Post-Christmas Randomness Featuring Marriage, Chai & Nicki Minaj's Booty

Was yesterday good for you? Was it special? Was it just another day? I had a ball because I have zero expectations and I was with my family and friends. It was fun watching my husband check out his homemade coupon book. He has yet to use the "Walk on back" coupon my six year-old included but I'm sure he'll enjoy redeeming it.

Right now I'm lounging on the couch watching old Sherlock Holmes movies and I'm reflecting on all the things that have gone down over the past couple of days. For example:

1) I wish it was Christmas every day because yesterday the normal, high blood pressure inducing LA traffic was reduced to small town levels. It was disorientingly awesome.

2) I went to bed at 4:15 a.m. on Christmas morning because I was up watching White Christmas. My kids woke me up at 5:30 a.m. - I thought I was going to die.

3) I ate so much at Christmas dinner that instead of the usual two or three months pregnant belly I have going on on the regular, I easily looked like I was five months pregnant.

4) The "I look pregnant" belly got me off the couch this morning to run a very hilly 10 miles through Temescal Canyon. Started at around 6:30 this morning and it was 48 degrees. Go, Los Angeles Marathon training!

5) My kids Skyped with one of my best friend's daughters. My youngest asked one sister to marry him and then when she ran away screaming, he asked the other sister. Clearly, we have our work cut out for us.

6) I'm glad I have friends who can cook and who like to cook. And who send me home with LOTS of leftovers. Y'all are awesome and now I have a fridge full of heat-n-serve food for the fam!

7) A bit of advice: When you're on Eastern Time, it's a bad idea to send text messages to people on the West Coast till it's after 12:00 p.m. your time.

8) I got more photo cards than regular Christmas cards this year. I still haven't sent my cards out. I'm trifling.

9) I'm not jealous of all the blizzards and snow storms happening across the country. I entertained my sons yesterday by accessing various live-stream web cams from around Chicago. It's so much better to watch winter happening on a computer screen.

10) Yesterday I wanted to slap someone who said he was happy the Pope got knocked down by that crazy lady. If you hate Catholicism so much you're glad another human being got attacked, you have issues. And you should be ashamed of yourself.

11) I know it's a recession because for the first time in five years, we got no Christmas gift basket from our landlord. I guess it's a good thing because he always gives a basket with a tin of insanely decadent chocolate.

12) Yesterday I watched parts of VH1 Classic's One Hit Wonders of the 80's. I'm still mad that "Come on Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners was #1. I freakin' hate that song and they looked like filthy bums in the video.

13) I cry every time I hear the song "Major Tom" by Peter Schilling.

My crying issue with this song was brought to my son's attention yesterday afternoon because it was part of the One Hit Wonders countdown. If I manage to hold it together through the beginning, I full on sob from about 3:37 - on. They're fascinated and they want answers. I have none. I just cried looking the darn song up on YouTube.

14) Thank you, dear Coffee Bean employees for making me the most delicious chai ever yesterday. I hope you were getting paid a holiday rate.

15) I can't believe my friends and I were discussing Nicki Minaj's fake-looking booty and atrocious rapping skills during Christmas dinner. I suppose I should be glad that half the people at the table were like, "Nicki who?" -- And then we collectively bemoaned the state of hip hop.

16) Nightline wanted to make sure all the sistas out here had a great Christmas Eve. Do we really need yet another "All Y'all Black Women Are Single And Need To Compromise Settle Or Date Outside Your Race" story?

I've put this on my "Blog about this later" list. I wanted to throw something after watching the clip. As if I would EVER listen to Steve Harvey for relationship advice.

17) I don't do Festivus. I know pretty much every holiday is a made up day, but really, doing a holiday started on Seinfeld??? That would be a NO.

18) On Christmas Eve the checkout girl at my local grocery store said, "Oh, I almost didn't recognize you because you look so nice!" I replied back, "You look the same as you do everyday... like you got dropped as a baby." -- OK, no I didn't say it. I said, "Thanks, that's so sweet of you to say!" It wasn't till I was back in my car that I even realized HEY, I just got dealt a backhanded compliment card!

19) I'm very glad the plane bomber was not successful. Thank you, God, that his attempt failed.

20) You all are awesome for reading through my random thoughts. Air kisses to you all!


Jen said…
The perfect day. That's what Christmas should be about - zero expectations and a whole lot of love and good food! And yes, running or whatever the next day.

We had a similar Christmas. BTW... left an e-card at your los.angelista address - not sure if that's the right one.
#16 was a topic at my family's Christmas dinner too...seriously, who bought Steve Harvey's book? They should all be demanding their money back!!!
Tracy said…
"Nicole appears to have it all, and yet she's STILL SINGLE!!!"

Geez, she made it sound like the woman has leprosy or something.

Yes, please do a post on that Nightline story. As a black woman, I am so sick of hearing how much of a failure I am because I'm 29 and not married.
nick said…
Glad you had a good Christmas, Liz. I'm thankful our friends didn't give us their leftovers, we're still chomping our way through our own festive food mountain. Running again on Boxing Day, that is SO self-disciplined!

Talking of high blood pressure, some surgeons in London have developed an operation to cure it. They just burn out some nerves above the kidney which send signals to raise blood pressure. They think the op will be routine in a few years.

Oh, our Christmas, I hear you ask. It was great, just me and Jenny in our new home, some good food, good wine and some fabulous old films like Casablanca. What more do we need?
Unknown said…
HAHAA LOL, that was a hoot as always : "a backhanded compliment card!" ...

Don't you just hate those -

Next year, I SWEAR im gonna watch our Chi snow storm from a webcam!!! UGH 3 days already with no stopping - just an incessant snow - go 'head let it snow ... im looking for a life in Florida IS ANYONE HIRING IN FLORIDA????
sippinwineman said…
@ #13 - I loved this song too, but dumb Peter never listened to David Bowie (he said). "Space Oddity" was NOT an influence on him or his song. He lost a law suit brought by Bowie (or the recording co.)

and for Christ's sake, Don't listen to Steve Harvey !!! jeeeez
Liz Dwyer said…
Yes, the perfect day is all about love and not stressing out over what anybody thinks it should be. I had such a good time with friends and family. And again, thank you for the card! :)

I don't know anybody who bought his book. As if the solution is advice from a thrice married man!

I could write a weeklong series on all the things that irked me about that Nightline clip. But black women can't ever get to thinking they have it going on... oh noes, we need a reminder in the national media that no one wants us. Whatever.

So glad you all had a wonderful Christmas together. A cure for high blood pressure is HUGE news. That would be a relief to so many people.

I hate them mostly because it takes me 20 minutes to realize I just got dealt one! I'm so slow sometimes.

You should do Christmas in LA or Miami -- but we have less bugs!

Did he really get sued? Wowzer... I wonder how much he had to pay Bowie. Love that song tho.

I'm with you on not listening to Steve Harvey. Marry old men? Really?
Daniel said…
Los Angelista,
#4: Good run! On the uphills, try staying on the front/mid part of the foot, run tall and slightly forward. It helps running form and leg strength.

#16: I'm just going to have to ask one someday! And take at least one beautiful woman off that ever-growing list.
Lotus Flower said…
Hahaha, I always laugh whenever that buffoon Steve Harvey gives out "advice" on relationships aka that book "Act like Lady, Think like a Man" or whatever it's called. Coming from a man who's been married three times and did Kings of Comedy. Fool, sit down.
Lotus Flower said…
Oh, and I hope you and the fam had a wonderful holiday season, Liz!
Liz Dwyer said…
I ran some neighborhood hills yesterday and tried that - definitely a good tip. Thanks! I have a feeling whatever lady you ask will be very lucky! :)

AMEN! What's sad is that I'm sure there are women who believe what he says. Go for old men? Yeah, right. Old men who've been whoring around for years, um, no thanks. Anyway, we did have a good holiday. Nice and quiet for sure!

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