The 13 Strangest Search Terms That Brought Your Poor, Unsuspecting Soul to This Blog

When you’re having chest pains-and I am-it’s not easy to take your mind off of things and relax. I really needed something to make me laugh tonight, so I decided to check out the most recent search terms bringing people to this site. Seriously, sometimes they're so bizarre, they totally crack me up!

As I chuckled through the terms, I started to think about how I used to do a weekly meme called the Thursday Thirteen. The meme was great fun to do, but one day the organizers fell off the face of the earth and stopped curating the posts. A bit of searching led to my discovery that some new organizers have put the meme sharing community together again. So, I'm reviving Thursday Thirteen on this blog! Appropriately, our first born again Thursday Thirteen is:

The 13 Strangest Search Terms That Brought
Your Poor, Unsuspecting Soul to This Blog

All the terms are verbatim. I swear.

1) Does lilwayne have female hormones in his body? Clearly somebody skipped their high school biology class. Yes, Wayne has estrogen-the female hormone-in his body. In fact, all men have estrogen in small amounts and women have small amounts of testosterone-the male hormone in their bodies. Science lesson over.

2) Big booty pitchers of Beyonce: Alas, I do not own a Beyonce pitcher. All I can say is that sometimes spell check is not your friend. You actually have to know the difference between the homophones picture and pitcher.

3) my nighbor is werid: But has he barfed on you yet? If not, I win the weird neighbor competition.

4) irish girl nappy hair: I prefer the term “highly textured crown of afro-fantastica glory" but clearly, you want to use the word nappy. And on Irish girls? Sure, why not?

5) Mariah Carey high yellow baby: As far as I know, Mariah has not yet let loose the eggos in her preggo. I have no idea what color her child-or is it twins?-will be. And I don't care. But trust me when I say that you sound like you're stuck in the Racial Dark Ages when you use terms like "high yellow". Cut it out, mmkay?

6) los angelista big booty girl: In the era of Booty Pop panties, having a sizable posterior is not necessarily a bad thing. However, I’m going to assume that this person meant to search for “Los Angeles big booty girl”, not “Los Angelista”. Actually, I kinda hope that’s the case.

7) ia slavery a proposition: I believe you’re referring to the 1863 book Slavery is Sinful by one Jeremiah Smith. You can read it online here. Or you can take my word for it that the author disagrees with the abolitionist perspective that slavery was sinful. Smith just hates slavery because he doesn’t want to have to live around "negroes". Period. For example:

and how aboutGood grief. This mess sounds like it was written by some of the crazies of the modern era.

8) slap white people touching black peoples hair. Um, no. Don’t t slap anybody. That’s assault. You can get in trouble for that. Just tell them you have a hashtag with #DoNotPetMyAfro” on it. .

9) black women fetish: Really you should get over it. Just love black women for being unique, wonderful and beautiful. Our purpose in life is not to be a fetish for losers like you.

10) I hate Lexus commercials: Can I get an amen up in the church? There’s nothing I hate more than the materialistic pomposity of Lexus commercials. They’re especially bad around the holidays with that “December to Remember” crap. Ugh!

11) I went my hend back and forth muic: Can’t folks out there in the magical sparkly world of the interwebs spell even a little bit? I’m no spelling bee champion but this one gets the Epic Fail Award of the day. I’m guessing this travesty is, “I whip my head back and forth music”.

12) Don’t go chasing waterfalls power rangers: Just like chocolate and peanut butter joined together in holy matrimony, here comes TLC’s hit song “Waterfalls” and the Power Rangers! Rock on! (Yeah, I have nothing else to say about this one.)

13) Penis pop underwear. One year ago I wrote about the aforementioned Booty Pop Panties and I said, "I wonder, what's next? Padded underwear for men? Yeah, just wait till men start wearing Penis Pop Panties. Forget socks and Viagra! Get the Penis Pop Panty!"

I should've kept my mouth shut because the Penis Pop underwear are here for 2011! The plus side? Now you know what to get the guy in your life who can't stop wearing Ed Hardy Affliction shirts!

And that's 13 of the weirdest, most bizarre search terms from the past week. Thanks for laughing (or cringing) along with me!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!


Janet said…
Re: #8 - I recently watched Chris Rock's Good Hair...interesting!
Liz Dwyer said…
I've only seen part of Good Hair and I didn't like it. Should I watch the whole thing?
Rockin' Mama said…
You are HILARIOUS! And that is the strangest list of search terms!!!
Unknown said…
Liz -- We recently watched Good Hair too and thought it was well done (humorous, informative on the chemical stuff and the people in the business that make them, etc.) What did you not like about it?
Anonymous said…
You haven't lost your sense of humor and I haven't bought any penis-pop undies. Be well, my dear. You are valuable.
Lotus Flower said…


People are such pervs.

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