I "Heart" Boobies

I got home from the Women's Conference around 9:30 last night and my six year-old son, T, was waiting for me.

"Wanna see what I found today?" he asked as he dug in his pants pocket.

It's been so windy in LA over the past 24 hours that I couldn't begin to imagine what he might have found, but of course I wanted to see. What self-respecting mother wouldn't want to see what their child's dragged home?

He pulled a small black object out of his pocket and held it up in front of my face.

"Look, it's a guitar pick," he said before picking up one of his two guitars and strumming it with the pick. "See, it works on my guitars."

He played me a quick song and then set the guitar down. "But it has writing on it. What does it say?

How could I possibly tell my son that it says, "I love boobies?"

Fortunately I was spared having to tell him by his changing his mind and deciding to sound it out on his own. And so since then I've been subjected to his efforts to phonetically sound out the text on this guitar pick.

Earlier tonight he nailed "keep a breast" perfectly but the boobies? By the time he went to bed, he'd worked up to, "I love bob-i-es."

"Bob-i-es" made me laugh so hard the poor child was staring at me like I was nuts. But he's clearly not giving up till he figures it out. So now that he's sleeping, I'm gonna rifle through his stuff and see if I can find where he's stashed the "I love boobies" guitar pick. Otherwise Mr. Smart Phonics Reading Child is going to figure out that the word is boobies -- and then yours truly is going to have to answer the inevitable question, "Mommy, what are boobies?"

I don't feel like answering that question this week. Maybe next week. Or next year. Or in 10 years. But not this week! I'm taking that guitar pick and letting it blow away in the wind. My son will just have to go through his days believing that someone loves some bob-i-es!


nick said…
Well of course everyone knows a booby is a foolish or ignorant person. And the odd bit of foolishness can be very lovable. Why, what else could it mean?
Jameil said…
lol @ maybe next year or in 10. lolololol. you're a hater, mom! it's the new breast cancer slogan! you SURE you don't want your child going along repeating it & playing his guitar w/it? lolololol
Daniel said…
Los Angilista,
Do you remember Conan O’Brien doing the “boooo…beee” thing? My oldest cracked up over that (and drove me crazy saying it for, like, 2 months straight).
I can attest to the fact that, as a fairly (but barely) typical hetero male … I like Boobies too! (Just none in my life right now …)

But not as much as I like Butts … and …. You just Know I gotta do this …

(Thanks Sir Mix-A-Lot) … and I like ‘em big and brown and round …”Even a whiteboy gotta shout”

I know, I know, I’m a fool. My kids remind me enough of that fact
Dena said…
it's never a dull moment at the dwyer-bolden household! give those sweet boys of yours hugs from me :)
Miz JJ said…
I love this post. Pics and stories of your boys make me want some kids.
ROFLOL...my daughter knows what breasts and boobies are...thank god she wasn't around when he was trying to sound it out!!! LOL
Liz Dwyer said…
Yes, that's what I'll tell him -- but I'll have to figure out what to say when he asks why somebody would love that! LOL

Yeah, just wait till he starts repeating it at school. What am I gonna say? "It's a breast cancer slogan. Don't give him detention!"

Oh Sir Mix-a-Lot! HA! Little did we know that almost a generation later everybody would be running out to get butt injections to make them big & round.

I've only watched Conan like twice in my life so I missed that one. I remember how my kids went thru a phase where they'd say "Kobe" all the time just to drive me nuts because they knew I couldn't STAND him! Three months of that and more gray hairs on my head.

Absolutely never ever dull around this way. Hugs will definitely be given!

Miz JJ,
They sometimes make me want to have MORE kids but then I remember being preggers and maternity clothes and diapers... ;)

Brown English Muffin,
My eight year old knows what boobies are so I thought it was VERY interesting that he refused to help his little brother sound it out and said not a word!
Lisa Blah Blah said…
I bet your oldest will tell him later!

My policy always is I'd rather they hear it from me, so if something questionable comes up I always explain what the word means and if applicable that it's not polite to use it. He'll find out sooner or later, though, whatever tactic you take! Oh, these kids...
Anonymous said…
On the other hand, I'd say just let it go. I absolutely guarantee he'll figure it out and if he's a red-blooded boy his enchantment will never go away.
Liz Dwyer said…
I told him after school today because I just could NOT stop laughing over the bob-i-es pronunciation and his response was, "So this is a guitar pick for babies?" -- Because in his world, ALL babies like boobies! Ha!

It completely went over his head after I told him. Now he thinks it's a guitar pick made for babies. His confusion is making me laugh even harder!
sippinwineman said…
I KNOW this is wrong, but. . ."only in L.A."
Liz Dwyer said…
Indeed, indeed!
I thought I'd seen all the guitar picks out there, but missed this one.

You could have told T to throw it away because it was found on the street and you don't know where it's been. But he'll probably lose interest in anything "for babies" since he is such a big boy now!
Sundry said…
They're birds! National Geo says so! http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/blue-footed-booby.html

Well, I went to the Keep a Breast site, and and least it's all about breast cancer awareness. With, yeah, an edge.

Ah, parenting!

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