Ball of Flames
A couple of neighbors are having a serious argument right now. It doesn't sound like anyone's getting popped in the lip or getting mirrors broken over their heads, thank goodness. But there's an awful lot of screaming and cussing going on. My windows are up and I can hear every word they're saying.
Good grief, they can shout! I'm hearing way more than I need to know about how he's cheated, she stuck with him, she's insecure and bulimic and he's, cough, not that great in bed in the first place.
You know a woman is angry when she goes for the you-suck-in-bed jugular. And women, why exactly do some of us (surely, never yours truly) choose to go there? You can't say something like that without it all going up into a ball of flames.
From what I can gather, this fight started because she told the guy that she's going to vote for McCain because he made a woman his vice president and as a feminist, she has to support a woman.
Oh my gosh, he just yelled at her that it makes no sense for her to support a woman who's against abortion when, "You're the one who aborted the &^@#ing baby I wanted to keep!"
Oh wow. I did not expect that. Poor things. They've been arguing for at least 30 minutes and now it comes out what all this might really be about. I'm sorry for both of them. And, now she's sobbing and thankfully, I can't make out what she's saying. He's not saying anything at all but I hope he's holding her in his arms.
How do they move forward with this weighing on their hearts and souls? Every argument they have will always come back to this.
Tomorrow or the next day, I'll walk by both of them, pretending their windows weren't thrown wide open on a hot summer night for our whole neighborhood to hear their suffering. Right now though, I think I'll close my windows. Being a little hot in here in my apartment won't kill me but hearing her cry just might break my heart.
Good grief, they can shout! I'm hearing way more than I need to know about how he's cheated, she stuck with him, she's insecure and bulimic and he's, cough, not that great in bed in the first place.
You know a woman is angry when she goes for the you-suck-in-bed jugular. And women, why exactly do some of us (surely, never yours truly) choose to go there? You can't say something like that without it all going up into a ball of flames.
From what I can gather, this fight started because she told the guy that she's going to vote for McCain because he made a woman his vice president and as a feminist, she has to support a woman.
Oh my gosh, he just yelled at her that it makes no sense for her to support a woman who's against abortion when, "You're the one who aborted the &^@#ing baby I wanted to keep!"
Oh wow. I did not expect that. Poor things. They've been arguing for at least 30 minutes and now it comes out what all this might really be about. I'm sorry for both of them. And, now she's sobbing and thankfully, I can't make out what she's saying. He's not saying anything at all but I hope he's holding her in his arms.
How do they move forward with this weighing on their hearts and souls? Every argument they have will always come back to this.
Tomorrow or the next day, I'll walk by both of them, pretending their windows weren't thrown wide open on a hot summer night for our whole neighborhood to hear their suffering. Right now though, I think I'll close my windows. Being a little hot in here in my apartment won't kill me but hearing her cry just might break my heart.
Comments
Thanks for the post.
Yeah, you remember that In Living Color skit where they do the Tracy Chapman thing, she’s in that upstairs flat with the window open, hears all the too-close neighbors fighting and carrying on and she’s writing songs about it (which, of course, reminds me of another great skit, and line from it too, “Wrote a song about it, I did”.). I can just picture you like that now. In a good way. (Not makin’ fun of you here, it’s just a ‘funny’).
It is so sad the deep pain and hurt we can carry around. And how, in those explosive moments, people say the worst things, words that can never come back, that the other person will remember forever.
And just why do girls go for the ‘genitals’ when it’s gotten that heated and ugly? ‘Cause it hurts, that’s why! You just delivered the TKO to any guy (because we males all got those “inadequate” worries in our heads, lol)
Daniel (aka SWD)
And of course - voting for a woman, just because she's a woman, is the wrong reason. Someone needs to talk some sense into your neighbor.
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Maybe some forgiveness is in order.
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He does have a point - she is cutting her nose off to spite her face and those of other women as well. Silly - self absorbed ninny! Seriously though if they are to stay together and get past this and that seems unlikely, now that the pink elephant is in the room get it all out. Put all the iss as in issues on the table and get it out. Stuffing all that stuff back in is only going to make it explode again.
Clarice
I'm in full agreement - voting for the X chromosome means nothing next to the facts and the issues. This Sarah Palin person is truly frightening. She's trying to be a 'good old boy' but in reality she's a lapcat of the patriarchy and power crazed to boot. Yikes!
As for your neighbors, it sounds like they've both had some stuff building up for a while. If they're strong, they'll figure things out, if their issues are too much, they'll find out soon enough. But I can't judge - my husband and I have arguments from time to time that have nothing to do with what we're shouting about. It's all part of faults in human communication and how emotions erupt. (And how much we've had to drink...I didn't say that.)
And I don't care who she votes for, it has to be for the right reasons, and it sounds like her reasons are not sound or sane. I hope someone gets the message through in time for the actual election!
I also can't see voting for someone just because they're female, just because they're black, just because of any one factor, or even any two factors.
It requires less thought to vote on identity politics and cultural issues instead of looking at a whole package. That would require people to actually read and independently investigate the truth. Not everyone wants to do that.
I don't think I can even imagine how she feels though... or how he feels either. I can imagine there might be a lot of guilt and regret. I feel sad for them both.
Sundry,
I absolutely agree. I hope the end result is people who are more engaged and active about changing the world.
Daniel,
That skits sounds funny but, I confess I never saw it. I almost never watched TV growing up so pretty much any show other than The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Cosby, A Different World or Fresh Prince...I never saw it. Facts of Life? Never saw it. Friends? Never saw it. Seinfeld? Never saw it till the very last episode.
I've always been a "Rear Window" type of gal and I've always written about it. There are moments though, like last night, when I wish the pain of humanity iwasn't so observable. That sure doesn't stop me from writing about it though, does it? :(
Nick,
They've been together for a couple of years, have always seemed like they're pretty happy. But there's always what you know about people in public, and that tends to be different from what's really going on. They definitely have some deeper issues going on than just political differences.
Citizen,
In some ways, the tales of political vindictiveness are a little HRC-ish, but they are VERY different on policy issues. And can you imagine HRC trying to ban some books at the library? That's called you've got too much time on your hands.
Chani,
I'd never vote for a woman just because she's a woman. And I can't imagine casting a vote for someone on the basis of their blackness. No Marion Barry or that Kwame guy in Detroit for me. But identity politics works very well in our world, sadly enough. Who knows what will happen with is couple. I hope they can work it out.
Toni,
I think he does have a point but maybe, now having had an abortion, she's against it. She didn't get into her thoughts about that because she started crying. I guess I empathize because she still has to live out the rest of her life and so does he and this is clearly a highly emotional thing.
Chani,
Very good point. It's the sort of thing they can't just use as ammo every time they have an argument. They won't last if that's what happens.
Truly.
I feel so sad for these two.
Clarice,
Yes, I know that feeling, where you just want to hurt the person who's hurting you, no matter what, and you may not even remember what initially made you angry in the first place. I know I've said some pretty evil things in my day, but I think I usually go for insults related to a person's intelligence. I think both of my neighbors are angry at each other and there's no way they can stuff all this back in a closet and act like it doesn't exist. It'll always be hovering there between them.
Andraste,
I'm glad you found your way here and joined in. I love the folks who comment here and value their perspectives a great deal.
The more information I find out about Sarah Palin, the more I am simply astounded that this individual has been forward as a real VP option. It's a choice that's immature and arrogant, and assumes that Americans will once more fall for okey-doke cultural wars. Then again, perhaps this is what the final days of the Roman empires felt like.
My neighbors... they will figure it out. I hope they stay together because I like them as a couple a whole lot. They're the sort of couple that always stands very close to each other. I've always liked that.
Maia,
It is awful but there's something about the realness of it all that almost has a bittersweet poignancy to it. I guess it's why I love living in the city where I'm all up in everyone else's kool-aid.
Jen,
I feel sad for them too. Listening to them was like overhearing innocence being stripped away. Any brilliancy you sense is purely fueled by how much their pain affected my heart. And as far as being on fire, I do have a fever of 101 right now. It's terribly unpleasant. :(
These folks need to learn to think things through before acting impetuously, whether the issue be abortion or for which candidate to vote (and the reasons why).
Sigh.
I live in a much more boring neighborhood than you, Liz. That's for sure.
Very, very good post.
There is ALWAYS something going on in this neighgborhood. And lots of impulsiveness as well.
Druzelle,
Thank you so much for the award! I'm so glad to be loved!
Keith,
We're used to voting for people for incredibly shallow and ridiculous reasons. I think history will definitely look back on our politics and cringe.
Yes, when you live in a one bedroom apartment in LA and you have to think about paying for a two bedroom, yeah, that can be scary, but you figure it out, make it work. I have no idea if this is their issue. I tend to think that a lot of folks are flat out scared to have kids. The singles scene is a fun thing here in LA, hard to give it up.
It is incredibly sad. I saw her this morning when she was getting in her car. I so wanted to go run and give her a hug, but I can't.
Jameil,
Everybody does EVERYTHING around here with the windows up and sound carries in such an odd way around here. I always keep that in mind when I'm in the house talking.
Moody Gemini,
I agree. A difference of politics is merely what's on the surface for these two. I'm crossing my fingers and saying a prayer for them.