Lil Wayne Will Never Be My Baby Daddy
Hi, I'm Los Angelista and I am NOT pregnant by Lil Wayne.If he ever did try to step to me, and assuming I could even understand what he was saying, I'd say, "Oh no, Wayne. I'm too fat and ugly for you. Plus, I'm opinionated, weave-less, and half a devil!"
All that should drive Weezy away, right?
But if somehow the apocalypse happened and I lost my mind and ended up in flagrante delicto with Mr. Sippin' On Some Sizzurp, I would probably still have the presence of mind to demand that he wear like ten zillion condoms.
Or we could just make a REALLY big one to cover his whole entire body, and then, well, what would be the point?
But the apocalypse has not happened, and Lil Wayne probably has the money to pay for not just one condom, but an entire condom factory... which is why I don't understand how not one but TWO starlets can allegedly be pregnant by this man at the same time.
First we had the mind-boggling info that actress Lauren London was knocked up by Wayne...
What? Did you get hypnotized by one of Wayne's tattoo teardrops, Lauren? Did you hit your head and start hallucinating that he was Idris Elba?And then there's singer Nivea, whose momma clearly was not a fan of ashy elbows or knees...
That poor child's wig probably just slid down her forehead and she couldn't see what was going on. But seriously, do these adults not understand that getting unexpectedly pregnant isn't the worst consequence of sleeping around? Do they not "get" that if you're gonna go there, at least try to protect yourself from STDs by using a condom?
I guess not. So, instead of the fashionable duds, they should just throw on t-shirts that say, "I want HIV! Infect me!"
And if you (yeah, you reading this blog) need one of those t-shirts too, let me know and I'll go to Target, pick up some white tees and a Sharpie. I'll express mail your new "going out" gear to you so you have it ready for this weekend. I'm sure you'll look supa-dupa grown-n-sexy in it.
Yeah, Lil Wayne will never be my baby daddy, and he sure shouldn't be for these two ladies either. Sorry Weezy, Lauren and Nivea, y'all have GOT to do better!
Comments
I'm sure they'd sell in BOTH of our cities!
What's so hard about wearing condoms?
I like Toni's idea.
And I have to hop on the bandwagon re: the unprotected sex. Those girls don't have a lick of sense. That is a damn shame.
P.S. Still laughing over "That poor child's wig probably just slid down her forehead and she couldn't see what was going on." Just stop!
From head to toe grotesque.
That's my answer as to why these ladies do/did it.
I can NOT get over the pants-below-the-ass thing.
Those aren't man-boobs. (I believe) He has a developed and defined chest, but that's it. No abs. No bi-triceps. I give props where props are due. He just covers his in tats.
Still, I agree, for the most part, with every comment.
-sigh-
I know for a fact, no matter whatever girls say, us 'nice guys' finish dead last. Or not at all, lol.
Proof: Your post, lol.
You''re probably right. If this dude worked at 7-11, I don't think either one would've slept with him. But even if the ladies are doing it on purpose, and it sure could be, doesn't he have the sense to wear a condom? (Why am I asking that question when clearly, the answer is NO.)
NYC/CR,
I went to high school with someone who had that many kids before the age of 20. It was just gross.
Nick,
No, he just has big pecs. Or at least big for his frame. Hairy chests a la Magnum P.I. are totally out of style these days. Actually, body hair is out, period in this day and age. I blame porn for it.
Jen,
I could make a little college fund from selling those tees to the hipsters around here. Hmm...
Lisa,
I think Nivea was playing with a My Little Pony before she bought that wig. The colors sooo reminds me of those.
Jameil,
I know... I only call Wayne that because remember how he used to always roll around with a cup? I guess I was surprised by both of them because it just seemed like, wow, y'all are BOTH trifling! Sigh.
1969,
That's because you have class and self-respect, whereas the parties involved can clearly only think with their hormones... but even then, sleep with someone else if it's like that. Not Lil Wayne!
Sippinwineman,
They like bad boys until that bad boy somehow goes bankrupt. Who knows, Wayne could be broke in a few years.
Kathy,
Nope... he actually goes around like that and voluntarily gets photographed like that.
Mimi,
Is he really that short? Wowzer.
I think he always either sad or high. I can't say I'd want that for the father of my child, at all, and I don't know why these ladies do, even if it is about $$.
Daniel,
Nope, guys who are nice DO finish first because they don't have to experience part-time fatherhood since they don't have a bunch of different kids by different women!
No problem! Typos drive me nuts, too!
Nooo, don't get fired, chica! But I laughed while writing this, even if the HIV thing is no joke. Folks take too many risks with their lives, and for what? A few minutes of pleasure? Stupid!
As far as the Lil Wayne's of the world, I try to remember that they're here today and gone tomorrow, but in his case, tomorrow can't come soon enough! Can't there be a backlash that'll put his fashion and his "rapping" out of style?
Honestly there are way too many women these days with no sense or standards!
Too many men and women without standards. This sort of thing has GOT to change!
Shiona,
Ugh, I hated that song! Everytime I heard it playing somewhere I'd picture the gates of hell opening and the devil smiling... you know?