Chris Brown Can Keep His Hands To Himself

Last week, lots of people asked me who I was most excited to see perform at the Coldplay and American Idol Show Grammy's. I was not shy about sharing that I was psyched to see a preggers and performing-on-her-due-date, M.I.A. (I was half hoping her water would break on stage). But my secret favorite that I was so looking forward to seeing was Rihanna.

I'll confess, I've liked pretty much all of Rihanna's songs and if I was 15 years younger, I'd probably be trying to do my best to jack some of her style. No, she's not the best singer on earth, but when I saw her last year on Kanye West's "Glow In The Dark" tour, she held her own and was pretty entertaining. I also admire that she's done a lot to try to raise awareness of the need for black bone marrow donors because too many black children die from leukemia due to no bone marrow matches.

Well, you and I didn't get to see Rihanna perform at the Grammy's because she canceled, and so did her boyfriend, Chris Brown. Why did they cancel? A "car accident" in Hancock Park was the lie that was floated around by their PR people... except for the fact that car accidents don't cause bite marks on Rihanna. And car accidents don't cause serious bruises on her either. Oh, and Chris got booked on a charge of felony criminal threats last night and was also charged with assault with a deadly weapon this morning. Even though she was not officially named last night, this morning, Rihanna was finally named as the victim.

It's so sad to see that smacking women around is allegedly Chris Brown's M-O, especially since he grew up seeing domestic violence in his home. There is no excuse for a man to ever put his hands on a woman, and if he grew up seeing his stepfather beating down his mom, he really should know better.

As for Rihanna, I don't know whether she will cooperate with the LAPD or not, but regardless, the police have the evidence that she was assaulted and so the District Attorney can pursue the case against him. I hope he doesn't get the usual star treatment that seems to go down in this town. If he does, he'll be doing community service.

What is really extra disturbing though are comments on sites like TMZ, Bossip and Media Take Out saying that she deserved this because she's a bad singer, because she's annoying and clingy, because she was just riding on Chris Brown's fame, because she probably hit him first and so she deserved to get hit back, and because of a rumor started by the site Bossip that Rihanna gave Chris herpes. That right there is just insane.

So the comments are stuff like this:

"Bitch give me herpes i’ma slap fire out her ass too. She got what she deserve. Bitch was trippin all last week about jumpoff central and then she burn him with the herp. I woulda went megatron on that hoe."

"That snitch! She better leave my man alone! I hope you DID beat that bish down! I still love you, Breezy!"

"There is no way Chris Brown did any of this...if anything he was probably fighting her off. I have heard she super jealous and quite a drama queen...we'll see when the truth comes out!"

And then there are the racial ones, insinuating that Barack Obama probably smacks Michelle Obama because, "all those n***** act like that!"

Just wow. And there are hundreds of other comments like those.

Not only am I upset by Chris Brown's alleged behavior, I'm also thinking about the thousands of women who get hit by men around the world every single day, and this is what the average American thinks about it.

How sad that we live in a world where this whole nation got up in arms over NFL player Michael Vick assaulting dogs! Michael Vick is doing time over it! But if a teenage star beats on his girlfriend, what's gonna happen?

I guess the lesson is that in our society, for some, the life of a dog is more valued than the life of a woman. And that is really a shame.


Miz JJ said…
I want to reserve judgement until all the facts are in, but right now it does not look good for either Chris Brown or Rihanna. This is why women hush up this sort of thing because people stupid stuff like she must have done something to deserve it/provoke it. That is where that nasty herpes rumor is coming from. And the misogyny of the jump off comment. CB apparently cheats and Rihanna is in the wrong. We're so far gone I feel like there is little hope left.
Dena said…
liz, you are so on point! there is so much injustice in the world towards women.
Liz Dwyer said…
Miz JJ,
Yes, I really dislike the whole attitude that the woman must've done something to deserve it. That's just insane but so pervasive in our culture. I just heard that his Wrigley gum ad got suspended. We'll see what happens.

Too much injustice and as we know, men will not achieve all they can without full equality!
Ingrid said…
i was following the story with you. i saw the updates and vids on tmz and i was too scared to read the enormous growing number of comments on that site.

this is sick. and i have a funny feeling that because of his skin color 1) the two of them will fall in to stereotypical assumptions about ppl of color and 2)they're far more likely to prosecute him (merely because they're so used to seeing us acting without nobility or respect) and that's what they've come to expect of "people of color".

he's no quirky tom cruise, tempermental christian bale or comeback kid/addict robert downey jr.

he went from Chris Brown R&B singer to woman-beating black man.

i really hope she doesn't hide with shame but finds the strength to roar like a lioness; to show the world that she is not just a black woman who was beaten but a black woman who is deserving of protection and respect...just like every other woman on this earth.
Shiona said…
This is so terrible to hear. I'm still smarting a little over the Michael Vick thing. Yes he should do time but if Brown gets off with probation or something that's not cool. Hopefully CB can get the treatment or whatever he needs after the case is closed. I just found out it was her. I feel bad for her.

I heard about the Wrigley's thing too but just watched the commercial a half hour ago. Oops guess they didn't get the memo
Mes Deux Cents said…

One of the shocking things to me was seeing people on some of the gossip sites talk about Rihanna and Chris Brown as though they actually know them. What is that about? They seemed delusional.

Second; I'm perplexed at how many Black women were making excuses for a women being hit by a man. I know that society sends Black women constant messages that we are of less value but I had know idea that those messages have been so effective.
The thing here is that we all will never know exactly what happened that night...we are all supposing...all putting our thoughts and emotions on the situation.

Before passing judgment I will wait to see what happens. There is always a side to the story that we are not priviledged I will wait and hope for the best. Hope that it was a situation that got out of hand, hope that anger will not rule the day and that stereotypes will not be bandied about...hope that these two young people can resolve in private a conflict that has become very public.

*sigh* I will wait and hope...
Ms Angela said…
Liz, you have to know that is extraordinarily sad to me, not because I'm a devoted fan of Chris Brown and Rihanna. In fact, I have no idea who these young people are. I never heard a single note of their music, at least I think I've never heard. It might have been playing on someone's car stereo real loud as it rolled past my apartment. But I still couldn't tell you anything about their music or who they are as people.

That's why this is so sad to me. It' doesn't matter that they are singers and have money, fame and whatever else comes with that life. From what everyone is writing and saying, it boils down to this--they are two very emotionally wounded souls who need healing, just like the rest of us.

Rihanna could probably use constant participation in a 12-step program for co-dependents like Alanon or Co-Dependents Anonymous, with long-term therapy. I don't know if she has a substance abuse problem (it wouldn't surprise me if she did), but it never hurt to go to open AA meeting to learn how change one's life. Let's face, Oprah can't be there when your boyfriend or husband is about to smash your face in.

This I know. It happened to me, and while I did briefly wonder what Ms. Winfrey would do if Steadman was breaking down her front door, I didn't have time to dwell on that. I was too busy trying to save my life, and Oprah was busy taping her show at the time. So I called 911 instead, which is what anyone, regardless or race, economic or social background (INCLUDING African Americans, ENUFF OF THIS SNITCH CRAP) SHOULD do!

Young man Brown will probably be sentenced to community service, anger management and some AA and/or NA meetings, but that doesn't seem to work very well.

People who "have it all" also have big egos, and they feel like they don't need help like those "stank winos' and "nasty crackheads." He'll probably bounce right out of community service and anger management, and go back to do raisin' even more hell than ever, just because the judge made him go through that "unnecessary bulls**t"

No, I don't know anything about Chris Brown. But I do know about ego, denial and addiction. And you don't have to be a millionaire pop star to have those character defects combine to create one huge, out-of-control living problem.
We don't know what happened BUT I'm really annoyed that Phelps can be dragged through the mud for smoking pot, Bale is called all kinds of names because he had a bad day at work but a man is arrested for beating up his girlfriend badly enough that she had to go to the hospital and we blame the woman? WTF?

On Jezebel, someone said Brown's career would be over. A few people had to remind her about R. Kelly.

You cannot compare this to Tom jumping on the couch. Some bad PR is nothing. Beating someone up is a different story.
Anonymous said…
So many people suffer abuse in silence. There are so many stigmas concerning abuse that many times people don't leave the situation until it becomes physical or so physical that there is no way to cover it up. Even if this was the first time there was physical abuse I'm sure there was mental abuse and warning signs that were ignored. I hope they both can get the help that they need and others can look at them and do something about their own relationships before things get physical.
Unknown said…
on nyc/caribbean ragazza, black women's reaction to this also brought to my mind R. Kelly. We as black women have got to start respecting ourselves and each other. And we have to stop enabling black entertainers and giving them passes when they do wrong.
DJ Black Adam said…
Personally, I think Chris Bronw told her about him being gay, and that they had to break up OR she threatened to out him because they were breaking up...I could be wrong...but he still should not have hit her.
Ian Lidster said…
Domestic brutality makes my skin crawl. People can give all the reasons they choose, but it is never, ever an excuse.
Anonymous said…
Women in this case are their own worst enemy and willing participants in their own abuse, condemning her and the senseless, misuse and disrespect. Regardless as to what happened R should get away from this male now - and forever.

BW especially and anyone who values women, believes abuse is unacceptable, and is a MAN as described here should let Wrigley's which is now owned by MARS Inc., that this man should not be rewarded for this behavior.

Corporate Media Contacts
Corporate Communications

Kelly McGrail

Mars - Officers and directors

John Franklyn Mars Chairman
Paul S. Michaels President and CEO
Mars Inc.
John Franklyn Mars, Chairman
6885 Elm St.
McLean, VA 22101
Phone: 703-821-4900
Fax: 703-448-9678

Do not support these products or this company as long as they support his unsupportable behavior.

Wrigley brands are well-known and loved worldwide. Four Wrigley brands - Wrigley's Spearmint®, Doublemint®, Juicy Fruit®, and Altoids® - have heritages stretching back more than a century. Other well-loved brands include Life Savers®, Big Red®, Boomer®, Pim Pom®, Winterfresh®, Extra®, Freedent®, Hubba Bubba®, Orbit®, Excel®, Creme Savers®, Eclipse®, Airwaves®, Solano®, Sugus®, P.K.® and Cool Air®. Wrigley sells its products in more than 180 countries around the world.


Lola Gets said…
"But if a teenage star beats on his girlfriend, what's gonna happen?"

Thats a damned good question. Probably nothing.

Liz Dwyer said…
I hope that she gets herself into therapy and becomes an advocate for stopping abuse like this. I'm glad she's at least cooperating. What will get Chris more than anything is her identifying him as his attacker and the pictures the police took of her injuries. Those two things right ensure his prosecution. No matter what, I don't think he can escape at least some serious charges. So very sad on all sides.

No, if he gets off with probation, that would not be cool at all. I feel bad for her too.

Yeah, folks all act like they know them personally. Or their cousins, friend's mama saw them. I am bothered by the excuses too. Our black women are not given the same respect at all.

No, we won't know for sure, but we do know that someone hit her and he fled the scene. It doesn't look good. :(

Oh, you break my heart with your story. Your words are so ery true and a lesson for us all.

Yeah, I think Kells actually beame MORE popular. Isn't that sick?

Very true words. Very true.

Ms. Wooden Shoes,
Yes, the era of celebrity justice needs to be permanently over. No special treatment!

Oh, the rumors fly fast, that's for sure. I haven't seen that one before but I'm sure it's out there.

Ian, Me too. It's never okay. Never ever.

Thanks for sharing all that info. If folks don't take action and let CB know what he did is not okay, maybe he'll realize what's wrong with his behavior.

Aagh. I hope that's not the case. I hope RiRi gets the justice she deserves.
Anonymous said…
I ask you this:

"Why does a man with fabulous legal representation wait at least 12 hours to turn himself in?"

Hmmm.... how long does it take to get cocaine or meth out of one's system??

Wait, I think it's 12 hours.

And, why exactly did they go anywhere from Clive Davis's? What were they doing driving around in a car??

Let's see... that's where people do...crack! cocaine! meth!

Rihanna went to the hospital, where if she were high on drugs, we'd all know about it. Chris went home to detox. My opinion.

I've seen the blame Rihanna stuff too.

People suck. Drug denial is rampant. Heroin is back.

...sigh... I'll stop now.
Liz Dwyer said…
I thought the SAME things. People were wondering why they were in Hancock Park and I totally thought that someone was either driving around using or on their way to hunt for drugs. Sigh. I'm just glad she's cooperating with police, from what I hear.
DJ Black Adam said…

I'm just saying...seems obvious to me lol
Anonymous said…
check dis ..... i like rhianna and chris breezy too. But u is correctu aint sposed too hit a gurl but at da same time u should tell a manif uhave any diseases because that i ur fault so i think its riris fault cuz she aint tell him if ushe had sumthin and he aint have a right to hit her


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