Did My Neighbors Break Up?

I'm beginning to suspect that my neighbors across the hall have broken up. I've been so busy over the past couple of weeks that I only realized last night that I haven't seen the female half of the duo in at least that amount of time.

I swear, no one who lives in that apartment can stay together. It's like it's got bad relationship karma oozing out of the walls. It doesn't matter if they're seriously dating, get engaged, have a baby together or are married. It all falls apart. Over the past six years that I've lived here I've witnessed lots of antics by my neighbors. Here's a summary of the relationships:

1) Crazy Claudia and Tattoo Artist: They were living together. She got pregnant, had the baby, and then for reasons unknown, he moved out. (Probably because he realized she was CRAZY!) She later moved out too...which I was psyched about because she was...crazy! I did not miss her obsessive compulsive vacuuming at two in the morning.

2) Save the World Girl and Smokin' Hot Guy: She'd been working for an NGO in Haiti and left that life to come to LA to be with Hot Guy. I mean, he was smokin' hot...and, unsurprisingly, things did not work out. Heartbroken once more, she left to go save the world again.

3) Snobby Brunette and Friendly Boy: They moved in together. He was friendly when I'd see him in the hallway. She could barely speak. And then he proposed to her her. There were a few doors slammed and some yelling in the hallway. Nothing major. But then I came back from being away from two weeks and they were gone. Someone else told me a year ago that she'd broken off the engagement.

So that brings me to the current pair. And did I mention, she's my landlord's daughter.

4) Landlord's Daughter and Guy of Unknown Status: We've never been sure if they're married or if he's just the baby daddy and they're living together. She's nice. He doesn't talk much.

They've had those moments when she was yelling, "Pendejo!" out the door and throwing his clothes into the hallway. But eventually they'd kiss and make up.

Come to think of it though, we haven't seen her or the baby in like a month. I suppose she could be on vacation, on some sort of exotic getaway. But I don't think so because we have an unspoken rule in this building: Only one tenant at a time gets to take a cool trip and my neighbors downstairs have already filled the "cool trip" spot. They went to Morocco for three weeks and they came by before they left to let us know they'd be gone.

Guy of Unknown Status is still over there though. And his beer guzzling buddies have been over to hang out quite frequently. That's another sign! You can't turn your place into a bachelor pad if your girl is still around. No woman is going to put up with a bunch of guys rolling through the door with cases of beer every other night.

Yes, I have a distinct feeling it's over and I wouldn't be surprised if he moves out sometime soon too.

For real, I don't think anyone who lives in that apartment can stay together.


BZ said…
Interesting observation. I'm curious who's next. You could almost write a book with a series of vignets about the couples.

I'm in a brownstone, so I have no one next to me. But, I have people above me. A couple. She's wicked nice. He has small man complex. He walks around super heavy to assert his presence. And they have the nerve to have a treadmill ABOVE MY BEDROOM! They were using that ish at like 10pm one night, I had to go and tell them about themselves. The late-night workouts have ceased.

What's interesting is, with everything else I can hear up there - and I mean everything, I never hear them having sex. They fight from time to time. Hmmmm Damn, I'm nosey!
That apartment has bad relationship karma for sure.

It seems odd that he would remain when she is the landlord's daughter, though. And you're right about the beer buddies. That's a sure sign of a relationship that is history.

Once the "pendejos" begin, it's all downhill from there.
Jameil said…
lmao!!! you are lookin like the nosy neighbor lady!!
Mes Deux Cents said…

As you would say, Wowzer! I hope you are working on the screen play. I love those vignette type films, this would make a great one, as BZ said.


Unfortunately I hear my next door neighbors having sex like clockwork twice a week. You should be happy your neighbors don't! It always creeps me out.
Anonymous said…
Sounds like a Seinfeld episode. Although, I remember once when Thumper was traveling a lot one of my neighbors asked if we were separated.
It's amazing to me how much, and how little, we know about our neighbors. I mean, I've seen my neighbor naked and he's seen me in my pjs. Not a lot of people can say that. But I didn't know his NAME for 5 months - just what he looked like without clothing. lol!

Well, I guess the drama will unfold.
Liz Dwyer said…
Maybe instead of running on the treadmill at 10 PM they needed to get another sort of late-night workout going. LOL! Weird that you never hear them. One of the neighbors downstairs has a regular trail of girls in and out of there and gosh, there's been moments I've felt like I was in living in a college dorm again with all the yelling going on.

I've wondered why she's gone and he's still there since her parents own the building. But I can see her taking the baby and moving back in with her parents or with one of her sisters. If it's truly over, I doubt he'll be there for long.

I know. I totally am the nosy neighbor lady. Just think how dangerous I'd be if I had a stoop to sit on!

A screen play wouldn't be a bad idea. I am actually considering taking a screen writing class in the new year. We'll see.

I never hear anybody but the guy underneath us and that's more than enough for me.

Gosh, what did you say? That's awkward, huh!

Yeah, I don't know the names of some of my neighbors or what they're into. They seriously could be doing anything and everything and I'd have not a clue.
Liz Dwyer said…
Wow, it's almost midnight and Guy of Unknown Status is having a PARTY! Um, it's Wednesday night, homie! Cut the music and the laughter so this insomniac can pretend to sleep.
Anonymous said…
I had to laugh because I knew that most of the neighbors on that street watched us closely at first. I don't know if they expected some crazy things to come from the house of the persian girl married to the guy with the dreads. But eventually we bonded and we actually miss them now that we've moved.
Liz Dwyer said…
That's really funny! It's like they're checking out to see if you're a normal couple or not because in some circles, you all are not the norm. I can totally see that and isn't it cool to think that one day that won't happen?

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