Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear Thirty-Three,

How's it going? Hope you are having a great day. I'm pretty good, but there's something I've been meaning to speak to you about. Do you mind if we sit down and talk?

When I first met you last year, I thought, wow, you're the girl for me. You reminded me of my favorite Bulls player, Scottie Pippin, and you liked wearing black, red and white, just like me. We've had a great time together. Yes, we've had our ups and downs like any couple. It was hard at first, but I got past your dark circles and puffy undereyes in the morning. And gosh, I know I was a pain to live with during that annoying midlife crisis I had last March and April.

Come to think of it, you really were so supportive all year long. You helped me through my brother's suicide, you took that awesome writing class with me, encouraged my jogs around Silverlake and cheered me on as I lost 20 pounds over the summer. Plus, you made sure I really spoke what was in my heart. You really have been good to me, Thirty-Three.

All this makes it that much more difficult to tell you. I really want you to know, it's not you, it's me...but, you see, I met someone else. Her name is Thirty-Four. I like her. Alot. Everyone tells her she looks like she's 27 or 28. I don't really care about that, though. You see, she and I, well, we just clicked. She's really forward thinking and she just inspires me. Plus she's a Chicago girl. In fact, she loves my favorite Bears player, the late, great Walter Payton.

We're going on our first real date tomorrow. Granted, it's only to the DMV to renew my driver's license, but you know, a date is a date. And she's coming to my Depeche Mode party tomorrow night.

I'm going to tell everybody that me and Thirty-Four are together, so um, it'd be kinda awkward if you came too. Oh, don't cry Thirty-Three. I'll always cherish the memories we made together. No, it's better if you don't call or come by. Ever. We can't re-live the past. I really think it's best if we just make a clean break...Well, we can hang out for the next half hour, but that's it. I'm serious. After that, I have to go.

Thirty-Four is going to be at my house at midnight.


Mamita Umita said…
You are too funny! I hope you have a great party - and a great time with 34! Tell her I'll see her in 5 years.
Anonymous said…
Happy Birthday!!!! Hope you have a great day, great year, great great...everything!
Anonymous said…
Love it!!! Happy Birthday! See you tonight!!!
Shanilie said…
Happy Birthday! Came across your blog today thought I would say I and tell you I enjoyed it. Good post :-)
Anonymous said…
btw, scottie was my favorite bull too (go bulls!) happy birthday again!
I met 34 once and ya know, I liked her too! In fact, I think she was my favorite of the 30 sibs!
Anonymous said…
zHappy Birthday!

If it's any consolation, 33 has also been seeing me for six months or so. And a friend of mine as well. 33 gets around, if you know what I mean.

Happy Birthday. I hope 34 is understanding about your need to keep up your blog. Be a shame to lose you.
Anonymous said…
Greetings Miss 34,
Methinks that you are a shining star, a rising shining star that will never fade, i love you and your thoughts, i love the way you put down your thing, you inspire me, lift me up and sometimes you make me cry, sometimes in pain but others times with joy. You have the power to overcome, you have the power to enlighten, you have the power to heal and most of all you have the power of God's blessings!
You have global significance and influence. You have a spiritual essence that is not of this world.
Happy birthday and many happy returns. Keep up the good work!
Wonderfully delighted,
Dr D
Sundry said…
You're truly fabulous. Have a great birthday!
Liz Dwyer said…
My date with 34 at the DMV was a success. In fact, it was such a success that she agreed to come back to my place. She stayed all day and all night. I really like her and I think she likes me. I know this seems sudden, but she's moving in.

In all seriousness... Such an outpouring of well wishes from you all made my birthday that much more special. Thank you and know that I hope I can extend the same to you in the future.
Kate said…
Hey there Liz,
Sorry to have missed the actual day, but this post sure made me smile. Happy birthday and everyday to you!
Anonymous said…
This was such a delightful entry! Happy birthday, Liz!
Happy birthday, Liz! I love your spirit, and happen to agree that every age is wonderful and brings its own surprises, some of which are actually exhilarating.

I've had many more such relationships than you and can honestly say I wouldn't have missed any of them.

May you have a yearlong party!

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