Laker Night at the Gym

Silly me, I thought the gym would be abandoned tonight because of the Celtics/Lakers NBA finals game.

I was WRONG!

The gym was packed with folks cheering at the top of their lungs every time somebody made a basket, and then groaning like they ate some salmonella tomatoes when someone else missed a shot.

Most of the folks were cheering for the Lakers. I was not one of them.

Let me be clear: I'd heartily cheer for the Lakers if Kobe Bryant wasn't on the team. Unfortunately, he's still on the roster, which means, as things now stand, my dislike of Kobe supersedes any Lakers affection I might be able to generate. In fact, the entire time I've lived in LA, Kobe has been on the Lakers team, so I guess you could say I've never let the Lakers replace the Chicago Bulls in my heart.

It's not just his whole apres-surgery rape allegations and his subsequent shameful purchase of a $4 million dollar ring for his wife. No, my dislike of Kobe actually began way back in the days of the Bulls vs Lakers. Back then, Kobe's punkish behavior, his arrogance, and his trying to step to Michael Jordan like he was "all that" right out of high school made me cheer every time he missed a shot.

I've never seen any redeeming behavior from him. He's still that petulant, spoiled ball-hog brat that thinks he's the King of the NBA.

Uh, no Kobe. Back up off the crown. The King is still Michael Jordan.

Just think, if the Lakers had gotten rid of Kobe instead of Shaq, I'd be cheering. I'd even consider putting a Lakers flag on my car. Instead, I'm left saying to myself, "Hey, Kevin Garnett is from Chicago, I'm half Irish and I like to wear green and white year-round."

Now, If you think Kobe's the best thing since sliced bread... um, gosh, put down the crack pipe and slowly back away.

I know, major haterade, right? Especially from someone so peace-loving and, cough, gentle. Just trust me on this one. Nothing anyone says will ever get me to like Kobe Bryant. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Even my kids know that to annoy me all they have to do is repeat his name.

"Ko-be! Ko-be! Ko-be!" By the third time they say it, I'm usually looking at them so evil that they shut up and slink away.

So, tonight, while everyone else was doing more Laker cheering than working out, I turned on my little treadmill TV to the Euro 2008 soccer game instead. Spain was handily wiping the floor with Russia and, ta-da, there was no annoying Kobe Bryant on my TV! AND, there's nothing like watching some smokin' hot footballers running around on a field to keep me going for three miles. It was probably the easiest run I've had in eons.

After my run, I went upstairs to lift some weights and discovered that there were ten minutes left in the game. Lo and behold, almost everybody had abandoned their various weight machines because they were standing around one of the ginormous flat screen TVs watching the Lakers trying to overtake the Celtics.

This was fantastic for me because I didn't have to wait to use anything! For that reason alone I hope this series stretches to seven games. If so, I will be in the gym taking advantage of everybody else's Laker distraction!