Along Came a Spider

"Mommy, there's a SPIDER!!!"

Last night my seven year-old son, O, was in the bathroom screaming that there was a spider on the wall. I went in and indeed, crawling on the wall next to the toilet was a baby spider about the size of a flea.

"Kill it! Kill it!" he cried pitifully. And so, like any good and decent mother, I smashed it with my finger and rinsed it down the drain.

Today, less than 24 hours later, the exact same boy was happily holding a tarantula at the 22nd Annual Bug Fair.

Yes, folks, our annual visit to the bug fair is the only day of the year my two sons ask me things like, "Can I touch that scorpion?" and, "Don't you think a tarantula would make a great pet?"

I think it's the effect of listening to scientists wax rhapsodic about catching those tarantulas. We got to hear gems like, "When I was hiking off the 5 around Castaic I saw her on the ground. So I just scooped her up and stuck her in my backpack."

For you non SoCal residents, that's Interstate 5 and Castaic is only 40 miles north of Hollywood. Yeah, I'm sooo thrilled to know that there are friendly female tarantulas roaming around near my hood.

If tarantulas aren't your cup of tea, the bug fair also features fun centipedes and scorpions. One guy happily shared how he's been stung by scorpions between 150-200 times in his life. "It's not so bad now. I'm used to it, except I have to be careful now because these days, the part of my skin where I get stung dies."

Oh, okaay. His skin dies. That why he's holding three of those suckers, right?

My hands down favorite had to be the lady holding the gigantic cockroach. She had the nerve to say, "Isn't he a cutie?"

Uh, no ma'am. It's a cockroach. There is nothing cute about a four-inch long cockroach. It needs to meet up with a big can of extra-extra strength Raid and the underside of Shaquille O'Neal's shoe.

And of course, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't take note of the lack of racial and gender diversity among the scientists and other bug aficionados there to display their pets. Seriously, these guys looked exactly like you'd expect them to, like they just broke out of the 2008 version of Revenge of the Nerds. I'm sure they have Star Wars action figures at home, just like my own little scientists in training do.

Yeah, I'd be perfectly happy if my kids turn into Dr. O and Dr. T, bug scientists extraordinaire. I guess that's why I broke down and bought my boys their very own bug pets. Ladies and gentleman, meet Jack and Bob, our newly acquired silk worms!

Over the next two months, my kids are going to get to see Jack and Bob eat a bunch of mulberry tree leaves, spin a cocoon and hatch into moths. That's all fine with me. I'm cool with the kind of pet where if it gets loose I'm not going to have to stay at Motel 6 till it's caught again. Plus, the worms were two for a dollar. That's the perfect price!

And as I type, guess who just crept out of his room, whining, "Mommy, there's a spider..."

Bravery

I have come to the conclusion that I am not particularly brave. Especially when it comes to things with eight furry legs and beady eyes that stare back at you. Things like tarantulas.

Saturday afternoon found us in Exposition Park at the annual Bug Fair at the Natural History Museum. After a nanosecond-long attempt at holding a tarantula, which ended with me instantly saying,"Ok, you can take it off my hand, NOW!" I've decided I like bugs best when they're outside, not when they're crawling up my arm.

Fortunately, that esteemed attribute of bravery seems to be manifesting itself quite healthily in my eldest son. I'm now renaming him "Master Tarantula Holder of Los Angeles".

It was great to see my son getting to talk with the scientists who research all the arachnids and bugs out there. He met the professors and got to talk to the college students about why they got into studying bugs in the first place.

If you're worried it was all high-brow intellectualism, never fear.

At one table, manned by a guy I'd say was in his late fifties, my son held his second tarantula. Then, when he was finished holding the spider, he said, "Thank you for letting me hold your spider. He was a really nice spider."

The guy paused for a moment...and I know that pause. It's the, "I can't believe kids can be so polite" pause. He leaned down and said, "Young man, let me shake your hand."

My son extended his hand and they shook hands.

The man continued. "You like the Spiderman movies?"

My son nodded, "Yes".

"Then you can tell all your friends that you just met the man who did the spiders for the Spiderman movies."

After that experience, I think my son may be altering his dreams of becoming a pediatrician and may now be gunning for bug-handler instead. He held five tarantulas, three African millipedes, a stick bug, and a scorpion on Saturday.

He really had to work his way up to the scorpion. He asked all the bug scientists if a scorpion's dangerous. They all said yes, but you know the disclaimer, "If you provoke it!" I was not down for the scorpion holding. I mean, the stinger on that thing is huge! But he really wanted to do it. Afterwards, he said, "Do you want to try it, Mommy. It's not so bad."

Um, no. That's okay. I am not as brave as he is.

My son thinks he's invincible. He believes he can do anything. I don't want him to lose that bravery.