That Old Black Magic

I got up bright and early this morning and finally got to uploading some of the video I took at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe last Friday night. The time I spent listening to the poets was really good for me, really artistically nourishing. I'm so glad I got a little footage to remind me of the experience.

On the night that I went there, I was having such a good time that I didn't leave till around 2 AM. I gave my husband a call right away so I could rave about the experience. And then I asked him how his day had been.

He didn't want to tell me because he said he didn't want to put a dark cloud on my evening. I made him talk though and he told me a story of complete and total insanity. So crazy, in fact, that it made me feel a little sick to my stomach. Okay, maybe that nausea was just the lurching of the taxi I was in, but still, I'm completely convinced that out here in LA, we definitely do crazy much better than anyone else.

Let me tell you about it:

My eldest son has been friends with a girl we'll call "Emily" for the past two years. He's had an innocent crush on "Emily" since they met in Pre-K and he sometimes tells me he's going to marry her. She's a sweet little girl and they get along really well. They mostly see each other in school but occasionally, since she lives right down the hill, we run into her and her family at our neighborhood park.

Since she's my son's friend, he wanted to invite her to my other son's birthday party a couple of weeks ago. No problem, right? Her entire family came and they had a great time, etc. Emily's mom, "Lucy", suggested that we all go trick or treating together and the kids were psyched about that. Sure enough, the entire family did indeed come along on our annual trick or treating jaunt through Los Feliz.

Emily's father, "Nate", seemed to be in a weird mood on Halloween but I didn't pay too much attention to him because I figured he was either tired or didn't really want to be there. Either way, there was nothing I could do about that. Besides, I spent most of my time talking to the mom about family, balancing life, the know, "mom" type stuff.

Well, Friday morning, my husband ran into Nate when he took our kids to school. Since they were going the same way, my husband walked home with Nate, and Nate decided to drop this bomb: Lucy cheats on him with other women and has done so for twenty years. She practices the "dark arts" and casts spells on other women so that they're attracted to her. Once Lucy's cast a spell, there''s nothing the target can do because the spell's so powerful.

I'll admit, when I heard all this, I laughed a little because it just seemed so ridiculous. Clearly, someone's been inhaling too much car exhaust. I have never gotten this kind of vibe from Lucy at all. She seems like a nice lady and I've always felt like she was just genuinely friendly with no kind of weird, dark arts type stuff going on. But my husband assured me that Nate is dead serious.

And guess who Lucy's latest target is? Um, yeah. Yours truly! Great, just great.

I said to my husband, "Did you make it clear that he has nothing to worry about since I'm not down for that kind of thing?"

Apparently that doesn't matter because according to Nate, Lucy's going to put me under her spell by cooking for me. She'll cook and then create a situation where it'd be socially rude for me to not eat her food.

What's she gonna do to the food, you ask? That's a GREAT question!

Here comes the NC-17 part so you can just skip to the next paragraph RIGHT NOW if you don't want to know the "how" of this. But for those of you who are like me, the train wreck watching type, Lucy apparently cooks these special dishes using some "juice" from "down there". (Eww. I'm grossed out just typing that.) Then once the victim eats this doctored up food, they go bananas for Lucy!

I'd be more inclined to believe that her secret ingredient is some of that date rape drug. But that's what Nate claims she does. In fact, Nate talked to my husband for quite some time and told my him all the sordid details of Lucy's past exploits. I'll spare you all the graphic details but it apparently started after Lucy began investigating Scientology. Apparently, she got extra close with her Scientology teacher but finally decided not to become a Scientologist when she moved on to someone else. Nate says he stays for their kids but he just wanted to warn us because he's seen this happen for 20 years and really doesn't want me to fall victim to Lucy's spells.

So after turning this over in my head, I've decided:

Option One: Nate's crazy and making it all up because he's a weird controlling type, and doesn't want his wife influenced by me. After all, when they were over here for the birthday party, I did tell them how I don't really do dishes because my husband has two hands...maybe he's abusive of her and doesn't want her to have friends that don't believe the woman's place is in front of the sink.


Option Two: Lucy's crazy and really believes she has some sort of dark magic power. Yeah, maybe Lucy truly believes she's going to turn me out. This is just so laughable on so many levels, but you never know what fantasies folks can cook up in their heads.


Option Three: They're both crazy and are hoping me and my husband are swingers or something. Maybe Nate was trying to feel out my husband to see how receptive he'd be to some sort of threesome, foursome type ish.

Regardless, the first thing that ran through my mind is that there's no more of my kids hanging out with the little girl, Emily. I don't know what the heck is going on in their house but my primary responsibility is to protect my kids and all that dark magic mess is just a little bit too out there for me.

Like I said, we clearly do crazy really well here in Los Angeles. It's going to be really interesting when I see Lucy and Nate again. I'm sure it'll be this afternoon.


Jameil said…
ok clearly you have to keep us updated!!! super bizarre.
Jameil said…
btw, you're showing off liz!! everyone else is feeling a bit peaked from the daily posts ALREADY and you're over here dropping 2 and 3 a day!!! HMPH!!! maybe its already the magic working.
That is so wrong on so many, many levels. I'd encourage you to practice some psychic boundaries (email me if you're interested) around this person. Whether it's true or not, the husband BELIEVES it's true. One persons belief gives energy to that belief and wha la,it's real.

REMEMBER, if you believe it will work, it will work. That's how all dark magic works. You must force yourself on every level to not believe that she can effect you or your family.
Lisa Blah Blah said…
Whew! That is a shame, on many levels. I completely support your decision to dissociate yourself from this family, hard as it may be for your son. What a bummer, and how bizarre!
Toni Campbell said…
Wow! You don't have anything to worry about. I am not a practitioner of wicca but have read a little something about it and the legitimate (?) spell books all say that you can't put a spell on someone who isn't receptive to it. If it were true then I should have done it a long time ago on Maxwell, Will Smith, Denzel Washington, etc, etc, etc.
Malik Akbar said…
Haha! Down south we call that "puttin' roots" on people. And that particular, er, recipe, isn't unheard of.

But on a real, you're right not to let your kids be around Emily's parents for one minute. And maybe you can suggest to the school guidance counselor that she keep an eye on Emily, because you're worried about things you've observed about her home life.
Mes Deux Cents said…

Wow! Yikes! Geeze Louise! (lol) I live in northern California and believe me you SoCal people don't have anything on us! I've heard crazy stories like this before.

I think the husband was feeling out your husband absolutly. They are definatly swingers. He was hoping your hubby would be interested and want to hear more, that's the trap.

This must be how some swingers recruit, by dropping little stories about their mates exploits to get a reaction.

Anyway you're a writer so file this incedent away, I'm sure one day you will be able to fit it in a storyline! (lol)
West said…
Holy $#!+ on a stick!
Mes Deux Cents said…

I just turned my ipod on and that reminded me that I was meaning to tell you that I downloaded my first Depeche Mode song this weekend. This time I dwnloaded Personal Jesus. I had heard of them and knew that once I heard a song or two it would jog my memory, which it did.

I'll probably dwnload a few more in the future.
Jen said…
I'm jealous you were at the Nuyorican Poets cafe! I'm not jealous of your neighborhood situation - that's a shame.
Anonymous said…
What the FedEx?
Liz Dwyer said…
Totally bizarre, right! I just don't get what's wrong with folks. I didn't see them after school today though. I suppose that's a good thing! And LOL...there must be some magic in the air. As of today, I've decided to update my other, slightly abandoned book and music blog as well. Maybe I can start posting on that every day as well!

I agree that beliefs about things totally make stuff happen. I do worry about what else one or both of them might attempt to do but not in a magical sense. I worry in the sense that crazy people can do stuff like try to snatch your kids or stalk you. That sort of thing wigs me out. I'm curious about the psychic boundary thing. I believe you can pray for that the same thing?

For real! I've been saying exactly that for about two days!

It's going to be really hard for them. Both of my boys love the little girl, but there's just no go on this one. And of course, my eldest son will eventually ask why we can't go to the park with Emily. Ugh.

LOL on putting a spell on Maxwell! I am right there with you! Thank goodness I am definitely not receptive to this sort of thing. I'm not receptive at all.

Eww! I'd never heard of that before. Putting roots...more like I want to put a boot in someone's behind if they step to me trying to get me to eat any doctored up food. I have thought about letting someone at the school know since they are mandatory reporters I don't know what would happen with that though.

I used to work so much that I think I just was unaware of what kinds of things people were into because I just worked and came home. I have been thinking that it might be a swinging thing too. And yeah, this is quite the storyline. I'm sure it's more common than we think.


Congrats on getting a DM song! PJ is a good one to start with If you were here you could come out to the DM party on the 16th. In the meantime, enjoy the ones on the iPod.

It was fabulous to be at the Nuyorican. I can't wait to go back again. I've never performed any of my poetry in pubic before. I wonder if I'll get my courage up one of these days.
Liz Dwyer said…
It makes you wonder, doesn't it? I mean, who really knows what goes on behind closed doors.
That is the craziest thing I've heard in a very long time.
Anonymous said…
what i want to know is how did your husband respond? in the moment of the conversation... i mean what do you do when someone's revealing ALL of this crazy stuff to you? i mean, its not really one of those moments that calls for understanding and sympathy is it? ohhhh my. i have no idea what i would have said. probably a lot of "ah ha. yeah. okay." with a lot of mental filtering going on... i don't know, though.

Liz Dwyer said…
Me too. I'm right there with you!

He said he started to feel sick and there was definitely alot of "Well, Liz isn't like that," over and over again. And then he made up a story about being late for an appointment just so he could get away.
Monday's Child said…
what an odd story!!! fascinating tho... it does seem a shame that you have to break off relations with mother "Lucy" and daughter "Emily" because of what "Nate" SAYS... maybe you should just come out directly and ask "Lucy" or both of them what the hell that was about? If option 1 is correct both mother and daughter might need your friendship more than you can imagine.

I guess it's hard tho, 'cos you're thinking of your kids and trying to protect them.

For some reason, my heart just went out to Emily... whichever way you look at the situation, she is not in a good place.

I agree with Malik when he suggests you have a word with the guidance counsellor at school.

Take care.
Liz Dwyer said…
Monday's Child,
I thought about that too, that the husband's goal might be to try to isolate his wife, and I thought about asking her, but I don't want to get all up in the mix of their drama. I feel horrible for Emily. Absolutely horrible. It makes me fee sick just thinking about it.

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