The Los Angelista High, Low Experience

One of my least favorite things in the world is the ice breaker game "High and Low". You know-- you gotta tell one high and one low from your life so you all feel more "close" before just jumping into the meat of the meeting. EXCEPT that people start strategically making fake highs and lows to sound more fabulous to the boss.

For example: "My high is that I... well, I got to help Los Angelista with her work because she didn't understand what to do. It just makes me feel so good to help a colleague."

Whew... flashbacks! Anyway, now that I don't have to do competitive, office-politicky highs and lows, here's some real ones for your pleasure:

High: President Obama was in Los Angeles! My Angeleno brethren made me proud with their intelligent questions.

Low: I did not get a ticket to his town hall but maybe this should actually be a high since I might have sat there and either cried or else yelled, 'You are THE MAN... and you're HOT!"

High: A friend sent me a text, excited that Obama's plane/helicopters were flying overhead.

Low: I couldn't hear the planes because I was stuck in a meeting at my son's school.

High: Jon Stewart needs a medal for how funny his version of "Interview With a Vampire" is!
The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Interview With a Vampire
Daily Show Full EpisodesImportant Things w/ Demetri MartinPolitical Humor

Low: I can laugh at Interview With a Vampire but then it's sort of not funny when I really think about it.

Low: I really do think folks care more about Octomom than the political and financial corruption on such blatant display around us.

High: I checked out the neighborhoods of friends I miss on Google Street View.

Low: I checked out the neighborhoods of friends I miss on Google Street View.

High: I still LOVE my new Chevy Malibu.

Low: My husband backed into a wall and scratched the right bumper.

High: I only have one more day of the Baha'i Fast... and Baha'i New Year begins at sunset on Friday!

Low: I thought I could be sick with the flu for two weeks, then fast for three weeks and then run the Pasadena marathon a day after the Baha'i Fast ends. HA!

High: It's a good thing to realize how delusional and unrealistic I can be sometimes.

Low: I am not Ironman, er, Ironwoman or Superwoman.

Low: I have been doing some things lately that are completely out of character. Am I having an early midlife crisis?

High: I made a split second decision to go to San Francisco this weekend!

Low: It's supposed to rain. I don't have a functioning umbrella.

High: While I'm there, I'm going to see one of my best friends in the world. I haven't seen her in SEVEN years.

Low: I'll be taking the 5 upstate. Folks drive like psychos on it so I must also drive like a psycho.

High: It's my kids first trip to San Francisco.

Low: My kids will be in the backseat asking, "Are we there yet?"

High: My second grader is learning cursive and he's so excited about it. I love that his teacher is introducing it already instead of waiting till 3rd grade.

Low: My saucy kindergarten boy told his teacher to, "Put a sock in it!"

High: His super nice teacher wasn't mad.

Low: I was HOT! I had some serious words with that boy after school. I made him cry. I do NOT play that.

High: I bought a new digital camera. It has a Leica lens. Sweet!

Low: I bought it on-line so it won't be here till next Tuesday.

Low: I bought a new one because the other one got murdered and only half functions now.

Low: I'll be taking the old, half dead camera to San Francisco.

High: There was NO line at the express checkout at my Von's grocery store and the cashier recognized me and greeted me by name! Wow... and it only took 10 years for that to happen!

Low: In the Von's parking lot, I witnessed a woman swearing at and slapping a girl I assume to be her daughter.

Low: Their parking space was right next to mine. She saw me looking at her and yelled, "What u looking at beeyotch?"

Low: I got in my car and drove home. I'm still thinking about that girl getting slapped like that. Hell, I was scared of her mom, too.

Low: I had a moment where I thought, "Black folks, why are we still whooping on our kids in public?"

High: I remembered that we're not the only ones that act crazy in public. The white folks at Trader Joe's engage in parking lot rage with their Volkswagens and run each other over.

High: Writing these feels SO much better than the fake highs and lows from a past life.

High: Heck, this was therapeutic! I should pay myself money for this session!


Anonymous said…
It's amazing how many people have no inhibitions about acting crazy in public nowadays. They'll say and do absolutely anything, with no shame whatever. When I was a kid, people would have died rather than scream at each other in a parking lot. Not sure if that's an advance or a step backwards....
Anonymous said…
ooh, have FUN! I've only been to SF once, back in 1985...
Jennifer said…
This was fun to read! Being a teacher, I can only imagine the context of the "put a sock in it" comment, good job taking care of it. And have fun in San Francisco!
Dena said…
have a great time in sf! i miss it there. make sure you have a gordo's will have died and gone to heaven. trust me!
Ms Angela said…
It's too bad I have too much to do this weekend; I would make the trip I-80 West to SF to say hi! But I have recovery mtgs, Ruhi Book 5 intensive, end of Fast, Naw Ruz/Feast of Splendor, my daughter and grandson coming out, my sister's birthday...well, anyway! But let me know the next time you come up this way! I'd love to meet you and your adorable sons in person!

And about black folks whooping their kids in public--it's probably worse in private. My new resolution is to stop enabling people who do it. Corporal punishment ULTIMATELY harms all of us because children who grow up with violence (and spanking IS violence) have serious behavioral issues as adults, even if they aren't violent themselves.

I'm a good example. I'm not violent towards others (unless they do something to my kids or grandson), but I'm extremely brutal toward myself. That's not O.K., as I am slowly learning. We are all beloved children of God.

My youngest daughter is a preschool teacher, and she has seen what spanking does to little ones far too often. Parents need to be educated. And the wake up call just might be that anonymous report to Child Protective Services from the parking lot. Yes, I will snitch on someone. I'm not fond of foster care at all, but the parents have the opportunity to take parenting classes in order to get their family back together. Hopefully, this might give them a clue.

Parents don't OWN their children, and it isn't their inherent right "raise them any kind of way they want to". Those children do grow up and have to live the world. The question is, what kind of adults will those formerly abused children going to be?
Lisa Johnson said…
That video was hilarious- and yes sad too. Reminds me why I couldn't watch the movie "W." I kept getting so furious that I couldn't finish it.

And never heard of the "High + Low" game. That sounds like it could be fun or go horribly wrong.

I hope your doing well on your fast. Only a few more hours to go. Happy New Year!
1969 said…

Your saucy one sounds like my saucy one.

Have a great time in San Fran!
C... said…
Your high low list made me laugh - especially the woman slapping her daughter.
I can't believe your going to San Francisco and didn't tell me!!! Where are you staying? And do you need any recommendations? You ahve to take the boys to Yerba Buena Gardens and drive over to Sausalito.
Shiona said…
Therapeutic for you. Fun to read for us. It's a win win situation. I've heard that San Francisco is great but the I-5 that's another story. Hope you have a fun and safe trip.

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