The WTF Search Terms of the Day
Every once in awhile I get all creepy big brotherish and check to see what search terms are leading the unsuspecting masses to this wonderful blog. Folks come here hunting for hair advice, advice on parenting black boys... and then there are these gems:
1) "i hate los angeles now where should i go?"
My sixth sense says this searcher has "I just got dumped and now I'm bitter" tattooed on his/her forehead. For real, what is wrong with people that don't love El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula? Do they not see the jacked up winter wonderland weather the rest of the country has been through? Do they really want to experience snowmageddon?
2) "buy butt pads in los angeles"
I'd speed dial Beyonce and ask her if they have them at Costco, but we had a falling out after I told her butt pads seem sort of like wearing a diaper.
7) "I hate to hear bi racial people say they are black"
"I'm black, I'm black, I'm black! I'M BLACK!!!!"
Convinced this is the WRONG blog for you, yet? Because if you don't want to hear that, too bad for you. But don't worry, on March 17th, I'll get all Sybil on you and morph into the Irish Sham-Fro Queen. That's the "Irish Shamrock Afro Queen", in case you didn't know.
8) "Where do all the smart people hang out in los angeles?"
If you have to ask, you must not be one of them. Besides, I get the feeling you're probably talking about people who think they're smart, not true smart people.
Ok, fine. They hang at House of Pies.
9) "Is it a good idea to send a progress report to my boss every Friday?"
Do you have some new information to report every Friday that can't wait till Monday? Because if not, your boss is going to get really annoyed seeing some bullishtar on a piece of paper once a week. You might make your boss HATE Fridays, and then that hate will transfer over to YOU.
10) "los angelista is a bitch"
Yes I sure am. I'm Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Cool and Happy. Just like your momma.