My Irrational Hatred of Kobe Bryant

The TV is on in my living room and my family is happily eating Thai food and watching the Los Angeles Lakers play the Phoenix Suns in Game 2 of the NBA's Western Conference Finals.

I tried watching the game, but when I found myself muttering evil curses every time Kobe Bryant's grubby fingers touched the ball, I knew it was time to excuse myself and come tell you about my irrational hatred.

Yes, I know hate is a strong word. Yes, I know my hatred is a destructive emotion. But guess what, I dislike Kobe so much, I don't mind if the Lakers lose.

If Kobe left the Lakers, I'd be sitting here decked out in purple and gold. Instead, I'm chillaxing in a Depeche Mode shirt, cringing every time I hear the announcers say, "Kobe Bryant for two!"

This is not just about Kobe's little Colorado adventure, either. I like Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson cheated so much he caught HIV. But he's a good guy in my book.

And no matter how much people hype up the possibility of a Laker vs Celtics matchup, Kobe Bryant will never be at the level of Magic Johnson. And if it does come to that, I'll be cheering on Kevin Garnett (Chi-town represent!)

If you like Kobe - and I can't imagine why you do - but if you do, I'm sure you hate this post. You see? Kobe sucks so much he's responsible for the spread of bad energy throughout the world.

Unattractive, self-centered, ball hog, whiny, snitching, wish they'd traded him instead of Shaq.

Comments

Val said…
Liz, did you see Kobe's LA Times photos? They were so appropriately ridiculous. And I loved when the Utah fans held up posters of him in that white hat get-up while he was shooting free throws.

Yep, I hate Kobe too.
Unknown said…
You may actually hate Kobe more than my husband does, and he really hates Kobe. He would also totally agree that they should have traded him and kept Shaq (we like Shaq).
mosaicmama said…
wow, lol. i get it though. we all have our nba players that we detest. i've been a lakers fan since i was a little girl watching the games with my dad in the 80's. and i love the LAKERS, not because of kobe or any one player. but i do love fisher. i think kobe has come a long way from his early days of being a ball hog though. i drive around with a lakers flag on my car and my kids in lakers shirts and even though i live in portland now, my heart is always purple & gold!
Ohmygosh! I thought it was just me! I want the Celtics to trounce the Lakers because I CAN'T STAND KOBE BRYANT!!!!
Liz Dwyer said…
Val,
Did the Utah fans really do that? Haha! I love it. Those photos were ridiculous.

Florinda,
Yep,Shaq's no angel, but I'll take him any day over Kobe.

Mosaic Mama,
I might do all that stuff too (ok, maybe not the flag on the car) IF Kobe wasn't on the team. I can't wait till he's no longer a laker.

Carolyn
Nope, it's not just you! I've met Fisher before and he's genuinely a nice guy, seems to do a lot in the community.
Jen said…
I used to like Kobe, ten years ago when he was a young kid. Then he started talking and he's just such a jerk! Ugh! I don't even really follow basketball but he makes me cheer for the Celtics!
Kobe didn't cheat on his wife. He raped an 18 year old girl. By his own admission the 6'6" man palmed the 5'2" girl's head (like a basketball)wrapped his fingers in her hair and forced her over a chair. This is from his police statement.

What kills me about Kobe is that rational, reasonable people forget this 18 year old girl's experience. When she filed charges, her life was made a living hell. She received death threats. Her family is still in hiding. She finally dropped charges after someone attempted to murder her and her family.

What woman is going to come forward after all of that?? God knows how many other women he 'cheated' with.

The man is evil.
Liz Dwyer said…
Tortuga,
Cheering the Celtics all the way. I'd probably hate him even if he never talked ever again. He just works my nerves.

Claudia,
I totally hear you but since legally he's acquitted - which is crazy to me and an example of our corrupt justice system - Kobe is like OJ, he didn't do the crime. Folks act like what Tiger Woods did was bad - jeez, what Kobe did was 1000% worse.
To my understanding, the prosecutors dropped the case after the victim was too terrified to testify, Liz. He wasn't acquitted. He never went to trial, thus never was acquitted.

He said in his "apology" that he raped the girl. He said it to the police. He felt/feels no shame or embarrassment in raping women.
digal704 said…
I can't stand him either! Truly! He has such an air about him. I don't see him as a team player at all! He is such a wuss, a punk! Talented with beautiful children and that's it.
Professor said…
I agree. I think Kobe is, on the surface, so appealing ... and then, he speaks. I was long disgusted with him for his choice of a wife (really, Kobe, high school pick-ups in, virtually, the car pool line?), his estranged relationship with his mother (sorry; I'm old school re: such things), and his smug acceptance of the cloak of superiority and exceptionalism thrown 'round his shoulders. He's vile.
Liz Dwyer said…
Claudia,
Ah, so he settled out of court. That's just gross - and it makes me ill to think that kids in the neighborhood wear Kobe jerseys all the time.

Digal 704,
I don't know if I've ever seen a pic of his kids. I'm sure they're sweet girls. Too bad their dad is so awful.

Professor,
I read somewhere that his wife might not have been of age when they first hooked up. Just nasty.

Popular Posts