I Have 279 Girlfriends!

When I became a parent, I figured I wouldn't have to worry about my sons going girl-crazy till they hit puberty.

Pfft! I was sooo wrong!

My five year-old currently claims to have 279 girlfriends.

The latest addition to his stable of "girlfriends" is the teacher assistant in his kindergarten classroom. This morning she was walking into the school in front of us and he whispered to me, "That's Miss Alamillo. She's my girlfriend."

"No, that's your teacher assistant."

"And she's my girlfriend, too!"

"You don't have any girlfriends. You're too little for girlfriends."

"No I'm not. I have 279 girlfriends!"

"Does she even know she's your girlfriend?" I asked, surely rolling my eyes because I knew the answer he'd give.

"No, and you better not tell her she's my girlfriend. Don't embarrass me, mom!" Then he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me.

I watched him shyly trail down the hall after Miss Alamillo, and he turned to look at me a couple of times, giving me his most blinding, most mischievous smile.

I swear we have this same conversation at least once a day, even if the object of his affection changes. Ask him to name all his girlfriends and he'll name off every single girl in his class and then say, "I can't tell you the rest because it's a secret."

But where does this girlfriend thing come from? Nobody we know is doing the mack daddy thing. The few unmarried male friends we have are all wishing they even had just one girl in the first place, let alone 279! They're always complaining about how there are no nice girls in Los Angeles. I guess they need to sit down and get schooled by my son about how to, er, rope 'em in.

Seriously though, I often wonder about the media messages that filter in, telling a boy, especially an African-American one, that part of his value is in having a whole bunch of girls, even if he can't remember their names.

My mind automatically goes from point A to point B with this. His little kindergarten crushes morph into him becoming just the sort of womanizing player I've hated my whole entire life. I picture multiple girls calling our home, each one thinking they're the only one.

I don't want him to have girlfriends. I just want him to develop himself intellectual, physically and spiritually... and then, when he's like 30 he can get a wife.

Do I need to keep him in those "nerd" glasses if I want that to happen? And why can't I just keep smiling about his multiple girlfriends while telling him he's too little for anything but girl "friends" in the first place?