Ten Questions

It's been a long week and I'm feeling grateful to get to Friday. It's such a luxuriously slow night that I'm thinking about all the random things I've wondered about this week. I can't help but wonder:

1) Why oh why did The View hire Sheri Shepard and her wig collection?


2) Whatever happened to that Runaway Bride girl? Remember her, the bug-eyed one?


4) Why are 70% of black women single?

5) How come I'm not independently wealthy and living in a villa in the south of France?


6) Why do people still try to say Barack Obama is a Muslim? And if it turned out he was a Muslim, do you think most of those who are his supporters would still be in his camp?


7) Today I was really grateful for that "free" Rolling Stone subscription. How does Johnny Depp stay so ridiculously hot?

8) Why oh why is there going to be a Flavor of Love Three?
9) Why do I think all the other nations in the world are going to form a conspiracy, call in all the US debt all at once, and humble us for real?


10) How in the world did Christina Aguilera and Nicole Ritchie both have babies today? It just doesn't seem like Christina has been pregnant that long, and now that Nicole has had the baby, will she go back to looking skeletal?Yes, it's that kind of night. But if you have the answers to these or any other profoundly important questions, please let me know.

Comments

These are very important questions.

I just asked in a post the other day about Flavor of Love 3. Perhaps Flav is trying to help bring down that 70% number.
Anonymous said…
The answer to number five is easy, Liz - capitalism. The rich make very sure they stay rich, and get richer, so the hard-working masses like you and me get no more than the averagely comfortable lifestyle we've sweated and laboured to achieve. And how do you get rich? Only by being vicious and ruthless enough to winkle vast quantities of cash out of people who're badly off to begin with.
Jen said…
I keep asking about number 5, too, but I might be more partial to Italy or Portugal...

Great list. ;-)

BTW... can I talk you into joining our Writing Game? I'd LOVE to have you!
Sundry said…
1) Why oh why did The View hire Sheri Shepard and her wig collection?

Answer: To make Elizabeth Hasslebeck look smart.
Jameil said…
helloooooo johnny!!! i was seriously PRAYING they wouldn't hire Sheri Shepard. i don't like her at all. AT ALL!!
Lola Gets said…
Here we go...
DAYUM Sundry, you got that one right, I HATE that chick, and I dont even watch the View.

And, dude, I dont even know why Im single. Thats probably why Im single.

L
none said…
The reason people are concerned about Obama is because he refuses to discuss the muslim schooling he recieved while under the care of his father. In both of his books he has not mentioned one word about his muslim upbringing.

Also the fact that Obama refuses to hold his hand over his heart during the national anthem and pledge of allegience.

Obama says it's divisive...
Anonymous said…
I not only wonder why Sheri was hired, but why she took the job in the first place. Especially, with a baby home in Los Angeles. She claims it's to give him a better life. Since when did money become a substitute for being home to hold a precious baby in your arms?

My cousin will be turning 40 this year. She is unmarried and has no children. She'd rather be alone than deal with some knuckle head who is looking for a second income to help pay his child support.

Now, I was just laying in the bed trying to find the answers to $5. I mean #5.

I was sitting in California Pizza Kitchen minding my own business, reading Audacity of Hope a few months ago, when some woman yelled from another table "Is he (Barak) Muslim?" Needless to say, I was a bit irritated.

I almost threw something at the television when I saw that Flavor of Love will once again return to reinforce stereotypes.
the joy said…
Sheri Shepard is the wack. She makes my head hurt. How do you read a bible and not know Rome was BC?

Oh flav. You break my heart.

This lady told me she wouldn't vote for Obama because his name sounds middle eastern. I think, um, it is. And she's an idiot.
Unknown said…
Liz, I am hopelessly out of touch with everything in our culture, but thank God I have your blog to read so I can at least get some sense of what people are talking about these days! About Sheri Shepard--my sister says that she stated on "The View" that Jesus was present during the beginning of time and during Adam and Eve's run through the garden of Eden, and that she didn't know that BC meant Before Christ even though she has read her Bible! Did she REALLY say those things??? She can't be THAT dim! That's just...unbelievable!
Liz Dwyer said…
NYC/CR,
LOL! Or trying to increase it because I seriously don't get who'd want to date or marry those women knowing they've kissed (or more) with Flav. Eww!

Nick,
The wage discrepancies between the so-called "thinkers" and "doers" is ridiculous in our modern world. I guess I've just read too many novels and want some great-great uncle I've never met to appear and leave me his villa!

Jen,
Italy is do-able! I caught "Under the Tuscan Sun" on TV the other day and although I give the movie mixed reviews, it sure is pretty.

Tell me more about the Writing Game. Sounds cool.

Sundry,
You are my heroine! Truer words never spoken!

Jameil,
I just wish she'd have a vision where she thinks Jesus speaks to her and tells her to quit the show because my goodness, I can't STAND her! They're all rather annoying, but she's the worst!

Lola Gets,
Every time I watch The View, Sheri is sooo annoying, and Whoopi just has this, "Are you serious?" look on her face.

And singlehood...I know so many women who are single are single and don't know why because they don't want to be.

Hammer,
Such a lightning rod issue, isn't it? There's a really good article by factcheck. org in Newsweek that addresses ALL of this stuff -- there's a couple of chain emails circulating and I got one recently. You should check it out --I know I found it really informative. It includes how his schooling was public, not religious, etc., and how he does hold his hand over his heard during the Pledge but that there's footage of him not doing it during the National Anthem, which is actually okay since it's not a legal requirement, but is instead a recommendation. So if someone doens't during that, it's apparently okay.

The Fashionista,
Will $5 even buy a latte in France given the awful state of the Dollar?

And Sheri left her baby in LA? I did not know that! Wow...I know a lot of celebrities do that, but I think it's wack.

I hear you about your cousin not wanting to go through the knuckle head drama because being married to one takes years off folk's lives.

The Joy,
Maybe we'll find out that like Tila Tequila, Flav is going to have a little twist to his show? I mean, what else can they do for ratings? We've already seen this mess TWICE!
Then again, folks do still watch "The Bachelor".

And for real, what nation-state does Sheri think Pontius Pilate was a part of? Does she think he was from Alabama or something? Sheesh!

Angelfly72,
I am probably too "in touch" with our culture so we balance each other out nicely! :) I would not be at all surprised to hear that Sheri said that about Jesus being present in Genesis. I'd heard about the BC thing. I guess she missed ever taking a history class and having to make a timeline.
bwdb said…
Why won't "Flavor of Love" and other modern day minstrel shows die a quick death?

Many Black women don't realize that "They Deserve Better" , so they remain in an ever shrinking box

Our economy is in trouble...The seams are coming undone


BWDB http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com
DJ Black Adam said…
Barak goes to Trinity United Church of Christ here in Chicago, so I am relatively sure he isn’t a Muslim. If he was, I believe it he would lose a great deal of support. Is it right? No, yet there a candidates that lose support because they are Mormons or even Evangelical Christians, so it is what it is.
DJ Black Adam said…
As for the economy...Well, I intend to move our family to Nova Scotia by the end of the year…
Liz Dwyer said…
CW,
I think FOL and shows like it don't die because we have a voyeuristic culture that is simultaneously fascinated yet repulsed by what we're seeing. We get off on seeing other people do things that we claim we'd never do. Rock of Love was just as bad (maybe worse?) and I watched about 10 minutes of Tila Tequila and felt like I was going to throw up. They're all like watching a bunch of soulless monsters interacting.

It seems like the seams are coming undone on more than just the economy.

DJBA,
Well, the false claim about his church is that it's a black separatist church. Because it seeks to empower black people, it's supposedly exclusionary to other groups. We do have a whole lot of religious prejudice in this country, which is so not in the spirit of any faith.

Are you really going to move to Nova Scotia?
Keith said…
1. If I had more time I'd send hate mail to Sheri Shepard.

5. That would be nice.

6. People don't listen, they're too busy yapping. And no, his campaign wouldn't have made it this far. In fact there would have never been a presidential campaign.

8. People watch it. If I started talking about pimpin' on my blog I'd probably have a TV show by now. Oh wait, Snoop Dogg already has that show.
Liz Dwyer said…
Keith,
That's right, I forgot Snoop has a show! I haven't heard much about it so does this mean it's a flop? Is it supposed to be showing him as some sort of family values type guy? Does he drag his wife around the house with dog chains?

Yeah, Obama wouldn't even be in the Senate if he were Muslim. There'd be no way.
DJ Black Adam said…
Hey Liz:

Well, I have always though that Dr. Wright (pastor of Trinity UCC) focused a bit too much on “Afro centric” (for lack of a better word) geared theology, however; I understand why they have. Separatist is a very extreme and actually false way of describing what they preach and teach there, obviously folks are politically trying to use this as a scare tactic.

And yes, it is my plan to move to Nova Scotia, or at the least, get a summer home there. It all depends on which way a few things (my film, my doctorate studies) go.
Kari Carlson said…
i have no answers. but, boy i am sure glad you posted that rolling stone cover...............
Liz Dwyer said…
DJBA,
From what I know, it doesn't seem like characterizing them as separatist is appropriate either. It's not the approach I would take but, like you, I get it.

Nova Scotia sounds very cool. I bemoaned my family returning to America from Montreal years ago and can't help but wish we'd remained.

Kari,
And I am very glad I have that Rolling Stone cover live and in person on the table right next to my laptop!
Anonymous said…
Hey, I've wondered about the runaway bride, too.
Liz Dwyer said…
Mojan,
I ended up looking her up on wikipedia...life hasn't been so grand for her since her little incident.

And I just realized I left question three off! Technically I only have NINE questions. That's what I get for staying up late at night writing idiotic things like these questions. :)
Unknown said…
i'll play:

1. Because Barbara Walters needs someone around to make her feel superior.

2. I don't care....just glad she didn't try to parlay her I don't want to get married trick into becoming a reality show 'star.'

4. to me, 70% of black women are single Because some have found peace and contentment as single women -- that making a life for yourself can be a major turn on. Others are too burnt out from the dating game and have just opted out. And others like to have lovers whose sole purpose is to provide sex and leave.

5. Your clone has stolen your money and has the villa. You need to find her.

6. Because it's a code word that certain people use to communicate people who are too lazy to acknowledge that being Muslim does not automatically mean terrorist.

7. Have you been in love with Johnny since 21 Jump Street? Or are you a Nightmare on Elm Street girl?
I don't know how he does what he do, he just do!

8. VH1 hates black people a little bit more than BET and voila, you get Flavor of Love Three. Also some Viacom exec plans to send his child to some Ivy League school -- what better way to make the money than showing people acting like fools?

9. That could be a satirical set up for a book or movie. You think this because you have a paranoid mind. Clearly you have been living under Team Bush for far too long.

10. I think they both induced labor. Busy girls when they can't outsource the birthing will schedule the birth in between pedicures, nights out and selling the rights to the baby photos.

How'd I do?
Do I get a cookie?
Anonymous said…
Oh Flavor Flav, when I said, "What the hell happened to you?" I didn't mean for you to make a TV series out of it. Sorry.
Anonymous said…
Oh and Liz, though I am poorer than dirt at the moment, I still check out real estate in the south of France at times. 3 million Euros and it will all be mine!
Liz Dwyer said…
IANSJ,
You definitely get the cookie! I can't remember when I first saw Mr. Depp, but it was love at first sight!

Mark,
I do that as well! I even spend time on a real estate site that specializes in selling old chateaus. One of these days...

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