.

The only reason to not sue is if I bought the cream intending to purposely lighten my skin. And if I was Sammy, why would I purposely lighten my skin? Because I'm acting out my own internalized racism.

If you feel a little uncomfortable when that word "racism" pops up, no worries, Sammy wants us to know, "I'm not a racist. I live my life happily."

Don't you feel sooo reassured Sammy's not behaving in a racist manner simply because he said he's not racist?

Never mind that in our society lighter skin is presented as being all butterflies and ponies while darker skin is portrayed as hell on wheels. Nuh-uhh, Sammy Sosa hasn't internalized any of that.

In fact, we 100% believe Sosa would've kept applying a moisturizer that made his skin turn darker instead of lighter. As long as it made his face baby bottom soft, right?

I guess we're supposed to forget that Sammy also ran out and bought himself some straighter hair and colored contacts to go along with his new skin tone. But nope, he has no self-hatred going on whatsoever.

Sosa thinks we're stupid, doesn't he? He thinks that we believe our society is so post-racial a dark-skinned man can morph himself into a lighter skinned man with straighter hair and light eyes, and we'll all think it's simply about soft skin and living life "happily."

Even my eight year-old son isn't buying what Sammy's selling. My boy took one look at Sosa's side-by-side pictures and said, "Eww, what's up with him?"

"Eww" is right. Sammy used to be such a good looking guy but now he's positively wrecked his looks. "Looks like he lightened his skin," I said to my son.

"That's racist," my son replied. "That's gross."

Thank God my boy feels that way. I'm sure there are plenty of people of color out there wondering what the cream is that Sosa used to get his "living-life-happily" lighter skin.

They'll know the brand soon enough since apparently Sosa says he bought it in Europe and he's considering becoming a spokesperson because he's so happy with the results.

Yes, folks, Sammy Sosa likes his happy new light skin so much he wants to help sell it to all the rest of us.

If that's really true, maybe we'll see Sammy starring in an ad like this one that got shown in India last year for "White Beauty" -- manufactured by good ole Ponds and their parent company Unilever:

I'm sure the makers of "White Beauty" -and the gut-wrenchingly sad commercial for it- say the same thing Sosa does: "I'm not a racist. I live my life happily."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Pop Culture Mindlessness

It's almost bedtime -- In fact I'm already in bed and all hugged up with my boo laptop and watching Tabitha's Salon Takeover.

I'm sure I had something serious I was going to tell you about, but I can't watch this show and think of anything profound to write about. All I can think about is that I want all of Tabitha's clothes and I wonder if she knows how to do black folks hair. I can't remember, other than the one barber shop episode last year, has Tabitha ever been in a black beauty shop?

Other pop culture mindlessness taking up space in my brain?

It seemed like the world was talking about Lady Gaga's Bad Romance video non-stop today. It's so artsy, so brilliant, so amazing. Blah blah blah. I love her remixes but stylistically she's "borrowing" lots from both Goldfrapp and Roisin Murphy -- from two or three years ago.


Ok, ok, I'll fess up. I just wanted an excuse to post that Roisin video because I love her. But I won't even get into how Gaga totally copied me.

Screw that. Yes, I WILL! Gaga TOTALLY stole the idea of putting on a polar bear dress and setting fire to a man with her bra from me. C'mon, everybody knows I do that all the time. I even won the 1st annual Queen of Los Angeles Polar Bear Dress and Flaming Bra Award.

And all of them need to eat a sandwich. Perhaps they should set a weight goal and monitor it through the scale that broadcasts your weight to Twitter.

Just wait till people start re-tweeting your weight and putting their comments on it. Or even worse, replying to you.

"@losangelista I see ur up a pound. Lay off the Trader Joe's carrot cake cupcakes & you'll b alright."

Then I'd have to reply "@azzhole I see you're up 5 pounds. Lay off eating period and die."

Yeah, putting my weight on Twitter is not the move for me. I'd probably just get gutter too quickly.

So that's what's running through my mind at almost midnight. Thank you, pop culture, for distracting me from my real life and all the serious, meaningful issues going on in the world.

Monday, November 09, 2009

A Los Angelista Giveaway: We Cheer 2 for Wii

Things I've never been able to do: the splits, a back flip, a cartwheel.

However, despite my athletic deficiencies, I somehow ended up being a varsity cheerleader during my junior year in high school. You know how it is - one day you're nerding it out with the chess club and writing letters for Amnesty International, and the next day you've got a girl that weighs a buck-o-five standing on your shoulders and you're both yelling, "Dee-Fense!"

Now, after years of thinking my cheerleading days were completely in my past, I'm once again shaking my wii remotes pom-poms and jumping up and down thanks to We Cheer 2 - the high-energy cheerleading game for all ages and genders (seriously, boys, too!) from NAMCO BANDAI Games.

There's still no splits, back flips or cartwheels required -- thank goodness because yours truly, Queen Geriatrica, probably couldn't handle them anyway. I like that the cheerleading moves feel more like dancing, and we all know dancing is like exercising without realizing you're exercising.

I also liked that I was able to customize the cheerleaders to make them look like whatever I want. Here's my girl Zoe -- she's from Indianapolis and she likes to cheer to "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa, just like I used to back in my heyday.
I tried to get my sons to compete with me to be cheer captain, but no amount of telling them there are male cheerleading characters in the game (and they could cheer to a cool Red Hot Chili Peppers song) could get them to participate. My six year-old told me if I paid him $20 he'd play. Oh well. They missed out.

The holidays are coming up so you know you want to win the We Cheer 2 Ultmate Cheer Prize Pack from Namco Bandai:

  • 1 copy of We Cheer 2 for the Wii ($39.99 retail value)
  • We Cheer 2 wristband
  • We Cheer 2 megaphone
  • We Cheer 2 t-shirt flexers (to roll up your sleeves)
To enter:
  • You must live in the United States.
  • Leave a comment and a working contact email by 11:59 p.m. PST on Friday, November 13, 2009. Please also leave a name. If you are anonymous and I can't tell who you are, your comment entry will be disqualified.
  • For additional giveaway rules and legal disclaimers, please click here.
A winner will be randomly selected. I'll contact the winner on Monday, November 16,2009. If there's no response within 48 hours, I'll pick another winner.

Want Additional Entries?
  • Post this giveaway on Twitter. Leave a comment letting me know you did so.
  • Post this giveaway on your blog. Leave a comment with a link to the site you posted it on.
Good luck and keep cheering!


UPDATE**************UPDATE
**************UPDATE**************UPDATE**************

Shake those pom-poms! We have a randomly selected winner (thanks to random.org) and I think she's going to be SO excited!!!

Congratulations to Jameil of I Don't Know Why I Like Ripped Paper! You're the winner! Whoo hoo!

Didn't win today? Don't worry, be on the lookout for more great giveaways this month from Los Angelista!

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