One Of These Things Don't Look Like The Other One

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I took off all my jewelry like I normally do and set it in the little box on my dresser.

I took one large gold hoop earring out of my right ear.

I took one medium sized silver hoop earring out of my left ear.

Gold. Silver. Large. Medium. OH MY GOODNESS! These two earrings didn't match!

I know, the world is going to come to an end over the fact that I went around all day long with two different earrings in my ears. I immediately began over-analyzing the situation. What did this mean? Is this some sort of karma? Am I losing my mind? Why didn't anyone tell me?

I came up with some different scenarios as to why no one said a word:

A) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because...they were thinking, "Poor woman, she's got two kids, works really long hours and compulsively checks her email. It's a surprise her hair's not standing all over her head."

B) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because... they were thinking, "Hah hah! I'm glad that heffa has on two different earrings. It's exactly what she deserves! I hope she forgets to put mascara on both eyes tomorrow!"

C) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because...they were thinking that if they said something about the earrings, they'd also feel compelled to tell me about the pen marks on my face and the spinach in my teeth. Americans, we aren't so good at doing that.

D) People noticed and didn't really care because... they are thinking about more important things like world peace, ending racism, gender equality, eliminating world hunger and what they're going to fix for dinner.

E) People did not notice because... my hair is too long and they couldn't see the earrings. That's probably what happened with the woman who asked, "Girl, how much you pay for that weave?"

F) People did not notice because... when they were talking to me, I kept tilting my head so I could actually hear what they are saying since I can't hear as well out of my right ear. So they only saw one earring anyway.

I don't know which it is. If you saw me yesterday, did you notice? Why didn't you say something then? If you didn't see me, what option do you pick?


Are you kidding? Tomorrow, everyone will be wearing one medium silver hoop and one large gold one.

I don't know about the spinach in the teeth, but I could be wrong.
Liz Dwyer said…
HISF, The Us Weekly headline will read, "From prom date desolation to international trendsetter!"
Shai said…
Hey some could think it is a style. LOL. I know someone who deliberately does not wear matching earrings. I asked her one day and she said she has done it for years and that's that. LOL.

At least your shoes matched this chic at my old job had on two obviously different shoes and even talked about it. I was like boop either drugs or mental moments. LOL.
Junk Monkey said…
I think you can safely say that 99.9% of men wouldn't have noticed.
Liz Dwyer said…
Two completely different shoes on purpose? Does she just wear flats? How do you even make sure the heels are the same height? Why am I asking rational questions? I agree, there might be a crack pipe stashed somewhere in her purse.

Hmm, you are right! My husband did not notice. He told me he couldn't see because of my long hair. But, I work in education and education means women. The only men I saw all day were the custodial staff at a school in Compton. Interesting. So, maybe this is really some sort of internalized gender inequality issue.
Desiree said…
Yeah I'm thinking my kids would love that new trend! I think it went unnoticed because they are on either side of your head and impossible to focus on both at the same time. Also I would probaly think if I did notice that it were the lighting.
Liz Dwyer said…
So, I suppose the only way to figure out for sure if folks just can't focus on both sides of my head would be to test that theory out by wearing mismatched earrings again on purpose.

Hmm. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do that.
velvet said…
Mismatched earrings isn't as bad as when I realized that I had been walking around Philadelphia for a couple of hours with a pair of underwear caught on the back of my jacket for all to see (not one of my sexier pairs, either). Neither the people whom I saw nor the friend whom I was with said a thing about it. Couldn't possibly have been as bad as that. ;)

Liz Dwyer said…
Velvet Girl,

Oh that's bad. My earring annoyance is not even close to as bad as that.

What did your friend you were with say? (And are y'all still friends?)
Anamika Anyone said…
You know what,I'd notice..
And I'd complement you on your original style!:)
velvet said…
After the "moment of discovery", I asked her why she didn't say anything and she said that she hadn't noticed. I'm not so sure that she was telling the truth, but I'm pretty hard to embarrass, so I laughed the whole thing off.

Unfortunately, I lost touch with her when I moved away from Philly.


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