Los Angelista - iPod = 911

My iPod goes everywhere with me.

I listen to it when I walk, I plug it into an adapter in my car. I plug it in when I'm in the kitchen. I listen to it when I write. I listen to it when I'm sleeping.

Linus has a security blanket. I have an iPod.

Rather, I had an iPod because I lost it this afternoon.

The whys and hows of this disaster are unspeakably horrible. But let's just say that those who know me exceedingly well are aware that when I get too stressed out or have too many things going on at once, I lose things.

However, I've also realized that when I'm feeling stressed, it calms me down to touch things or hold something in my hands. And what do I want to touch? I want to touch things that are comforting to me. My iPod definitely = comforting. But an unfortunate side effect of the stress is that since I'm feeling distracted and not myself, I might drop or momentarily put down the object I'm touching. Without even realizing it.

It usually takes me about five minutes to realize I've done this and so in most cases, whatever I've "lost" is still there when I come back for it.

That was not the case today and now it's gone. I wish it would magically reappear, fall from the sky...something! But that's not going to happen.

Clearly I have been having a moment where my detachment from a material object is being seriously tested. I know an iPod is not an essential object. If I don't have one, I'm not going to die because let's face it, iPods are not the basic needs equivalent of oxygen, water or dental floss.

However, now that I've had a few hours to process this and have calmed down from the crying freak out I experienced earlier, I'm thinking about how this is affecting me on two levels.

Sure I'm dealing with losing my iPod, but there's something more: I'm also feeling the awful guilt of knowing I'm eventually going to have to buy another one.

I have an incredibly hard time spending money and buying things for myself. I have no issues with buying presents for other people, but when it comes to me, I have serious hang-ups. I only bought my iPod because last year a few relatives gave me some money for my birthday. And yes, my birthday's in December but it wasn't until late April that I decided to take the plunge, spend the money and buy the iPod.

But I also know I'm so hooked on my portable music that if I don't get a new iPod, in a few days I might be in a catatonic state. So, I know I'm going to take myself to the Apple Store and drop $200 on a new one. Plus a clear plastic Belkin case for $25.

And I absolutely need to go buy new running shoes this week. I've been putting it off for a month and my knees are really hurting when I run because my running shoes are...well, I can't tell you how old they are. It's too embarrassing.

Oh my goodness, between purchasing the new iPod and new running shoes I will probably be in therapy by the end of the week.


jmb said…
Now who has been telling you that an iPod is not essential? Once you've had one, it's like air or food. You can't live without it.
The one good thing is that you still have the library on the computer so you won't have to rip all those CDs again.
I'm thinking of buying another one because my 6GB mini is full and I will not take any music off and need to add some.
I've never actually seen a red one and red is my favourite colour.

I'm here from Ian Lidster to check out his other awardees.
Liz, I understand!! I feel so strongly about my Red Nano iPod, I wrote a letter a few months ago to it on my blog. My iPod changed my life for the better.

I hope you find it.
Jen said…
I'm totally with NYC on this. I use my iPod ALL the time, to the point where it drives my family crazy, but I really am a music fanatic.

And I can so relate on the spend money for yourself thing. My first iPod was a gift from my mother, who can be the most generous human being on the planet. Then it was stolen. And my DS, who can be the sweetest thing on the planet, saved up to get me a replacement. I don't think I ever cried as much as that day when he showed me what he did.

You're worth it. Forget the therapy.
Mango Mama said…
I understand your pain on so many levels-- first, I, too, am addicted to my ipod and the way I rationalize it is that as a mother of young kids, it offers me a quick retreat to our daily chaos. I've purchased 2 or 3 via Apple's refurbished program with no problem, so this may help you save a few bucks and feel less guilty.

I also have huge hang-ups about spending money on myself. My minds reverts to bills that I need to pay, things the kids may or may not need, and what about that great big whopper of a catastrophe lurking right around the corner? It never ends, but I definitely need to get a handle on it and remember to take care of myself wit the same care and consideration I give others. I urge you to do the same. Be well!
Ian Lidster said…
I gave you a well-deserved award, Liz. Please check out my blog.
Nerd Girl said…
LOL! It has taken me 3 weeks, countless hours and a good self-counsling session to spend a $50 gift certificate I got for Christmas. That's right fifty whole dollars. And it was to a chi-chi store that I never frequent. I had to convince myself not to buy anything for the house, or Lovegirl, or . . . I seriously contemplated selling it for $40.

So, while I'd probably be the last person to take my own advice - go get yourself another iPod! Upgrade, get the same thing, change colors, whatever it takes! For something so small to give so much pleaure, it would be a sin against yourself not to replace it - soon! Rock on!

Oh - and enjoy your new running shoes too!
Keith said…
I don't lose things. My wife may hide something from me in a cleaning rampage, but I never lose anything. I know this is not helpful. I don't even own and iPod. But I hope you find yours.
Jameil said…
don't beat yourself up abt buying for yourself esp. since its essential to your sanity!!! jmb is right. ipods are essential! i can't lie. i have left the gym (i think only once) when I realized I didn't have my ipod. WHAT IS THE POINT AND HOW CAN I WORKOUT W/O ONE!??! i can't. go home. i only use it working out but girl. girl. girl. that's like losing all your cds. PAIN.
Anonymous said…
Wishing I had the courage to commit to an IPod, too many options to choose from and I want it all. I want to listen to podcasts, and audio books and bookmark my place so I can come back and rip songs from CD's I already have cause I have tons of old stuff and plug it into my car radio so I can't commit. None the less I can feel your pain at losing one! I hope you find it or it finds it's way back to you!
Liz Dwyer said…
Glad you came over to visit me from Ian's. I haven't been over yet to see what my award is so I'll be zooming over there in a moment.

Red's my favorite color as well so I was so happy to get a red iPod, and I suppose I'll get another red one as well because they donate $10 to HIV prevention in Africa for it. It seems like they could donate more, but that's just me.

Yes, thank goodness my libary is still on my computer, and backed up twice onto flashdrives and online storage. I have a LOT of downloaded music, much of it is free stuff from various house and trance DJs and I'd hate to lose it all.

I hope I find it as well. It's funny how easy it is to get so attached to such things. I'm going to give it a couple days to see if it reappears. And then if not, I suppose I'm headed to get a new one!

That's horrible that your iPod got stolen! I lost mine so I can only blame myself for it being gone, but I think I'd feel so angry to know that someone would actually steal someone else's music!

That is so sweet of your son to save up like that. What a sweetheart. My eldest son has been working hard to console me. He told me, "Well, you may not have an iPod but you still have me and I love you!" Heart. Melted. 100%.

Mango Mama,
Hi there! Glad you came by for a visit. I'm going to definitely check out the refurbished iPods. That might be a good option for me. I think about the same things you think about when it comes to spending money. It is the fear of some unknown financial catastrophe. I wonder if this is something women are afflicted with more than men? You make a good point though in that I should give myself the same consideration I give others.

I will come by to visit...I am so curious what award you've been generous enough to give me!

Nerd Girl,
I've done that before. Someone gave me a $100 gift certificate to a spa and I kept making every excuse under the sun to not go. And finally when I decided, like a year later that I was going to go, I couldn't even find the gift certificate. Glad you got yourself something nice though.

I do just need to get it because the iPod helps facilitate the running thing. The music keeps me going!

It wasn't till last year that I got on the iPod bandwagon. I'm telling you, once you get one, it's like they have subliminal messaging included in the headphones -- it's so easy to get addicted to it.

I have to be REALLY feeling anxious to lose something and my sister totally called it when she said that I was just having the day from hell. It really was and the iPod was just the icing on the cake. But I wish I could be like you and never lose anything.
Liz Dwyer said…
Isn't that the truth! I've considered leaving the gym too when I've realized I didn't have it. It's such a bummer to be on the elliptical machine...reading an old discarded newspaper instead of pretending I'm dancing in a club. See, responding to all these comments is putting me in the frame of mind to just go get one now!

Hi there! I was a big skeptic but now I'm a convert. I love podcasts, downloading songs from CD is really easy...I even figured out how to convert the audio from my record collection to MP3s and put it onto my iPod because lots of old obscure house music records aren't on a cd or MP3. I bought an adapter so I can listen to the iPod in the car. And so now I'm hooked! :)

I hope it finds it's way back to me too!
SheWhoLives said…
Oh my days I am getting excited - I've ordered my first ever iPod and will have it in a few days... No doubt I will become the most iPod addicted person on the planet. And I can't wait!
Tami said…
I am hyperventilating just thinking of losing my iPod!
Liz Dwyer said…
I can't wait for yours to arrive so you can also take part in starting iPod Anonymous! I ordered mine online as well. I got a 2nd generation 8G red nano to replace the lost one -- but my old one was only 4G and this one was cheaper than the mine when I bought it new. I don't care about videos yet so I didn't get the 3rd generation. The tracking says it'll be here on the 18th. Whew, can I last till Friday???

Trust me, I had a full scale meltdown...second one of the week. But what would be even worse would be to lose all my music so I'm really careful to back my entire laptop up. Whew.
Kate said…
As the owner of two iPods--one of which is in my possession and one which is, ahem, no longer in my possession--I can totally relate. You must have your iPod.
Liz Dwyer said…
I just hope it hurries up and gets here soon! I'm dying without it!

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