How I Know I'm Not Getting Any Younger
Last week I was over at one of my favorite sites on the interwebs, SoulPancake, and came across one of their "Life's Little Lists" features:
One of the things I love about features like this is that a week later, I'm still thinking about it and adding things to my list... which is WAY past three things. For example...
1) Grey Hairs: For the first time in history I have grey hairs along my hairline. And I don't care if you don't like how I spell "grey".
2) Bieberectomy: I've never heard a Justin Bieber song but I know my two sons hate him.
3) Metabolism Angst: I exercise a whole lot and eat baby carrots like a bunny rabbit but am still the same size. But no, ma'am, Jen Aniston's babyfood diet is not for me.
4) I'm 36. I'm 37. I'm 38: When people ask me how old I am, I sometimes forget... and not just because I live in LA. Sometimes I accidentally tell people I'm older than I am. Oops.
5) I Think YOU Look Old: I see people in their late 20's or early 30's and I think about how freakin' old they look. Then I remember I'm older than them and wonder if I look that old too - or is their lack of sunscreen use doing it to them?
6) Cream- But Not Prince's Cream or Wu-Tang's C.R.E.A.M.: I buy anti-aging creams and am actually starting to believe they work. I frequently hover in the aisles Sephora looking at what other creams might be good, but I'm overwhelmed by the sheer number of products.
7) Age Spotting: The lady at the Clinique counter told me one of their creams would fix my "age spots". She also mentioned that my hands are really showing their age. I didn't buy anything. I just went back to Sephora.
8) What Is A Tween?: I have a nine year-old who wants to know when he'll be considered a tween. He says next year when he turns 10. I say when he's 12, even though I have no idea what tween ages are supposed to be. I hate that my kid believes this faux marketing term!
9) I Miss You Shelter/China Club/Ka-Boom/Riviera/Berlin: Whenever I talk about going dancing at a club, the sentence starts out with, "Back in the day..." or "When I was your age..." - as in, "When I was your age, people went to the club to dance, not to have simulated sex and pass it off as dancing!"
10) TV: Instead of being out dancing Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, I'm home waiting for that Parenthood show to come on NBC. I also watch the Vampire Diaries and, although I love the show, I don't think any of the character's conflicts have been my conflicts for a LONG time.
11) Cover Up!: I complain about skirt lengths being too short. I frequently mistake dresses for shirts and have,"Is this a dress or a skirt?" anxiety when I'm in the dressing room. Never mind that I wore some insanely short skirts back in the day.
12) Flattening Up: I have more flats than heels in my wardrobe. Flats feel more comfortable. But when have I cared about shoe comfort, ever?
13) My, How You've Changed: My 20 year high school reunion is this year. I have no idea if I'm going. I hope I look different.
14) Men-o-pause: I read articles about menopause and wonder when it's going to hit me. I'm closer to that than menarche. Yeah, go look that up if you don't know what it is.
15) Depeche Mode = Fin: I've accepted that the end of Depeche Mode will probably come in the next decade. I'm already nostalgic about it.
Alas, the world is changing - but it's not all bad. Growing and changing and realizing I don't have to wear short skirts and uncomfortable shoes is not a bad thing.
Besides, remember beepers? I had to explain to my kids how if I was out, I used to page friends with a pay phone number and then I'd have to wait to be called back. You can only imagine their confusion.
What about you? What would you put on your list?