Get A Room!

Dear Couple Sitting Across From Us At The Restaurant Tonight,

How's your Sunday night going? It's been a few hours since you were sitting next to my family's table, but I can't get you two out of my mind. You see, I don't go out to dinner that much, especially not with my kids, but tonight was a special occasion so the whole crew came along.

I'll admit, at first I was all, "Aww, isn't that cute! Those two wanna sit next to each other in the restaurant booth! How romantic!" But you all took the Public Display of Affection thing to the next level.

You see, when I go to dinner, the only things I want to see going in and out of someone's mouth are forks and spoons. Not tongues.

I would have said, "Get a room!" except I know it's a tough economy and you may not have the funds for that. In that case, maybe you can sit out in your car and nibble on each other's ears? Then again, you don't have to chew on ears if you don't like the food! Just ask the waiter for something else to eat!

Whatever your reason for the PDA, it wasn't cute. Next time, keep the face sucking and ear nibbling private.

Yours With A Lost Appetite,

Los Angelista


Anonymous said…
I agree. A few romantic kisses are one thing, all-out physical engagement is quite another. Perhaps you could have asked the servers to have a discreet word with them about their behaviour? Did they tackle their food with the same wild enthusiasm?
Liz Dwyer said…
You know, the guy was eating a lot but the girl was not really bothering with her salad. I once rode to the top of the Sears Tower with a PDA couple. They were making out in a packed elevator and no one said anything! I don't know why I didn't even think of asking the server to talk to them. Maybe because I'm used to seeing all sorts of crazy things here in this city!
sippinwineman said…
Come on!! lol Your name's Los Angelista, NOT LosA

You were young once. But, I wasn't there. were they using their hands? Reaching for body parts?

I had a girlfriend who opened my mind and heart to PDA. We would go at in the (I believe) beautiful and passionate Paris in the 1950-60s. Damn, I wish I had a picture
Anonymous said…
Los Angelista,
At least you couldn't see what was happening under the table!
Liz Dwyer said…
Young once??? I'm STILL young! Haha! But alas, I have NEVER been a PDA person. Maybe Paris would turn me into one! :)

Oh wow, you are SO right! I should probably be grateful for that! And I'm grateful that my kids were clueless because my older son would've asked me about that pair from now till infinity and the little one would've surely become quite vocal and launched into one of his extremely loud, "LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE KISSING!" speeches!
Jameil said…
ugh! that is ridiculous!!
Liz Dwyer said…
You know I was sitting there thinking, "I'm gonna go home and write about y'all's trifling selves when I get home!"
Anonymous said…
I'mwith you. I don'tmind seeing a brief kiss (even with tongue) when I'm out nand about but not in a restaurant and not when I'm a forced audience.
Sundry said…
Throw bread. It's my best advice.
Liz Dwyer said…
Yeah, if it had been a brief kiss, I probably still would've been all, "Aren't they romantic?" but they crossed the line into totally gross territory!"

LOL! I will remember that if there's a next time. (Let's hope there's not a next time for awhile!)

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