When Your Friend Believes Zombies Are Real

A friend of mine believes that zombies are real. Sounds crazy? Well, after this week's headlines about the "Miami Zombie" who chewed off a homeless man's face, the Maryland college student who killed his roommate and ate his brain, and the Canadian porn actor who killed, dismembered, and ate his victim, my friend is in total I TOLDYA SO mode.

He says the government is covering up the existence of zombies, just like they cover up the presence of extraterrestrial beings on the planet. He's not alone in thinking this way. Folks are so freaked out over zombies that the spokesman for the Centers for Disease Control has had to publicly deny that there is "a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead--or one that would present zombie-like symptoms."

The fact that the CDC has deigned to weigh in on such a seemingly crazy belief--zombies are real--has set my friend into a conspiracy-theory frenzy. "They're trying to lull us back into ignoring what is happening," he told me. "It's just like the Matrix..."

You know when folks pull the Matrix card out of their back pocket there is no winning the argument. It didn't matter that I told him that serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer wasn't a zombie, but he still managed to kill at least 17 people and engaged in cannibalism. "Well how do we really know that Dahmer wasn't really a zombie?" he asked.

Sigh. Because Dahmer was alive when he did all this stuff! Just like the so-called Miami Zombie--and all the rest of these people--were alive. However, the girlfriend of the Miami cannibal doesn't believe he was a zombie or that he took drugs that made him want to chew up his victim. She believes something that's soooo much more plausible in my book: a voodoo curse was put on him. Don't laugh. I am WAY more inclined to believe in voodoo then to think zombies are real--and not just because I saw the Skeleton Key, either.

But c'mon, if you know history at all, you know that we don't need zombification or voodoo to sink to the depths of depravity. Nazi Germany, anyone? The Tulsa race riots of 1921? Maybe we're blaming these horrors on the supernatural because we don't want to believe that humans are capable of doing such horrible things to each other. Either that or my friend is right and there really is a government conspiracy.


nick said…
I think you're dead right, Liz, we blame the supernatural (or the Devil or drugs or violent movies) rather than admit that some people are just hopelessly depraved and capable of utterly inhuman activities. There's no explanation other than a seriously addled brain.
Rosita said…
Can it be both? I do believe we don't like to see the depravity of human beings. That is why there are so many people who deny history. However, the governement does like to cover things up...although maybe zombies are a strech.
Liz Dwyer said…
Agreed. The guy who ate his roommate apparently had a long history of violence/mental health issues. But I guess no one thought he'd go "there" and eat his roommate!

That's a really interesting perspective. I don't think zombies can exist, but I am sure the govt is covering up LOTS of other things.

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