Racist, Sexist, Boring! Wackness At The Movies

I usually love going to the movies during the summertime, but this year I'm not exactly feeling excited about what's in theaters. There are a whole lot of racist, sexist, materialistic and downright boring films available for our viewing pleasure.

OK, that's true every summer, but this year, there seems to be more than usual. For example:

1) Whitewashing Prince of Persia: I've given Jake Gyllenhaal the side-eye ever since I took him to a middle school in Compton and he told the kids he doesn't read books.

His disdain for reading aside, Gyllenhaal being cast as a Persian hero named Dastan is like Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra, except it's 2010, not 1963.

I've complained about his casting in this film being neither princely nor Persian since last summer. And for those of you all who think his bod is hot:

a) I live in LA. Hot bods are seriously a dime a dozen.

b) I know a gazillion Persian guys MUCH hotter than Jake.

The casting director could've just gone and hung out in Beverly Hills or in Westwood to find one. This city, affectionately dubbed "Tehrangeles", has the most Iranians outside of Iran, so I'm not buying that there were no qualified Persian actors with amazing abs and biceps around to play the role.

2) SATC 2 = Sex, Shoes and Sisterhood In Abu Dhabi? Are

you heading to see this with your girls? Sigh, I guess the awful ageist photoshopping on the promo posters didn't turn you off. Read this review and get a taste of the bigger picture.

I never watched this series, and everybody says how awesome it was, but I just can't get into it. Maybe that's because I've only ever seen the first film and a couple episodes on TV, and neither of those left me feeling impressed.

I know people want escapism but at a time when people are freaking out because their unemployment benefits are expiring and they still can't find a job, it would've been nice if Carrie had been laid off from a magazine gig and freelancing stuff had dried up.

Oh, and maybe a real plot would've been Mr. Big being impacted by corporate downsizing so he has to go into recession mode like the rest of us... and maybe Carrie realizes volunteering in the community is fulfilling.

Instead we get, "We're rich, white and bored so let's have sex and shop!"

Even the cast knows this is vapidity at it's finest! Don't believe me? Their official press commentary is translated into plain English!

3) Shrek: My two sons loved it but I hope it really IS the final chapter because I laughed like twice during the whole film. I was so bored I ate all my kid's popcorn, and I walked away thinking Shrek and Fiona should've just hired Rumplestiltskin as their resident party planner/club promoter and he wouldn't have caused so much trouble.

I also wasn't laughing at the ticket prices. $13 per kid and $16.25 for moi, for a grand total of $42.25. That's why I don't get all excited when I hear how many millions a film made over the weekend. For real, I can do without 3D if I need to fork over that much cash to see it.

That brings us to one of the previews shown during Shrek...

4) Boycott The Last Airbender: I guess when the big screen version of the "Avatar: The Last Airbender" cartoon dropped the "Avatar" part of the title (due to a Billion-Dollar-Movie-With-Blue-People) and just became "The Last Airbender"the filmmakers figured no one would notice that the main characters also morphed racial backgrounds.

Except, some of us have noticed and we don't like it. The first time he saw the trailer, my nine year-old said, "Isn't the kid supposed to be Asian?"

Yes, my dear, he sure is!

Check out Racebending's excellent breakdown on the all-too-common and seriously racist casting practices used by Paramount Studios:

Is it OK with you that in the cartoon, the characters are all Asian, but in the movie, ALL the heroes are white? Only the villain in the film is Asian. And that's why I won't be spending my dollars going to see racist crap. I even signed the petition to boycott it. I won't be taking my sons to see it.

Seriously, is this the best Hollywood can do? If so, I'm not buying it.