The Olympics: Hopefully Saving Us From Beyonce, The Mummy and John Edwards

I wasn't super excited about the Olympics till I started watching tonight's Opening Ceremonies. Zhang Yimou did a fabulous job putting it together. Reminds me why I never skip one of his films. Plus, it's so great to watch the Parade of the Nations, which is still going on as I type. How fab it is seeing everybody all decked out in their costumes, looking all harmonious. Other than Turkmenistan seriously having the worst outfits ever (they were puke green suits) it makes me happy to see the world at it's best, all the beautiful diversity that exists and that we should value and celebrate every single day. Besides, all the feel-gooding of the Parade of Nations helps me forget about some of the things that happened in the last couple of days that show us not at our best.

I mean, the Beyonce/Feria hair color drama... L'Oreal says they didn't doctor her photo to make her skin lighter. Well, I think somebody did something and it wouldn't be the first time. But regardless, um, folks get all outraged over the skin tone but not over the fact that she's obviously wearing a blond wig or a weave and pretty much has for the past million years! Please, like she uses Feria on her own hair! Whatever! If her stylist is coloring anything, they're coloring her lacefront wig. We don't even know what her real hair looks like!

And what's really fascinating to me is reading comments on other blogs about the whole deal. Folks either try to rationalize it by arguing that ALL photos are doctored, it's just the industry, so this is not a big deal. Or they try to say that her lightened appearance is really the way she looks because of her Creole heritage. The typical comment is, "Have you seen her mom? Her mom is almost white!" Well, I've seen Bey's mom (and her daddy too), live and in person right in front of me. I didn't think Momma Knowles looked white but I did think she looked mean and her lipstick was too harsh and too red.

Oh, and then there's also the theories about how Beyonce has been progressively getting lighter like Michael Jackson did, like she's soaking herself in bleach every other night or something. Who knows. However it went down, let's face it, are the folks who are up in arms gonna boycott L'Oreal till they hire a slew of black models that don't have to wear wigs or get their photos digitally lightened up?

Crickets are chirping, folks.

And sigh, John Edwards. I can't say I'm surprised that the dirt is true because the minute I heard about the possibility of his infidelity back in January, and then he dropped out of the race all abruptly, I figured there was definitely more fire than smoke there. Can you imagine what this drama would be like if he'd actually won the nomination?

I guess he figured plenty of other adulterers have been elected or cheated in office, so what's the big deal? And besides, this election season who'd we have running? We had a divorced guy (Guiliani), a Mormon (Romney), a woman (Clinton), a black man (Obama) and a mummy (McCain) all in the same year! So maybe Edwards figured that if it came out, folks would say, "Who cares! At least he's a white man who's Christian and has both feet out of the grave."

Speaking of the Mummy, here's one of those dumb McCain ads on the TV right now. It's asking us about Obama, "Is the biggest celebrity in the world ready to help your family?" Ugh! McCain, it's sooo not classy! Going negative like this, especially when we all know you have EIGHT houses, well, it looks especially bad in the midst of all the feel-good, we-are-the-worlding that's going on during these Opening Ceremonies.

Anyway, enough of the Mummy and back to Mr. "I didn't love the woman I cheated with and I am NOT the father!" Yeah, I know Edwards denied being the baby daddy because the "timing" of the affair doesn't match up with when the baby was born. However, I would have much preferred if homie-love-affair had said, "I know I'm not the father because I believe in protecting my health and the health of my wife and so I wore a condom every time I had sex with my mistress." But nope, he'd never say that. I'm just wondering, how can you run for President, try to convince us that you can rule the Free World, but um, you don't know how to keep it in your pants or put on a rubber?

And now that I feel all high-schoolish because I just typed out the word "rubber", I can't believe it's almost 11:00 and we are only 175 countries into this Parade of Nations. I don't think I'm going to make it till the end. Sigh, we haven't even seen the Chinese delegation of athletes yet. But I saw the U.S.A. and Ireland so I've got my heritage covered, as far as I know. Wish I knew what African countries my slave ancestors are from so I could cheer for them especially. Instead, I cheer for all the West African countries extra hard. I gotta cover it all, you know.

On that note, time for bed! I have to get up in the morning to go to week two of my long run for my LA Marathon training. Last Friday night I stayed up till almost 4 AM and then got up at 6 AM. Not a good idea to go running on two hours of sleep. And how perfect, the Italians and the Senegalese are strolling. Just what I need, a little bit of eye-candy before bed. Do both countries have the hottest guys or what? Now I'm sure to sleep well and have good dreams!

In the spirit of the Olympics, Citius, Altius, Fortius to each of you!


Anonymous said…
Liz you can take the mater or pater dna testing for $350 to get a mapping area. And I'm so over the Beyaki flap. It's been commented on a zillion other sites now - at least you used a different contrast photo - lol! Raise the Red Lantern is up there in my top 3 fave films of all time. Couldn't understand a lick of dialog and didn't need to. I'd forgotten how young Gong Li was when she did that film because she still looked so amazing [and youthful] in Miami Vice. Her and Isabel Adjani never seem to age. If you haven't seen Queen Margot I highly recommend it. Good luck with your marathon training.
Anonymous said…
Oh yeah and about John Edwards. Can I just say WHAT A TOOL!!! That FOOL knew he had cheated and it was gonna come out. I mean this was a PRESIDENTIAL campaign. Was he seriously running or was he just supposed to be there for contrast because Clinton was 'inevitable' and their had to be some white guy running. Forget about Republicans leaking it - it would've been someone from his own party [Hill or Bill or one of theirs for sure]. You know we dodged 2 bullets. It really pisses me off. This country has so much to lose if McCain wins and I was NEVER happy about Clinton running and didn't think she was going to win under any circumstance. These people are not out to help the masses...just themselves. If Obama had so much as looked at another woman it would've been front page news. And McLame and his cheating ways isn't any better.
Anonymous said… missed the lighting of the torch? Amazing ending! I'm glad I have DVR. make sureyou look for it tomorrow and see the spectacularness (Is that a word? LOL) of it all.
Anonymous said…
The British and Irish papers have front pages contrasting the glittering Olympics opening and the war in Georgia, where they say over 1000 people have been killed already. The BBC also mentioned all the local households that were forcibly displaced and their neighbourhoods demolished to make way for the Olympics. Yes, the opening ceremony was spectacular, but at what a human and financial cost. I'll be looking out for 14 year old Tom Daley, the diving prodigy. Otherwise, sport is not really not my thing.
Anonymous said…
Is John Edwards guilty? Yes. But what about the woman, Rielle Hunter? Just as guilty. Maybe even moreso because the alleged father of her baby is also a married man who worked in Edwards' campaign. I'm really not trying to pass judgment here, but this sort of blatant disregard for the commitments people have made to each other (on all sides, mind you) infuritates me...
Jen said…
Marathon training? You never cease to amaze me.

I wish I'd seen the parade; we were involved in a family evening instead, which was still lovely.
Toni Campbell said…
I only watch the Olympics for the opening ceremonies. The Black Nationalist in me just cheers for all the African and Caribbean athletes. The woman in me likes to gawk at all the fine men from all over the world! It always makes me want to just get on a plane and go somewhere!
Although the stupidity of public officials and their decision making still surprises me, I was kinda happy with how John Edwards (and his department of spin)addressed the issue on Nightline. Especially his explanation of why Elizabeth wasn't sitting in on the interview with him.
Anonymous said…
I heard the leader of Turkmenistan picked out the outfits for the team himself.

I loved the opening ceremonies. I hadn't prioritized viewing it until I was invited to a friends' house to do so. I'm so glad I watched!

There was this whole report on Yahoo about Americans being upset that they weren't broadcast at the exact moment they were happening. But, honestly, I appreciate that NBC waited for more of us to be home, even if it was to increase their ratings and advertising income.
Anonymous said…
oh... Beyonce... China... oh....

It wears me out.

Liz Dwyer said…
It'll have to be my mom because I have only one male relatives left alive on my mom's side -- a 1st cousin -- and I believe that his DNA would reflect his dad, not my mom's dad, right? Anyway, yes, Raise the Red Lantern is hands down one of my favorite movies. It was the 1st Zhang Yimou film I ever saw and I was so captivated by Gong Li. She's such a classic beauty and she can ACT! Wow! Marathon training today -- it was REALLY hot this morning but it's over with! Whew!

Yeah, Edwards = delusional. Totally delusional. And I can't believe a talking head on MSNBC had the nerve to suggest that asking Obama if he's ever cheated is a question that now needs to be asked immediately. I was like, dude, if Obama had, we'd have known like 10 months ago. Sigh.

Nope, I totally saw it. I kept wanting to turn it off but I couldn't sleep so I hung in till the end. I could not believe that guy "ran" all the way around the stadium like that and then lit that torch like that. It was amazing. I still think the flaming arrow one from Barcelona was the hottest ever but this was definitely memorable.

I did have a moments where I'd here the NBC commentators talk about how folks live on $2 a day there and then I'd wonder how much got spent on fireworks alone. I can't even imagine how folks got displaced and how much money got spent. Our governments here in the US are gangster when it comes to building freeways, so I can only imagine. So terrible of me but everytime the commentators would say, "Those cheerleaders have now been dancing for two hours straight," I'd say, "Because if they don't, they'll never be seen or heard from again. The war is so sad. This morning I saw that it's up to over 1500 people killed. It's a really sad contrast to the unity that gets displayed during the opening ceremonies.

Yeah, the Rielle Hunter lady gets my "You're a Total Skeezer" award. She hands down stole the crown from Barbara Walters. Can't you just see the sit-down interview now? Now that he's publicly said he never loved her, well, the woman scorned thing will probably be in full effect. I wonder what she'll say. And goodness, I'm not sure if I really believe Edwards is not the father. If he lied about one thing, why not lie about that, too?

I'll bet you can catch parts of it online. It was great. And yep, marathon training! A little crazy, but it's not till March 1st next year so I have some time to work up to the 26.2 miles! So far so good but it was really hot out there this morning. I don't like running in hot sun. :(

We stand in solidarity together! I'm a total hot international athlete gawker but I only like 'em when they're not all sweaty and gross. Just, eww!

I totally forgot about the Nightline interview. I'll have to see if I can find it online. I'm glad Elizabeth wasn't playing the placated, supportive wife sitting next to him. She sure as heck didn't do it so why should she have to be there taking the heat?

He picked them himself? Oh, Lawdy! Is the man colorblind?

I hadn't planned on watching till like 7PM when someone on the radio started talking about them being on. I'm glad they waited to show them, too. I don't need to watch it in the moment if the moment is at like 7 AM.
Liz Dwyer said…
I know! I think I need to do a media turnoff week again. It's just all too much.
Lisa Johnson said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa Johnson said…
I love the parade of nations too. I know I'm biased toward the US, but they did look awfully sharp! : ) It was nice seeing the whole world there, but then it made me so sad to think that both Koreas weren't walking together and then the whole Russia/Georgia invasion.

Well, I guess the list could go on. It's such a shame, because when it gets down to it, most people don't hate other people personally and go to war. It's the leaders having land disputes or greed over other natural resources.

Anyway, looking at the African countries, I look at the people and try to see who looks most like me and my family and I wonder where we came from...
the joy said…
i second everything you said. i think im one of few who's not up in arms about the JE affair. i mean, maybe he went to visit the woman to say, "hey ,im going public with this, just so you know"... he's not the first cheater and he wont be the last. ahd hearts is right. rielle is just as guilty, especially since she peobably MET mrs edwards and still slept with her husband!
Shiona said…
I originally watched for the Parade of Nations. That did take a long time but was fun to watch. The show itself was so great. I wasn't even planning to watch it but then I got hooked.Some of those guys from around the world are quite good looking. I agree that the McCain ads are in poor taste as well. It takes everything in me not to just change the channe for those two minutes. "I'm John McCain and I approved this message." Whatever. John Edwards. Just wrong. I have nothing else to say about that. As for Beyonce, my sister works for Loreal and they have about three or four black people at her whole location so you can't put anything past them in my humble opinion.
Tafari said…
Beyoundsay - "If her stylist is coloring anything, they're coloring her lacefront wig. We don't even know what her real hair looks like!" LOL & HELLOOOOOO.

I have dismissed this woman long ago & find this really funny.

Photoshopping at it's worst!

JE - I was so disappointed but he is a man & a politician. The first thing I thought about was his wife & the slap in the face that she had to deal with. If that kid is his, all hell is going to break loose in his life. I am dying to see how they are going to link Barack Obama to the affair & baby.

On the condom now. She was a attractive white woman, why would he need a condom, she had the safe look. LOL!!!

JM - I love the "Mummy" as his alternate name. Good thinking on that one. I am so damn tired of the celebrity commercials. They are stupid & really show how he is digging in the gutter to get to the white house.

Ancestors - "I cheer for all the West African countries extra hard. I gotta cover it all, you know. " LOL, me too & the rest as well. based on this fact we might be cousins!!!

Awesome post!!!

amen Liz!

JE not sure why he thought this wouldn't become public. I feel it's really none of our business, now that he is not a public official.

Beyonce why are people up in arms and pissed at L'Oreal? the girl likes to look this way. hello don't people remember that video she did with Sharika. They were the same complexion. I found that kind of odd since during the Destiny's Child day she looked well, different.
Anonymous said…
So it's the mitochondrial DNA testing I was referring to. You could probably just conduct research for your Dad's lineage as it might be easier.
1969 said…
Did you call him homie-lover-friend? LMAO! You are a nut.

The opening ceremonies were indeed jaw dropping and fantabulous. It will be impossible for anyone to top that for a long time to come.
Liz Dwyer said…
I guess Ralph Lauren designed the USA Olympic athletes. They looked great. Next time, Turkmenistan's leader needs to give Ralph a call.

The Joy,
The crazy thing is that half the folks that are all outraged are probably creepin' themselves. How interesting though that homegirl doesn't want a paternity test. Hmm...

Definitely good looking folks around the world. Exercise will do a body good, right! :) Your sister must have such an insight into the business. I find it totally interesting how Beyonce just never has any comment. Actually, she doesn't really give interviews on real things, does she? I wonder if she's ever had an interview where she's discussed the weavetasticness of her appearance.

He is the Mummy for real, isn't he! You are so right about the condom. Some folks totally think that way, don't they? As for linking JE and Rocky? Well, I've read a couple of articles claiming that Barack's camp were the story leakers or else how he's now got to answer whether or not he's ever cheated.

Bey totally looked different back in the DC days. AMEN about the Shakira video. I remember the first time and being more than a little amazed that they were looking like twins. And of course she likes it -- it's made her millions.

But since my dad is of Irish descent, that still wouldn't help me much on the African descent side of things. I do want both of my parents to do it though regardless. It would be great to find out more about my heritage on either side.
Liz Dwyer said…
I know, I say crazy things when I'm tired. BTW, I just read that the firework footprints at the beginning were faked for TV. They actually happened but didn't show up well on TV so they made computer generated ones. Who knew!
Lola Gets said…
Zhang Yimou is my favorite Chinese director, I try not to miss his movies!

I have to disagree with you on the ugliest outfit honoree. Hungary had just the worst dresses for the women- white with some weird green leaves all over them

Poland got the best honorable mention as they actually tried to show their female athletes in style: sundresses with high heels and matching stoles. It didnt look that good on the barrel-bodied women, but it was a nice try.

The butt-ugliest award goes to a small country that I cant remember! I just know that there was an ugly floral pattern, straw, and the country's name in big red letters on them: gross!

I would have done my own post on this, but I didnt take notes. I always love the opening/closing ceremonies. One of these days, Im gonna go to one.

USA better wear some nice outfits though. I dont wanna be embarassed,lol.

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