Prejudice on the El Platform

Guess what I'm wearing on Saint Patrick's Day next year?

Uh huh. And since I don't always believe in delayed gratification, (it is a long way till March 17th) I wore this shirt yesterday. Thanks to my eldest son, a budding photographer if there ever was one, you get a glimpse of my "Thinking Deep Thoughts" stance.

Or at least, I think that's what that is.

It could just as easily be my, "Wow, there's a whole lot of black ants down there!" look.

Can you tell it's Friday night and I'm bored? I can't believe it's come to this! Really, if I'm writing about black ants crawling around, I might as well chew on a piece of cardboard and call it a night.

Speaking of "night", let's do a little homophone paradigm shift because I'm jealously picturing everybody else out drooling over Christian Bale's performance as Batman in "The Dark Knight". I really wanted to see it but alas, it was not meant to be.

I guess I shouldn't overexaggerate by saying "everybody" wants to see the film. I got to experience some Chicago Transit Authority delays today and before you knew it, five or six of us random strangers were discussing Batman while waiting for a red line train at the Fullerton stop. One guy who was sort of hovering on the fringes of our newly formed El social club said he had no intention of seeing the film because, "That guy playin' him (Batman)... he's a f***ing ____!" (Insert most popular and offensive gay slur in the space where you see_____).

I'm pretty sure that guy now knows that when you say such things when there's a CTA delay, and everyone is cranky and late, you could end up getting tossed off the platform. Seriously, it was such ignorance.

Sigh.

And now, while you you're wondering whether or not that idiot really got pitched onto the el tracks, I'm going to say goodnight because I think I may keel over into my laptop.

Night-night!

What Do You Dream?

"What do you dream about, Mommy?"

I knew my eldest son was asking me the question, fully expecting that I dream about the same things he does: being Batman and beating the Joker, getting to the end of the Spiderman videogame, and having a pet dog that catches tennis balls.

I don't dream about that stuff.

How do I tell a six year-old that I can sometimes make myself dream about people that I know just by thinking about them very intensely and praying for them before I go to sleep? And in those dreams, I am usually sitting with the person in the gardens around the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City. All we do is talk, and even though it's a dream, it's as real as anything. Sometimes when I talk to the person again or get an email from them, they are telling me the same things they told me in the dream.

Or, how about my recurring dreams. In one, it's nighttime and I'm walking down the street I grew up on. I'm walking toward the house I grew up in. These very dry, brown leaves are blowing across the sidewalk and the wind is whipping my hair around my head. Then, I get the sense that something is behind me and it's not friendly. I start running and the rest of the dream feels like I'm in a foot race through every single neighborhood I've ever lived in. I slide through holes in fences in Chicago, leap over abandoned bicycles in China and scramble across the tops of cars in LA.

Most adults I know say they don't remember their dreams. Maybe we forget them because they're more complicated than dreaming about a pet dog. I fully believe that dreams are a connection to our souls, the conversation our mind has with our soul.

Maybe we "forget" the dreams because it's too hard to face our true selves.

Things You Didn't Even Know You Wanted To Know About Me

My talented blogging buddy, Moon Topples did this meme called "The Thinking Meme" and he welcomed all who read it to try and answer the questions for themselves. I've seen several memes around and am not usually tempted to do them. However, I found that these questions actually do require a bit of thought to them, so I figured I'd give it a go:

1.) If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be? Remember the lyrics from the song, "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant? "Don't drink don't smoke what do you do?"

Meet yours truly.

I had to look up the word "vice" to see exactly what qualifies. If vice is an absence of virtues, I'm certain there are plenty of virtues I'm deficient in. I don't know which one to pick. I'm really thinking hard on this one. Hmm. Does being an occasional reader of Regency romance novels count?

2.) If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be? A part of me wants to say really lofty things like I want to see the end of racism and the elimination of extremes of wealth and poverty. I really do want those things. On the other hand, that traffic phenomenon we Angelenos know as "holiday lite" is over. Everyone has returned from vacation and I'm back to spending half an hour to go three miles to work. I go so slowly on the 101 Freeway in the morning that I can eat breakfast in the car while steering with my knee. Unfortunately, we aren't alone in our traffic misfortune. The last time I was home in Chicago, I felt like I sat on the Dan Ryan for forever, not to mention the nightmare that was the Skyway Bridge. In New York, taking the M60 bus down 125th Street from the Triboro Bridge to Amsterdam has turned into an hour long journey. Yes, I'm voting for getting rid of traffic jams.

3.) Name the cartoon character you identify with the most. Batman. The Dark Knight doesn't have any super powers but he has to use his brains and all the resources he has at his disposal to fight the bad guys. I hope I'm like that. Batman is also a little lonely and sometimes I feel that way.

However, just to check, I asked my five year old and he says I'm Bugs Bunny since I really like to eat carrots. When I pressed the issue, he said I could be Batgirl but not Batman because, "You're not a man. You don't have a penis." Well alrighty then! That clears that up.

4.) If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be? The day I started this blog. I'd make it completely anonymous so then I could really tell you about the one day I'd live over again.

5.) If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be? How far back are we talking about? If we're talking about someone who's passed on, someone I've never met, I'd have to pick my mother's father. He's spoken of in such revered terms that I have this saintly image of him coming home after a long day of working at Studebaker's. But, I want to know what he was really like. I think it would probably help me understand a whole lot about my mom and my aunts.

6.) What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back? Most other little girls wanted a doll house. Pas moi! I wanted a castle, complete with a toy fire breathing dragon, a knight, a princess and some horses. There were two horses in the castle, a black one and a brown one. The black horse was my favorite toy. When I was about five years old, my family took an overnight trip and I brought the horse along. I put it under the bed in our motel room so it would be nice and cozy. Of course, my parents were eager to be off in the morning and put me in the car while I was still half asleep. I didn't wake up until we were almost an hour away from the motel. That's when I realized I didn't have my horse. We didn't go back for it. I've never quite gotten over the loss of that horse.

7.) What is your one most important contribution to this world?
My kids. No matter what else I do in my life, nothing will ever trump the honor and the responsibility of being their mommy.

8.) What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about? You all in the blog world may not know that in real life, I'm called the "Human Mapquest". People call me to ask for directions to everywhere. "I'm in Santa Monica and I need to get to Whittier. Where do I go?" It's because I used to be such a nerd that I used to read atlases and those AAA travel guides for fun...Ok, I'll fess up. I'm still that nerd: Now I read the Thomas Guide for fun. This is such a boring talent that thank goodness I'm supposed to be starting belly dancing classes soon. Hopefully next year I'll be able to say that I know how to belly dance. That sounds much more intriguing than saying I know how to get from point A to point B.

9.) What is your most cherished possession? This was really hard for me to answer since I try to be really detached from everything I have. But, it's a book. My favorite book when I was a small child was Home for a Bunny. It's by Margaret Wise Brown, the same woman who wrote Goodnight Moon. The illustrations are by Garth Williams, who also did Charlotte's Web. In the story, this cute bunny is looking for a home, somewhere he fits in. He meets all these animals and asks them all if he can live with them. They all say no. Thankfully, at the end, he meets another little bunny and they then live together.

I still have the copy my mother read to me when I was three or four years old. It's in one of my dresser drawers. I occasionally pull it out to read it to my own children, but it's a bit fragile. I freak out that they might somehow destroy the book. I need to get them their own copy before they think they're too grown.

10.) What one person influenced your life the most when growing up? My mom and dad both are serious bibliophiles and it's influenced me like nothing else. There are easily over 2,000 books in their house. My mom is the person who taught me how to read and as a family, we went to the library almost every Saturday. I was always expected to get several books to read during the week. Also, my parents have three full sets of encyclopedias at our house, along with several dictionaries, atlases and random reference books. They have almost every genre of literature, every single classic you can imagine. Imagine finding first editions of Poe and Hawthorne just a few shelves away from The Naked Soul of Iceberg Slim. There was always something to read and I was given the freedom to do so.

11.) What one word describes you better than any other? Good question but I don't know. Now that you know me a bit better, what would you say?

I'll refrain from tagging you to do this meme, but if you take a crack at these, let me know. I'll come over and check yours out.