The Bay While Black
45 minutes into our drive north to San Francisco, my eldest began asking that most dreaded of questions: Are we there yet?
The answer was no, so his little brother began saying, "That's why I don't do long car rides." Yeah, I have a little diva on my hands.
I did my best to make the time fly by turning into one of those Insterstate 5 drivers who scared me to death my first time I drove to San Francisco, but we made it there in one piece. And it is, as always, utterly romantic and lovely here. It's also really freakin' cold. So cold that we decided to skip walking to Chinatown and instead catch a cab there.
Up till that point, I'd been having a great time... the kids LOVE San Fransco, our hotel is perfect... but, hours later, I'm still thinking about how that's when it all changed. You see, we had a little incident that I'll refer to as "Catching a Cab While Black."
I broke it down on my Twitter feed:
1) Note to self: Since you're black, only try to catch cabs at your hotel because then they HAVE to pick you up.
2) Cabbies flash their lights @ you & your kids & then stop for white folks just past you. Son asked, "Why won't those cabs pick us up?"
3) And so what do I tell my son? "Hey son, those cabbies don't want to pick you up because you're black?"
4) How about, "Son, they're not scared of you... yet. They're actually scared of your daddy because um, his black skin is sooo threatening."
I'm still upset about the whole thing... especially at the insidious psychological residue that racism leaves behind. I shouldn't have to ask myself, "Is it racism or are all these cabbies really that nasty? I know people like to think that black folks just want to cry "racism" first chance they get, but trust me, it's not true!
What is the correct response and how would you explain such a thing to your own kids?
45 minutes into our drive north to San Francisco, my eldest began asking that most dreaded of questions: Are we there yet?The answer was no, so his little brother began saying, "That's why I don't do long car rides." Yeah, I have a little diva on my hands.
I did my best to make the time fly by turning into one of those Insterstate 5 drivers who scared me to death my first time I drove to San Francisco, but we made it there in one piece. And it is, as always, utterly romantic and lovely here. It's also really freakin' cold. So cold that we decided to skip walking to Chinatown and instead catch a cab there.
Up till that point, I'd been having a great time... the kids LOVE San Fransco, our hotel is perfect... but, hours later, I'm still thinking about how that's when it all changed. You see, we had a little incident that I'll refer to as "Catching a Cab While Black."
I broke it down on my Twitter feed:
1) Note to self: Since you're black, only try to catch cabs at your hotel because then they HAVE to pick you up.
2) Cabbies flash their lights @ you & your kids & then stop for white folks just past you. Son asked, "Why won't those cabs pick us up?"
3) And so what do I tell my son? "Hey son, those cabbies don't want to pick you up because you're black?"
4) How about, "Son, they're not scared of you... yet. They're actually scared of your daddy because um, his black skin is sooo threatening."
I'm still upset about the whole thing... especially at the insidious psychological residue that racism leaves behind. I shouldn't have to ask myself, "Is it racism or are all these cabbies really that nasty? I know people like to think that black folks just want to cry "racism" first chance they get, but trust me, it's not true!
What is the correct response and how would you explain such a thing to your own kids?
Comments
It's a shame it took some of the pleasure out of your trip to San Fran.
If you can call one and get the driver's contact info that should help.
I just re-read my post and it sounded a little harsh but I'm not going to take back what I said. I've had this happen to me far too often now and I'm sick of it.
If you get the cab# don't call the cab company contact SF Taxi Commission. They have to get a license and pass a test so they have to be held accountable for their actions.
That's the sort of thing people don't believe actually happens, but it does!
Nick,
It took some of the pleasure out, momentarily, but before I knew it, it was back! SO pretty up here.
Mark,
Such a good point. It's so easy to not explain the disease part of this, because that's exactly what it is.
Noel,
You mean no giving the finger to the cab? :) Yes, you definitely deserve a crown after that response.
Jameil,
No parent should have to deal with that. Not at all!
Everybody,
I'm about to fall asleep... I gotta close my eyes before I fall orver. I will respond tomorrow! ;)
Our flight got cancelled 10pm at night. A cab took all the white people back to their respective hotels, leaving all the black folk to fend for themselves at the gate. American Airlines did not even want to comp us for an extra night. It got ugly, but after several calls, we were able to reach the brother who shuttled us from our hotel. He came to the airport, and we were given our rooms back. It took coming home to Chicago and raising hell before we were comped.
I was so mad I was a bit too honest. Now at 13, he's a little too Tupacian for my taste. I wish there was a right answer...Nick commented, "It's a shame it took some of the pleasure out of your trip to San Fran" but unfortunately, we run the risk just waking up!
Poor babies...never know when that beast will rear its ugly head...
Members of any minority always wonder if that is the reason they're treated badly, and sadly, it usually is.
All we can do as parents is to tell our children the truth, that some people are scared of anyone they perceive as different from themselves, and until this changes we are all missing out on the full richness of life because we can only learn and grow from contact with those from other cultures.
I'm sorry such nastiness marred your visit to this physically beautiful (albeit chilly) city, Liz.