Personal Attacks By Another Blogger

Don't you just love personal attacks? Don't you just love when someone quotes your entire post just to trash you?

Based on my last post, another blogger called, "The Real Gun Guys" has a lot to say about me.

Check this out:

"Say, do you find this poster offensive? Do you think it’s something little kids shouldn’t be exposed to? Are you a hoplophobic parent living in Los Angeles who was robbed at gun point eight years ago? If you answered yes to any of the previous, you might write a blog called Los Angelista’s Guide To The Pursuit Of Happiness.

I stumbled upon this blog recently and the latest post contains so much PSH it’s a surprise the local megamart isn’t sold out of Depends."

This person then goes on to basically cite my whole entire post and bold certain areas he thinks are particularly ridiculous.

Don't you just love when people who don't know you disagree with your views and then feel the need to personally insult you to prove their point?

I don't think people have to agree with everything I write. You have a differing view? That's fine. I have no problem with that. But there's no need for the insults. Just because I don't think it's alright for my FOUR YEAR OLD to see a sexualized picture of Angelina Jolie holding a gun, now I'm hoplophobic, which is a nice big word that means I supposedly have a fear of firearms.

Actually, no, I don't have a fear of firearms. I have a very real and legitimate concern about people who choose to use firearms in inappropriate and dangerous ways.

I have no idea where the writer of The Real Gun Guys lives. His "about" page says,
"Counteracting the counterfeit, we strive to bring you the honest, logical truth about guns and gun control without the emotion and hyperbole that often color this subject."
My honest, logical truth is that I live Los Angeles where sometimes it seems like pretty much EVERYBODY has a gun and uses it in more places than a friendly, follow-the-rules shooting range.

I wonder if The Real Gun Guys has ever had to lay on the floor of a classroom during a "code yellow" because shooting is going on around a school?

I wonder if The Real Gun Guys has ever had to teach a child who's only alive because he hid behind a couch as his parents were being shot, execution style?

No, it was not fun getting my wedding ring stolen by some gangsters who stuck a gun in my chest, especially when I know that if you can see a nervous suspect's face, they know you can identify them in a photo lineup, which means they are more likely to pull the trigger. Hell yes, the situation was absolutely terrifying and I think ANYBODY would be scared in that circumstance. So go ahead and pass the Depends around because if you don't piss your pants when you're getting robbed by two MS13 members, you're not human.

And what's wrong with emotions? I'm not one of those people who believes that a lack of emotion is a good thing. Hasn't The Real Gun Guys ever heard of emotional intelligence or your emotional IQ? I'm supposed to think emotion is a bad thing? Well, I don't. Sorry.

What really amuses me though is that nowhere in my post did I say that I'm against gun ownership or the right to bear arms. In fact, the writer of that blog has no idea whether we even have a gun (or guns) in our house, whether I know how to shoot, whether my husband knows how to shoot, and whether my sons, particularly my seven year-old, have been taught the four rules of firearm safety.

Yeah, I'm sure The Real Gun Guys has some interesting points, but I have a hard time absorbing them through the insults. Too bad, maybe we'd learn something from each other.


Lola Gets said…
Girl, dont you just love the crazies?? All I took from your previous post is that you dont want your sons growing up idolizing guns and violence, thats all. And you know what? Thats ok too. Theyre at an age where they might not be able to differentiate between fantasy (the movies) and reality (dude sticking a gun into your chest on the street), and you should tell them the difference!

So, you keep on keeping on, and shake off the haters!

Lola Gets said…
Girl, dont you just love the crazies?? All I took from your previous post is that you dont want your sons growing up idolizing guns and violence, thats all. And you know what? Thats ok too. Theyre at an age where they might not be able to differentiate between fantasy (the movies) and reality (dude sticking a gun into your chest on the street), and you should tell them the difference!

So, you keep on keeping on, and shake off the haters!

leila said…
i really think that people sometimes write stuff on their blogs in a way that is deliberately inflammatory and confrontational, presumably to make it more interesting to read. you know, if people read a strong opinion, with "humour" that is on the attack, and the sense of conflict, that is meant to be more compelling and worthwhile reading than a measured, possibly humourless, conversational response to another person's idea.

making fun of, or insulting, other people and their ideas seems to be part of the sport and "human rights" of personal website publishing.

unfortunately, i really see this a lot in the writing of personal websites. it's even to the extent of women joking about how a certain opinion of another person feels similar to their being raped with a sharp object. i imagine the INTENT behind this kind of writing is to exaggerate for the sake of humour (and creative similes?) but i find it distasteful and surely offensive for maybe one person reading the website who may have actually been raped or abused in the manner spoken about so lightly and "humorously".

whenever i come across personal websites that have this kind of pissed-off vibe, i tend not to return. they may need to vent and practise their creative writing and journalling in this way, but i i can find other websites that have similar opinions to the ones expressed in the pissed-off websites ... without the pissed-off part. i don't mind reading/engaging in a diversity of opinions; like you, i actually seek them out. but i don't think that hectoring or adversarial language and expression is in conformity with my principles about how dialogue should be carried out: with respect for others and the desire to discover truths.

my point is, i think that this may have been what this other writer was doing with your opinions and your post.

on your website you are entitled to your opinions, and clearly you have strong ones. that writer who responded to your strong opinions is also entitled to their strong opinions, but i agree with you in wishing that they had expressed themselves in a more conversational and less hierarchical (You're Wrong; I'm Right; I Know Who's The Better Person) manner.

if they had, i might have been able to listen to the alternative ideas that they were proposing.

keep on writing, please. i love reading you.

love from leila
Anonymous said…
Is it so hard to understand that you were involved in a terrifying gun incident a while back and you don't want your kids to think of guns and violence as in any way glamorous or exciting? And that you're worried by how many people possess guns and may misuse them?

But some people just don't want to understand, they only want to defend their own self-centred and irresponsible opinions.
Liz Dwyer said…
Lola (times 2! LOL!
Yes, as their parent, I'm not trying to leave the values we've chosen to raise them with up to the fickle winds of society's opinions. Billboards don't raise my sons. I do.

You are right. Bloggers often do try to be intentionally provocative, trying to instigate dissension instead of driving toward unity. I can't believe any woman would make jokes about such a horrible act as rape. That gives me chills. And thanks for the love. I am definitely gonna keep on writing.
Liz Dwyer said…
Even if that hadn't happened to me, I'd like to think I can put myself in someone else's shoes and imagine the pain that gun violence has caused. There's nothing glamorous about real crime scenes or the bodies of real shooting victims. It's not all sanitized like it is in the movies.
Felicity said…
I have notice that I have been on a few forums or blogs and when I don't agree with them, they personally active me and tell me I am not welcome on their website. A man was criticising Victoria Beckham and Creflo Dollar and I said instead of worrying about them, we need to concentrate on our lives and get rich ourselves. Oh I got an earful and I was banned. Another blog I went on, the man complained about seeing only ww on mainstream magazines, such as Cosmo, Elle etc. So I told him that bW now have their own magazines, they have their own blogs addressing their issues and BW need to be educated, enpowered and have money and they want to concentrate on more important things than worrying about bw not being on mainstream magazines. If was obvious this guy was white, he blasted me about what Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks did. I told him that was over 40 years ago and now we BW need to buy corporations and television networks and as for BET and the others who show bW in a negative light, we don't buy their products or watch the programmes. My dear he will mad, he accused me of just sweeping things under the carpet and dismissing things and those who say that they are not going to waste their energy on WW on magazines, take a hint, don't come back here. Another blog I went on the man was not a supporter of Barack Obama and he hated his father's day speech and another blogger told him that he should not make light of what Barack Obama has achieved, he went off on the lady. Then there are other bloggers who are insulted on their own blogs if they suggest IR relationships etc. I have come to realise, it is not about you LA, because we are human, we feel it at us, but it is about them. The man who attacked me about Victoria Beckham and Creflo Dollar, is obsessed about their lives and he can't do anything about his, the man who attack me about not enough BW on mainstream magazines realises that BW are getting on with their own lives, despite what the media likes to show. Many of them are educated, married have children and are very successful and they are living their lives to abundance, so nothing is stopping them now. The man who attacked the lady about Barack Obama is jealous of him, Barack is everything, he is not and he has projected his image and how he feels about himself on Barack. The man who attack you about Angelina's gun, realises that he wants a big gun himself, to make him feel a man, powerful. The men who attack the other BW who are in interracial relationships realise that BW have options, they always did, but they only realised it until now. All I can say Los Angelista is keep on writing the truth as you are doing now, and keep on opening our eyes to the things that is wrong. We have more power than we realise.
Anonymous said…
The pen is mighter than the sword or in this case the gun!! Keep writing and don't worry, in fact that man trash talking just makes you look inside yourself and be able to express where your coming from more clearly. Now if he had ever seen you at the gun range he might have thought twice about talking crazy!!!! He doesn't know you don't use 911 you use 357!!
Lisa Johnson said…
He's probably not creative enough to come up with his own posts, so all he can do is criticize others. He'll probably read this. Too bad. He doesn't deserve the attention or to be the focus of one of your posts.

And I wish you didn't give him a link! You just helped his Technorati rating. Links are hard to come by and negativity shouldn't be rewarded. I will not be visiting him and rewarding him with another page view!
Clearly this man must not live in L.A. I would keep my mouth shut when I wanted to tell horrible driver off on the freeway because there are so many nuts out there with guns. And the gang problem is not a joke.

I don't understand why this man couldn't understand your post.

We live in a crazy world. It's sad. We should empathize more and be less critical.
Jen said…
I think often folks like this don't actually read the post they're criticizing, but just plan to use it to promote their own ends, much like Lola said.

I had an anonymous poster for a bit who was clearly not reading the actual posts he was criticizing, but giving his opinions about anyone whom HE believed thought the way he THOUGHT I did. (Um... that probably made no sense, but I think you know what I mean). As a result of those encounters, I now have a "no anonymous commenters" policy on my blog.

Great post, as was your previous post.
Nerd Girl said…
You are such a lady. Seriously. Your post is thoughtful, well written, and doesn't contain the many f-bombs my response would've if I'd been responding to his post. Good job - both in your writing and in your responsible parenting of your children!!!
Jameil said…
yeah he can go kiss it. it's the people who aren't open to other people's ideas who kill me. i think most people are just afraid to be open to new ideas. they don't interest me at all. and i try not to get all pissed off abt it. it doesn't always work. they probably just searched gun and went to town. you know the bloggers who adore you LIKE ME!! the rest can kick rocks.
I agree with Leila: some blog participants are intentionally provocative. But I believe there's something else at work here. You're a good writer, an artist. And being so, some people are going to come after you precisely because you're a good writer, an artist. It's like a notch on a gun (or something else I want name) to put down someone that's good at what they do.

But I like the way Langston Huges put it: good writers write the truth no matter whom it hurts; and they stand atop the mountain free within themselves. Blessings.
Anonymous said…
Some so-called men just don't get it and focus on blaming women instead of offering any real solutions. Don't feed the trolls! Don't even link to their blog thereby giving them more traffic. Brush your shoulders off! You know you're onto something when the attacks start.

This was my favorite quote from Obama's Father's Day message:

“The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy — the ability to stand in somebody else’s shoes; to look at the world through their eyes.”
Anonymous said…
Great reply- I'm amazed at how calm and well thought out your response was, mine would not have been so kind. All I have to say is brush your shoulder off and don't feed the trolls. While your writing did do a great job further explaining your experience anyone with even an inkling of humanity or common sense would have understood the first post.
Los Angelista, you keep on with your bad self and ignore this guy. The fact that he took the time to attack you just means you're making an impact. My policy is to ignore personal attacks entirely.
Liz Dwyer said…
There are few times when I've had similar experiences to yours on other blogs. It's weird how some people can't disagree without automatically reverting to the, "Let me prove how stupid you are," approach. We've all read articles that talk about how the internet provides a cloak of sorts so people feel more comfortable saying things they wouldn't otherwise say or saying them in a manner that's not conducive to any sort of consultation or understanding. I am guilty of this as far as Kobe Bryant goes -- actually, I'd love to sit him down and tell him how I really feel! ;)

No, he doesn't know that, does he, especially since when you call 911 you get put on hold for forever. But as you know, I prefer to stick with the pen unless absolutely necessary!

I guess I really wanted to respond because I so firmly believe in the truth and in speaking the truth... and because it bothered me that someone would do such a thing. I thought about not linking to him but I wanted people to be able to see what he wrote for themselves. I didn't comment on his blog though. I guess I don't want to engage in that much dialogue, if it would even be a dialogue.

I'd say not an LA resident either. Someone who's lived out here would totally "get" it. There are definitely too many nuts and yeah, the gangs are not a problem to laugh off. Folks try to separate out so-called gang culture from a so-called gun culture but guns are a huge part of the culture of gangs so you can't really split hairs in that way.

The teacher in me was definitely wondering about the reading comprehension grade level ability as I was reading that post. I did no anonymous for awhile on my blog a couple of years ago but then I got rid of it because I almost never get them. Why be anonymous if you can own up to what you really feel?

Nerd Girl,
It did take me a minute to feel semi-rational and able to write, mostly because it's a strange feeling to read what seems to be hardened coldness. It makes me wonder, what happened, what hurt this person to make them react in this way? I'm sure the person who writes that blog would take that as an idiotic thing to wonder about, but I really do believe that sort of response is the result of deep hurts. It's too bad.

Kick rocks, indeed! It's so easy to get tied to the rhetoric of a particular "side" and then folks just state that rhetoric /talking points without taking into account the human aspect of things. I chalk it up to the hyper-individualism rampant in our culture and the believe that winning is everything.

Thank you so much for saying I'm an artist. :) I think I do need to prepare for more people to come after me in such a manner. I'm sure it won't be the last time it happens. I certainly agree with Langston Hughes. You have to write the truth. It's the foundation of everything.

Empathy is so needed in our society. Did you see that footage of the elderly gentleman back East who was the victim of the hit and run drivers and people kept right on strolling by him as he lay there in the street. It was awful and I saw it as such a sign that we lack empathy and are losing our humanity. How could we not reach out to help? And how can someone not understand a parent's desire to not have their child exposed to such things?

I didn't feel all that calm when I first read it. I felt angry because it does seem so common sense that a parent would not want his or her child to see such things. I guess drawing a line about what's acceptable and what's not is something to be ridiculed these days.

There have been a couple other similar personal attacks that I've ignored and I suppose I should have ignored this one as well, but I just couldn't. It was so unnecessary to attack me in such a way and it really bothered me.
Miriam said…

what an honor. I think. lol. That someone should be so into your blog.

He should check out Israel where people are totting m-16s like chapsticks.

Anyway, keep up the great work! I enjoy your blog
Anonymous said…
I find personal attacks via blog to be tasteless. It's annoying when people use you to make what they consider to be a good post. Everyone wants to be Rush Limbaugh! It's happened to me and I'm sure it'll happen again.
Lola Gets said…
I now have a "hater": some chick keeps commenting on my posts calling them "lies."

"We all know thats not what happened!"

Nice, huh?


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