The Oscars Are Over, Thank Goodness For That

The Oscars is over. I'm tired... too tired to do a sociological analysis of Gabby Sidibe vs Sandra Bullock and Bigelow vs Cameron or Avatar vs everything. But before I go pass out...

1) Mariah Carey - STOP pouring outta your clothes. Wear stuff that fits. And if you have an eggo in your preggo... just admit it.

2) Samuel L. Jackson's side eye: Oh my goodness, if you caught it, it was HILARIOUS.

3) Sarah Jessica Parker's hair - My hair used to look like that when I was little and I'd just crawled out from under a bed.

4) Morgan Freeman with his, ahem, step grand daughter - I can't even look at him the same. I'm just grossed out. Barf.

5) Mo'Nique - Best supporting actress winner. She's a long way from hosting crap like Charm School. But thanking BET? Really?

6) Oprah - She was looking fab and I loved what she said about Gabby Sidibe.

7) Geoffrey Fletcher winning for his Precious screenplay: First African American to win in the category. Interesting how neither he nor Mo' Nique mentioned the book's author, Sapphire, in their acceptance speeches. Things that make you go hmm.

8) Sean Penn - What in the world was he blathering on about before he announced Best Actress?

9) Keanu Reeves - His facial hair made me think he's auditioning for the part of the Werewolf II. Seriously, full beards are experiencing an interesting renaissance in Hollywood. Is this the case in middle America, too?

10) John Hughes Tribute - Made me miss him and Chicagoland, and was it just me or did Molly Ringwald look nervous as heck?

11) Farrah Fawcett - Left off that "in memoriam" tribute. That was NOT cool.

12) Kanye Ain't the Only Rude One - I guess the creators of the short form documentary winner, Music By Prudence, are fighting. The female half of the duo came off looking like some random rude lady who rolled up and snatched the mic from the winner. It was INSANE!

13) Brad and Angelina - How come they weren't there?

14) The Interpretive Dance Thing - My youngest son had the best comment about it. "Those dancers were awesome! I'll bet they're tired. They just made my back feel sweaty!"

And with that, I'm going to bed. I've devoted enough hours of my life to the Oscars. G'nite.


nick said…
The biggest story in the entire world this morning, according to the BBC, is Kathryn Bigelow winning the Oscar for Best Director. Come again? How about the earthquake in Eastern Turkey? Or the 500 people killed in religious clashes in Nigeria? Trivial stuff, obviously.

Glad you enjoyed the evening though!
Brad and Angelina are in Venice Italy with the family while she's shooting a movie with Johnny Deep.

I wondered what Sam Jackson's side eye was about?
There was an entire discussion at my house about classy sexy and slutty sexy and how Mariah just couldn't make her way out of the latter category. Does it say something about her self esteem? That was the question of the night!

Otherwise the Oscars were enjoyable. Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin went a little long with their monologue but I didn't turn the channel as much as I have in recent years.
Elita said…
They also left Bea fucking Arthur off the memorial tribue. BEA ARTHUR! One of the greatest actresses of our time. A feminist, a civil rights activist, and chick was selling out for her one-woman show on Broadway in her 80s! And not a mention? I was shocked.
Sally said…
All the comments about Gabby Sidibe made me want to work with her...on anything. Hope the industry types watching caught on, too. We want to see her glow.

The memorium was truly lacking this year. It seemed a little weird to me theat they made _such_ a big deal over John Hughes. You're right, Molly looked terrified.

And please, couldn't someone have been backstage with a little hairspray? There were a lot of women with pulled-back hair and these wild fly-aways sticking off the sides of their heads, probaby due to the wet weather. Elizabeth Banks' was a little distracting.

Oh, ugh. Hadn't heard that about Morgan Freeman. Creepy and so, so disappointing. I've admired him since I was nine.

Loved J-Lo's spontaneous loud laugh toward the beginning.

Thanks for the fun run-down.
Liz Dwyer said…
Just realized I forgot to include Bigelow on my list. It was definitely exciting to have a woman win. Haven't seen the film. The tension between pop culture and real news is always an issue. Award shows shouldn't be such a big deal. But we enjoy them nevertheless.

Oh yes, the movie where according to the tabloids she's supposedly stealing Depp away from Vanessa Paradis. (dumb rumors!)

I'd love to know what that side eye was about! It was a trip!

My sons were covering their eyes when they saw Mariah. She just looked ridiculous. She cultivates the trashy, spilling out her clothes look and there's no reason for it.

One of the funniest moments was the Paranormal Activity mockery - and Stiller's dressing up as Avatar. I was dying!

Oh my goodness, they sure did! I totally forgot that she passed! What is up with that?

Gabby does seem like such a level-headed sweetheart. I hope she's not a one-off that we never hear from again. I get the John Hughes thing because he made so many movies that were so influential in shaping how a certain generation of teens saw themselves, but yeah, the rest of the memorial wasn't that well done.
Val said…
I lmao when Sam made the side-eye after Mo'Nique won! That was sooo funny.

Yeah what's up with Morgan and his "granddaughter"? Yikes!

Mo'Nique is so tacky! What's up with the tribute she was making to Hattie McDaniel?

And Liz, have you seen Mo'Nique's talk show on BET? She's really not that far from her Charm School days.

Mo'Nique's win reminds me of the 3-6 Mafia win.

Oh my, talk about a Kanye moment when the guy from the film Prudence was speaking. That woman did come across as nuts.

And yeah, no one mentioned Sapphire, wierd.

I'm just happy (racist) director Lee Daniels didn't win.
Sally said…
Yeah, the clips of Hughes films did show how good an eye he had for young talent.

Re: Morgan Freeman...All the stories seem to be from summer '09 and all quoting the National Enquirer. Not sure what to make of that. Seems like the kind of story that would stay afloat with updates. Or maybe I'm just wishfully overthinking?
Tracy said…
It must be chaos in LA with all the awards shows. Do people just stay in on Oscar day or are you guys able to get out and about?

Oh, Mariah. I don't know if she's pregnant or not, but she's the biggest she's ever been, so it's possible. When I first saw the dress, it was only from the waist up and I thought she looked fine. but when they panned down it was just really bad. Mariah just has a knack for making really expensive gowns clothes look really cheap. I'm sure that dress is over 2000 dollars. And I'm sure that she instructed her stylist to alter the dress so that the slit came up to her hip instead of her lower thigh. She just looked tacky. She made a designer dress look like it came from Forever 21.

Lord, I did not know that about Morgan Freeman. Wow. That's gross.

And am I the only one who finds Monique insufferable? I know all black women are supposed to support each other, but Monique works my nerves.
Tafari said…
You'r' so right on Sapphire not being mentioned. I didn't consider that last night. Not cool but I guess she got her funds so it may be all good.

On SJP - WTF do ppl see in her. She can't act, she's not attractive & she is just oh never mind.

But my favorite moment was when homeboy got jacked at the mic. That was fucking epic!
Sarah Auerswald said…
Sean Penn -- no idea what he was talking about! And Sarah Jessica Parker, just looked horrible! The hair, the dress, but mostly her tight face when she smiled -- ewww. And the crazy rude lady stealing the mike from her co-producer -- that was really weird.
Liz Dwyer said…
Sam's look was priceless!

Total 3-6-Mafia, except at least she toned things down for the stage. I haven't seen her BET show. Haven't watched BET in forever but I hear that she's real loud on it.

Wishful thinking. She was sitting right next to him all night. Just. Eww.

I know not to drive down Hollywood Blvd on Oscar Sunday but other than that, it's OK. I hear the grocery stores were empty during the awards shows, so at least folks got some easy shopping done. ;)

You are SO right about Mariah's dress prolly costing a mint and straight up looking like it came outta Fashion Bug. I don't really like Mo all that much cuz yeah, she works my nerves too.

Yeah, when that lady stole the mic homie was looking at that woman like he wanted to pop her with his Oscar statue. I hope Sapphire got paid. Hope she got a good deal on that.

I have never ever gotten SJP being attractive. Ever. Or a good actress.

I thought Penn was drunk! SJP was just all kinds of wrong but the hair was the icing on the cake. Weird.
Jeff Bridges - the guy just wouldn't shut up already. I couldn't get past Molly Ringwald's dress which made me grab my shades, and I can't see Mariah Carey without referencing her apocryphal comment about wishing she could be as skinny as starving Ethiopian children.
Dena said…
the BEST part of the oscar's was the dance piece. hands down! the dancers were amazing. i love T's comment....what a cutie pie :)
Liz Dwyer said…
Oh goodness, I could not for the life of me figure out what Bridges was rambling about! I remember that stupid Mariah comment. Pfft. She's confused.

I almost fell off the couch laughing when T said that. He was SO serious when he said it.

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