Denny's Free Grand Slam Was A Bust
Did you try to go to Denny's today to get your free heart attack on a plate?
Clearly, Denny's strategy of advertising a free Grand Slam breakfast during the Super Bowl paid off because half my neighborhood was lined up outside my local Denny's this morning. They even had security in the parking lot, directing cars. (Can Trader Joe's take a cue and do this so that my local hipsters are not reduced to Christian Bale-worthy parking lot tirades?)
Indeed, I totally planned to be one of the lemming-like masses getting my free food, even though I don't eat half the items served in the Grand Slam. You see, as a vegetarian, I don't do the bacon or sausage. But that's OK because I'm sure the calorie count on the eggs and pancakes alone is enough to power two Los Angelista's through a morning! (I live in LA. I must think of pithy things such as the calorie count of free food.) Plus, given that seven pounds evaporated from my frame last week, I think I have some wiggle room.
After seeing the line that was snaking out the door and down the block, and being told that the wait was an hour and a half, I had to abandon my quest for free food. How could Denny's get my hopes up like this and NOT have seating for hundreds of free-food seeking people???
Tears of disappointment flowed down my cheeks as I realized I was yet another Angeleno whose dreams have been crushed by this cruel, over-crowded, Beelzebub-worshiping town!
Hopes dashed, I meandered over to Coffee Bean for some absolutely, positively not free chai. Oh and I got ogled in line by some weirdo who looked like Ted Bundy's massively psychotic step brother. Just fabulous.
Never fear, my quest for free food in February isn't over. IHOP is giving away free short stacks of pancakes on February 24th in exchange for a donation to a children's hospital. If Denny's can't make my free food dreams come true, maybe IHOP can!
Clearly, Denny's strategy of advertising a free Grand Slam breakfast during the Super Bowl paid off because half my neighborhood was lined up outside my local Denny's this morning. They even had security in the parking lot, directing cars. (Can Trader Joe's take a cue and do this so that my local hipsters are not reduced to Christian Bale-worthy parking lot tirades?)
Indeed, I totally planned to be one of the lemming-like masses getting my free food, even though I don't eat half the items served in the Grand Slam. You see, as a vegetarian, I don't do the bacon or sausage. But that's OK because I'm sure the calorie count on the eggs and pancakes alone is enough to power two Los Angelista's through a morning! (I live in LA. I must think of pithy things such as the calorie count of free food.) Plus, given that seven pounds evaporated from my frame last week, I think I have some wiggle room.
After seeing the line that was snaking out the door and down the block, and being told that the wait was an hour and a half, I had to abandon my quest for free food. How could Denny's get my hopes up like this and NOT have seating for hundreds of free-food seeking people???
Tears of disappointment flowed down my cheeks as I realized I was yet another Angeleno whose dreams have been crushed by this cruel, over-crowded, Beelzebub-worshiping town!
Hopes dashed, I meandered over to Coffee Bean for some absolutely, positively not free chai. Oh and I got ogled in line by some weirdo who looked like Ted Bundy's massively psychotic step brother. Just fabulous.
Never fear, my quest for free food in February isn't over. IHOP is giving away free short stacks of pancakes on February 24th in exchange for a donation to a children's hospital. If Denny's can't make my free food dreams come true, maybe IHOP can!
Comments
I've never managed to catch a free cone day at B & J's. I'll have to watch out for that one.
I didn't even have Superbowl food at my house, which always made me pass out on the couch before the fourth quarter. And that was from the food. I don't drink alcohol.
Anyway, my condolences to all of you who missed out on the free food. But as a friend of mine always says, free food isn't free. There's always a cost, hidden or not so hidden. Be thankful that you aren't dealing with a food hangover, bloated and sour tummy, and a cholesterol count that's so high that you have to go on Lipitor and Beta blockers!
Did I notice the earth trembling lately? Must've been folks from all points U.S.A. with that added poundage as they came rolling out of Denny's! (Yes, I am a stinker!)
Tafari
Gotta think about skin season - it's right around the corner ;-)
Welcome! So glad you came by to visit! Pancakes were my favorite food for a long time, but I suppose if I'd grown up in Australia, I'd prefer the BBQ! :)
Citizen,
No, not worth it for me, but I kept thinking/hoping that a bunch of homeless people would get fed a good hot meal today at Denny's!
Angela,
Haha! You're right, there is a hidden cost, always. I can't imagine feeling all that great if you eat the whole Grand Slam, especially not if you eat it on a regular basis. The thing that keeps me from enjoying the pancakes at places like Denny's and IHOP is that they serve fake syrup, which tastes bad to me, and I prefer the taste of whole wheat pancakes. I meet a lot of people who hate the taste of real syrup/pancakes because they've been trained to like the fake stuff!
Shiona,
I could eat pancakes all day too! I used to try when I was a kid!
Tafari,
Can you imagine if they'd had to-go? It would've been even more crowded. And y'all still don't have a smoking ban?
Haute,
Yes, it is right around the corner, and this hot weather won't let us forget it, will it? I don't mind Denny's once in awhile, and the kids definitely like it, but if I'm going to a diner, and going to eat all those calories, I'm all about House of Pies. It just tastes better.
Miriam
You know it is! I think they soak their eggs in grease! I always ask for the scrambled dry when I go there.
Lets see here ... 2 hours of my life waiting in line for a $3.99 free gag-feast. Hmmmm ... maybe just my time alone might be worth more than that.