Don't Call Me at 5:26 AM on My Birthday!

Especially don't call and then hang up the phone when I get up and answer. Really, that's just asking to find out why my family used to sing a little song around me.

"She's so mean and evil, even rain don't fall on her!"

I was sleeping pretty deeply and could have probably slept a full eight hours. But NO, someone named Kimberly C_____ (thank you, Caller ID) had to call my house this morning at exactly 5:26 AM.

I woke up in a total panic when I heard the phone ringing. I mean, only phone calls that start with, "We regret to inform you...," happen at that time in the morning. So OF COURSE I jumped up, and ran to answer.

"Hello?" I was breathless. Freaked out.

Click. The caller hung up.

And that's when I looked at my Caller ID. I did not recognize the name. I remember saying out loud, "Wish I could beat that heffa's ass!" "How nice of her to call!"

I started to call Kimberly back. I mean, is it really so hard to apologize for dialing the wrong number and waking someone up at 5:26 AM? Especially when it's their birthday?

I began dialing. 323-255...

Then a thought of genius proportions came to me! I should call her up tonight at like 3 AM and see how she feels about it!

Yeah, but then I'll probably find out that Kimberly's man is in MS-13 or something.

I know, I have to just let it go. But I'm cranky! I only slept 2 hours between Tuesday morning and Thursday morning (darned insomnia) and managed to finally fall asleep again last night at a little after 1 AM.

Needless to say, I'm a little tired right now. And I just called the police because someone appears to be stealing a silver Mercedes across the street!

Oh yes, this is going to be a birthday to remember!


Anonymous said…
Maybe it is all part of an elaborately planned surprise? Happy Birthday!
thailandchani said…
Well, happy birthday anyway. :) You've just reminded me why I turn my phone off at night.
Liz Dwyer said…
Thanks for the good wishes. Surprises? I don't know...maybe. If not, this will be the first time in my entire life that I'm not having an actual birthday party. We'll see what happens!

That's a good idea to do that. I should just turn the ringer off. If it's really urgent, someone could always call my cell.
Jen said…
I hope the rest of your birthday is better. Have a happy one!
Liz Dwyer said…
Thank you! It's getting better! Besides, being rung up so early in the morning does provide me with some laughs when I think about it. And my car is still parked out back, not stolen! Whew! I am grateful for that!
Unknown said…
Happy Birthday!Just read some of your older entries, so I guess it is befitting to say HAPPY HAPPY FROM THE CHI!!! Sending you a nice cold hug from "The Hawk" and some Michigan Avenue Cheer!
Best regards,
Liz Dwyer said…
Oh yes, Chi-town birthday greetings are most welcome! Thank you!

I have to say that I am spoiled by LA. I am not missing that Hawk at all. Not one bit. Wish I could send some warmer weather your way.
Mes Deux Cents said…

I am very happy that you were born, Happy Birthday!

And the part about her boyfriend being a member of ms13 is so funny and unfortunately a real possibility.

P.s. When I have problems sleeping I have a shot of NyQuil, works like a charm.
Toni Campbell said…
My mother always said that you never answer the phone in the wee hours of the morning because it could only mean that someone died. She said that they will still be dead whenever she wakes up!!
Happy Birthday!!
Creative Magic said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said…
When I get a call like that, sometimes, I immediately call the person back and ask them why they hung up on me. Then, I tell them it's rude and they shouldn't do that. At least offer an explanation like, "Sorry, wrong number". Just a simple "sorry" and hanging up would be fine, too. After going through the trouble of picking up the phone, the least we deserve is an explanation.

But how did she know your husband wasn't a member of MS-13? You could have been anybody, too. I'm concerned that this kind of fear will keep us from confronting strangers when they need to be confronted and have us put up with such behavior as a result. It's important to weigh the risks, but know when to intervene when possible.
Happy Birthday Liz!! So whatcha gonna do?
1969 said…
Happy Birthday Liz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liz Dwyer said…
Thank you for the good wishes! It's so appreciated. Happy early New Year to you!

That is so nice of you to say! Thank you for that. I'm pretty glad I was born, too. ;)

I've tried the NyQuil thing before but it makes me really groggy the next day.

Gosh, I remember the days before I knew what MS-13 was. Ah, such innocence in my youth!

Thanks so much for the birthday wishes. My day has turned out so much better than it started, thank goodness. I suppose I could not answer the phone, but I always wonder if someone's going to call and ask for my help or ask me to come right before someone's going to die. But it's a point well taken. Mothers do know best!

True, I could be anybody! Even I could be in MS13 and get annoyed that Kimberly even called at that time of night. I hadn't even thought about that. I always keep in mind that there is a measure of wariness involving strangers because what if they're crazy and want to shoot me. You know, that sort of thing. But it goes both ways, doesn't it!

Thanks for the good wishes! My day definitely got better! Well I went to a late lunch at Blu Jam on Melrose and then went over to the Grove and watched "The Great Debaters" was SOOOO good. SO GOOD! Whew! Then came home, had carrot cake birthday cake and now I'm watching "The Goonies" with my boys! No big party this year (my kids are shocked) but it's been fun.

Thank you so much! I am so happy to have a dear blog sister such as yourself wish me well!
Anonymous said…
I could hear the excitement leaping off your responses. Yes, Happy Birthday. That must be why you are so excited.

I've lived in LA as a child and so I know the wariness of not making eye contact with people or just really being careful not to look a second too long. Because they might be a gang member and pick a fight with you for disrespecting their personal space. But I was surprised that this fear was a part of your phone interactions. Perhaps you are afraid that they will look up your address through reverse directory assistance and come over. It can happen. But that's really sad that it has come to this.
Happy birthday, Liz! I'm so very glad you're here.

Rudeness comes and goes, but birthdays are forever. Enjoy this one until the next comes along.
Jameil said…
lol. again happy birthday!!!! you know i love bdays! i had to look up MS-13. so sheltered. lol. i'm all for you calling her!
Liz Dwyer said…
I don't walk around in fear because I've met too many interesting people that were initially strangers, but the thought did cross my mind that it just might not be a good idea to ring up this person. I suppose I'm listening to my instinct to leave it alone.

I'm glad I'm here too because then I can come over and read your blog! LOL!

Trust me, I had no clue who MS-13 was till I moved here. The only gangs I knew about first hand were Chicago ones: Vice Lords, Black P. Stones, Latin Kings, Disciples...all that's definitely changed now.

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