My Neighbor's Totally Weird
It's almost midnight and I'm watching Mad Men for the second time today. Or at least I'm trying to. One of my neighbors is on the phone having a rather loud argument with someone. As hard as I'm trying to make out what the fight's about, I can't. But he does keep yelling, "I am so effing disappointed!
I want to yell out the window, "I'm so disappointed you're breathing right now. Shut up!"
Seriously, I wish he'd move because if the dictionary had an entry for "weird serial killer vibe", he'd be in it.
Every once in awhile I'll come home and he'll be standing outside chain smoking. Homie will come over to my car and stand a little too close to it than is socially acceptable. Sometimes I sit inside the car and don't get out. I turn my music up and chill out for a few minutes. Usually he takes a hint and goes away, but when he doesn't, or when I'm sick of sitting in the car, I'll get out and pretend I'm talking on the phone. I don't even look his way or acknowledge him at all.
It's not just that I can imagine him popping Viagra pills and then desperately hanging out at seedy strip clubs, lasciviously eyeing the "employees". It's not that he's the type that if he was married, he'd take off his wedding ring on a business trip and try to engage in some pay to play. He has an energy that sets off the alarms in my head. Clearly those alarms in my subconscious notice more than my rational self does.
In the meantime, I think he's finished arguing. I'm so curious about what this guy's deal is, but when it comes down to it, I think I'm completely fine with never finding out!
I want to yell out the window, "I'm so disappointed you're breathing right now. Shut up!"
Seriously, I wish he'd move because if the dictionary had an entry for "weird serial killer vibe", he'd be in it.
Every once in awhile I'll come home and he'll be standing outside chain smoking. Homie will come over to my car and stand a little too close to it than is socially acceptable. Sometimes I sit inside the car and don't get out. I turn my music up and chill out for a few minutes. Usually he takes a hint and goes away, but when he doesn't, or when I'm sick of sitting in the car, I'll get out and pretend I'm talking on the phone. I don't even look his way or acknowledge him at all.
It's not just that I can imagine him popping Viagra pills and then desperately hanging out at seedy strip clubs, lasciviously eyeing the "employees". It's not that he's the type that if he was married, he'd take off his wedding ring on a business trip and try to engage in some pay to play. He has an energy that sets off the alarms in my head. Clearly those alarms in my subconscious notice more than my rational self does.
In the meantime, I think he's finished arguing. I'm so curious about what this guy's deal is, but when it comes down to it, I think I'm completely fine with never finding out!
Comments
Yep, that's my thinking too. If something doesn't seem right, chances are, it probably isn't.