14 Things I Observed On Today's 14 Mile Run

Now that I'm recovered from this morning's 14 mile run (massage, ice bath and nap!) I've been reflecting on some of the things I observed while trekking through Santa Monica, Venice and Marina del Rey.

1) All people walking out of Shutters on the Beach look PAID. All of them. Even their dogs look paid.

2) Some men will try to mack anytime, anyplace:
I already knew this but somewhere between mile two and three of today's 14 mile run, this was reconfirmed for me. One of the denizens of the Venice Beach Boardwalk decided he was gonna holler at me. Really, homie, you've been sitting out here for who knows HOW long, smoking some bud and I'm supposed to check for you? Why is it so hard to see I'm busy and not interested in your disgusting, trifling, smelling like sea foam behind?

3) Some men think it's OK to call you outta your name: Because I did not stop, instantly strip my clothes off for this fool, and beg him to ravish me, he called me a bitch! -- Well guess what? THIS bitch ran 14 miles this morning. How ya like me now?

4) Some men don't need to run or speed walk with their shirts off: I would prefer to NOT see sweat dripping off your man boobs.

5) Some women like to walk along the Venice Beach Boardwalk in stilettos: And very short skirts. And low cut tops that show off their many tattoos. Without wearing a bra. Or underwear. And they like to bend over to give us a view of what's under the skirt. (No, the view was not fur free.)

6) Some women and men like to run in booty shorts: What is going on with the super short track-short phenomenon?

7) Some people give off such a powerful funk, you can smell them when you run by them: Like, knock you back off your stride powerful funk. Is it because they're wearing dirty workout gear? Do I need to carry some Febreze with me for these folks?

8) Some people like to walk along the Boardwalk in their bare feet. And they aren't even homeless and lacking footwear. If you can afford an iPhone you have no business walking along the Venice Boardwalk with no shoes. I'm sorry, but that's just nasty! I guess they either don't care or are unaware that folks vomit and urinate all over the sidewalk out there, not to mention dogs and garbage... EWW! If you are one of these people down with the no shoes party, take your behind to Payless and buy some FLIP FLOPS!

9) Some runners don't want to smoke while they're running: I'm one of them. For real, what kind of lack of critical thinking makes someone offer a runner a cigarette? Even if I did smoke, the last thing I'd want when I'm on mile 11 and feeling like I'm gonna die is a cigarette.

10) Some runners are snobby: They run by you saying things like, "Ugh, I just hate it when there's all these fat wannabe runners out here on Saturdays," or, "Yeah, these people aren't really runners. Look at 'em. They're talking WALK BREAKS!"

11) Some runners are WAY too competitive: Why do you care how long it took me to run the 14 miles? Is it just so you can tell me how short of a time it took you? I have a painfully aching back and my left heel has been killing me. You should just be glad I finished and wasn't carried away on a stretcher.

12) Some skateboarders are cooler than others: Namely, all the female skateboarders. Hands down, seeing a young black teenage girl flying down the hill that leads to the Santa Monica pier, body tilted just so, locs flying in the breeze... someone needs to find her and put her in a video!

13) Some songs make me feel like I'm dancing instead of running: Thank you, Kurd Maverick and Kevin Sunray for making this remix. It got me through a rough patch in mile 12 and enabled me to tune out all the craziness that is running through Santa Monica, Venice and Marina del Rey on a Saturday.

14) Some distances really aren't all THAT far: What's 14 miles? That's not that far! I'm lying, yes it is. It's far. I ran OVER a half marathon distance today. I rock the house. But next week is a measly seven miles. Less time to observe the insanity that is Santa Monica, Venice and Marina del Rey along the beach!


Lisa..... said…
Wow, I ran 3.2 miles and was pretty happy. 14? That's far.
mamapigeon said…
You are my inspiration to get off my butt and run like my life depended on it!!!!
Unknown said…
YAY!!!!! WooHoo! and thanks for making me laugh {as usual}!
nick said…
Looks like you could do with a lot more of the cool skateboarders and a lot less of the unpleasant, abusive and indecent locals! Yeh, good for you taking serious exercise, keeping healthy and not living in couch-potato land.
D- said…
I really like your running accounts. It must especially be amazing to run by the beach :)
Remnants of U said…
I was so proud of myself that I walked my dog...just over 2 miles. And you ran 12 more miles than that. Whew! I'm tired and out of breath just thinking about it.

What an accomplishment.
sippinwineman said…
People-watching should be an Olympic sport. Macking on top of that is just extra-curricular.

offering joggers cigarettes is a way to mess with peoples minds. Imagine going to an AA meeting and saying, "Who wants a drink? I'm buying!".

@ the Competitive and the 'Oh-not-that-far-ers' People can be butts. I ride my bike (bicycle) roughly 26 miles just about every weekend and I've been made to feel like crap because I haven't shortened my time or lengthened my distance.

I've seen folks wearing those shorts, like, forever. On the East Coast. I thought they'd been the norm on the West. esp. SoCal.

Great Post.
You're such an inspiration to me! Thanks for sharing this! :) I should post one soon - although I don't know about the 14 mile thing. I'm hoping for 7 today.
Liz Dwyer said…
Good for you! 3.2 is nothing to sneeze at! A 5K is 3.1 so rock on! :)

I hope you never have to literally run for you life... but on the other hand having a healthy life does depend on keeping it moving! :)

Sometimes I'm amazed by all the strange things I see here in this city - it really does crack me up!

I looove the cool skateboarders. They make everything feel SO California. And with the way health care is in this country, I have to take exercise seriously or else I'm at the mercy of an insurance company!

Glad you like the running accounts. Maybe I should write about it every Saturday. It is VERy relaxing and freeing to run by the beach,, even with the weirdos!

You should be VERY proud of yourself. Every little bit is better than nothing! Always a good thing to do something!

People-watching is definitely an Olympic sport, especially when you're in the Venice area. -- I just don't understand the shorts. I tried once and they are NOT comfy to run in. Good for you on the 26 miles. It doesn't always have to be harder and faster.

You have it in you to get to 14 one day, I have no doubt! You have the physical ability, for sure. :)
1969 said…
You go Liz and I adore you for finding all my favorite House hits.

Let's Work it to the Bone!!
Liz Dwyer said…
LOL, my clubbing days are over so I have no choice but pretend I'm still working it while I'm running! ;)
Tami said…
Re: number 10...

Really? Someone actually DID that? I am floored, though I probably shouldn't be.
Liz Dwyer said…
Yes they did! I kept hoping one of their shoe laces would untie as they passed me, and then they'd trip, but no such luck.

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