One Of These Things Don't Look Like The Other One
Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I took off all my jewelry like I normally do and set it in the little box on my dresser. I took one large gold hoop earring out of my right ear.
I took one medium sized silver hoop earring out of my left ear.
Gold. Silver. Large. Medium. OH MY GOODNESS! These two earrings didn't match!
I know, the world is going to come to an end over the fact that I went around all day long with two different earrings in my ears. I immediately began over-analyzing the situation. What did this mean? Is this some sort of karma? Am I losing my mind? Why didn't anyone tell me?
I know, the world is going to come to an end over the fact that I went around all day long with two different earrings in my ears. I immediately began over-analyzing the situation. What did this mean? Is this some sort of karma? Am I losing my mind? Why didn't anyone tell me?
I came up with some different scenarios as to why no one said a word:
A) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because...they were thinking, "Poor woman, she's got two kids, works really long hours and compulsively checks her email. It's a surprise her hair's not standing all over her head."
B) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because... they were thinking, "Hah hah! I'm glad that heffa has on two different earrings. It's exactly what she deserves! I hope she forgets to put mascara on both eyes tomorrow!"
C) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because...they were thinking that if they said something about the earrings, they'd also feel compelled to tell me about the pen marks on my face and the spinach in my teeth. Americans, we aren't so good at doing that.
D) People noticed and didn't really care because... they are thinking about more important things like world peace, ending racism, gender equality, eliminating world hunger and what they're going to fix for dinner.
C) People noticed and decided not to point it out to me because...they were thinking that if they said something about the earrings, they'd also feel compelled to tell me about the pen marks on my face and the spinach in my teeth. Americans, we aren't so good at doing that.
D) People noticed and didn't really care because... they are thinking about more important things like world peace, ending racism, gender equality, eliminating world hunger and what they're going to fix for dinner.
E) People did not notice because... my hair is too long and they couldn't see the earrings. That's probably what happened with the woman who asked, "Girl, how much you pay for that weave?"
F) People did not notice because... when they were talking to me, I kept tilting my head so I could actually hear what they are saying since I can't hear as well out of my right ear. So they only saw one earring anyway.
I don't know which it is. If you saw me yesterday, did you notice? Why didn't you say something then? If you didn't see me, what option do you pick?
Comments
I don't know about the spinach in the teeth, but I could be wrong.
At least your shoes matched this chic at my old job had on two obviously different shoes and even talked about it. I was like boop either drugs or mental moments. LOL.
Two completely different shoes on purpose? Does she just wear flats? How do you even make sure the heels are the same height? Why am I asking rational questions? I agree, there might be a crack pipe stashed somewhere in her purse.
Liam,
Hmm, you are right! My husband did not notice. He told me he couldn't see because of my long hair. But, I work in education and education means women. The only men I saw all day were the custodial staff at a school in Compton. Interesting. So, maybe this is really some sort of internalized gender inequality issue.
Hmm. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do that.
-velvet
Oh that's bad. My earring annoyance is not even close to as bad as that.
What did your friend you were with say? (And are y'all still friends?)
And I'd complement you on your original style!:)
Unfortunately, I lost touch with her when I moved away from Philly.
-velvet