Trader Joe's on Thanksgiving

I'm at the point in my Los Angeles existence where I'm not surprised when I get cussed out in the Trader Joe's parking lot. Indeed, being verbally assaulted, or almost run over, is par for the course at Trader Joes, especially if the swearing hipster has a "Let's Give Peace a Chance" bumper sticker on the back of her Passat.

You know how it goes, the person cusses you out because you're trying to walk across the parking lot to the store entrance. That means they can't zoom into a parking spot and then someone else steals the spot... so they yell out the window at you, "Walk faster, you f******* b****!"

Yeah, that sort of thing.

How could the driver possibly understand that I was feeling fly this afternoon? I had on my red coat and dark wash skinny jeans tucked into my black boots! Yes, I was workin' it a little more than usual while walking from my car, but honey, the hotness was justifying it.

I mean, it's the day before Thanksgiving! I have my health, my family, a safe place to live, clean drinking water, money to buy food and some fly black boots. I haven't lost anyone in Mumbai, India. I am HIV negative...

Really, Miss Passat is mad, why? Because I'm walking too slowly across a parking lot?

A part of me wished I could grab a jar of vaseline out of my bag and smear up my cheeks. She made me want to hand my earrings to the tatted-up guy standing outside, yapping on his cell phone and puffing on a cancer stick.

Of course, I didn't. Instead I went ahead and went inside to buy the fizzy pink lemonade I'd forgotten to buy when I was there on Saturday. It's gonna go great with tomorrow's big dinner.

Speaking of which, my seven year-old son just came up and said, "Tomorrow is the day we celebrate the Pilgrims betraying the friendship of the Native Americans and then massacring them, right?"

He just leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me he loves me. See, that's what keeps me from acting a fool in public!


Anonymous said…
Son's version of Thanksgiving is priceless. I wish I'd had that version of history when I was at school and not the glorifying-ole-whitey one.

Bawled out for walking too slowly across the car park? That woman must be under some serious stress. Loosen up, Miss P, before your heart shrivels.
At least your kids know what the deal is! People can be so selfish, but you don't brushed it off. Kudos.

By the way have you heard the new Hillary Duff song sampling Personal Jesus VERY liberally? It should've been a mash-up and I know Martin got phat paid for it. Somehow I'm not as offended by it as I thought I'd be. Music is sooo crappy that even a sample of a great song from (almost) 20 years ago (holy crap I'm OLD!) is better than most of the so-called original stuff being put out.
Toni Campbell said…
as a professional pedestrian, i am well aware of the animosity that some drivers have. i mean really, i am walking in the cold, windy, rain juggling my purse, groceries, and an umbrella and i am inconveniencing you in your warm, safe car barreling through a parking lot like its the auto bahn? please! sometimes i place my hands out and rake my fingers down the side of their car, so they think i am keying it!
1969 said…
Your son is just like you! LOL I love it.

Skinny jeans? You are officially my idol.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
You were very zen.

That women was out of line.

Your son is awesome. ha
Mango Mama said…
Girl, I think you just had a WWBD moment. That's right, What Would Obama Do? You just sashayed your fine self right on by like you owned the world--- cause you do!
Liz Dwyer said…
I'd like to think it was a special sort of stress but folks act like that in the parking lot at Trader Joe's ALL the time.

We have two different versions of history going on in my house too. The five year-old came home wearing a Pilgrim hat he made in school and the seven year-old was trying to school him. It didn't go over very well. They have two very different approaches to history, that's for sure.

I figure I can't take other folk's issues seriously... at least till they try to run me over! :)

I have heard that song! Yes, Mart probably really got paid off of it! I'm not offended either. If it was Britney Spears, I would be, but not Hillary Duff. Why is that?

The sad thing is that here in Cali, pedestrians really are supposed to have the right of way. Someone got killed at this Trader Joe's because they got hit by a car. It's a shame folks think that a parking spot is more important.

Now, whether I should have on the skinny jeans is another story entirely! To some, my skinny jeans would staight up be the fat jeans!

She was so over the yop and out of line that I could do nothing but laugh! My boy is awesome though. Such a good heart

LOL, yeah, if he can still consider HRC for Sec. of State after her antics, I can rise above this person showing out in the Trader Joe's parking lot!
Jen said…
Your son is totally awesome.

I think he'd get along with C, btw... that's completely something C would say.

That woman needs to chill.

Congrats on feeling hot! That's always a good thing.
Miriam said…
Your hotness!

lolol you are too funny!
Liz Dwyer said…
Feeling hot was short lived! I'm back to feeling just blah today. And doesn't that woman need to chill? See, folks act when they think they can get away with it? Our kids are so much smarter and with it than we ever were. I can't wait to see what sorts of stuff they say/do when they're older.

When you feel it, you feel it! I gotta get some of that back today though! ;)
Shiona said…
Man people get crazy this time of year... Way to take it in stride. The irony of that sticker is priceless.
April said…
Glad you didn't let the bad 'tude get you down!

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