I'm Never Drinking Rock Star Energy Drink Again!

I drank a can of that Rock Star energy drink about nine hours ago and I'm telling you, I'm still buzzed. I even went back to the park for a second jog and I swear, my right eyelid is twitching. I had no idea the stuff would affect me like this!

I have lost the ability to focus on just one thing...and that's totally fine since there's lots of things going through my head. Here are a few:

1) I'm Still Feeling Foster's Pig Tattoo:
Almost a week later, I still think the pig is awesome. Only in NYC would I see this tattoo. I just can't picture a pig and a carrot going down as an LA tattoo. I'm also still loving Foster's explanation about these.

Come to think of it, my nickname as a child was "bunny". Maybe I should get a carrot like Foster's.

But I don't like pain and I've heard tattoos hurt...and two weeks later, I'd be trying to remember why exactly I decided to get a carrot on my shoulder.

So much for that idea. What else?

2) I hate Jay-Z:
Even though I was in NYC last weekend, I did not go see the movie American Gangster. Yawn. Another glamorized drug dealer. Yawn again.

And I didn't buy Jay-Z's "American Gangster" cd either. But get me a bonfire and I'll toss one in there for you.

Every time I hear Jay-Z spitting his stories about how he came up selling drugs and committing other various criminal actions, I want that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald to find something that the statute of limitations hasn't run out on. Next time he alludes to his drug money, someone arrest Shawn Carter. (And throw Beyonce in there with him. Sentence her to three months without hair weaves, okay!)

I'll keep it real and tell y'all that I believe drug dealers should get the death penalty. They're killing other people, aren't they?

Plus, not only am I sick of Jay-Z's glamorization of drug dealing, I will also forever hate him because of his "Jigga, My Nigga" song. In case you're not familiar, here's the catchy chorus:

(Jigga) What's my motherfuckin name?
(Jigga) And who I'm rollin with huh? (My niggaz) Uh-huh-uh-uhh-uhh-uhh Niggaz better get it right, bitches better get it right, WHO?

That song came out in the summer of 1999 and it was played all the time on the radio. The n-word was bleeped out on radio, but at parties, everyone, black, white, Latino and Asian, would sing it out loud. I really blame this song for the proliferation of the "n-word" in music. It made it mainstream. Jay-Z made it cool to say it. He's burning in hell for that one. For real.

Did I already say that I can't stand Jay-Z? Well, let's move on to Damon Wayans.

3) Someone PLEASE Slap Damon Wayans. Damon went on The View and agreed that those Rutgers women were "nappy headed hoes". Oh, he also thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen cooking. Don't believe he's really that dumb? Here's the proof:

Is he going to have to apologize for his remarks? Somehow, I highly doubt it because someone has passed around a memo that it's okay for black men to get up in public and disrespect black women. According to Damon, it's a "cultural thing". Yeah, let me make my foot in his ass a cultural thing too.

4) But, even though I wish Damon Wayans and Jay-Z would disappear, I'm proud of Chas Reynolds:
Chas is one of my good friends out here in LA. He used to be a teacher in Compton and I was his supervisor through Teach For America. He was a great teacher but he was thankfully smart enough to follow his dreams into the entertainment business.

He's had a couple of very cool jobs with lots of cool perks, but after he started his blog, I became convinced that he needed to be writing for Rolling Stone. He's well on his way to doing just that with his latest gig writing for Artist Direct. Check out his thoughtful interview with up and coming hip hop artist, Gorilla Zoe. I'm so proud of him! Go Chas! And when you get the chance to interview Depeche Mode, remember your girl!

5) Speaking of Depeche Mode: There's going to be a Depeche Mode party next Saturday night the 17th at this place in Downtown LA. It's officially for some of the Depeche Mode albums that are being remastered. But really, it's a great excuse to come and dance to lots of great Mode remixes. I'll be there with one of my Depeche Mode shirts on:

The Grand Star Jazz Club (second floor)
943 North Broadway
Los Angeles (Chinatown), CA. 90012
$5 before 10p - $10 after - and no you can't bring your kids with you because it's 21+

Also, if you're some weird stalker, just stay home. Seriously, I really don't want to meet you and I'm not at all cute in person. Plus, I talk a lot and I like to dance so you'll never even get the chance to whisper your stalkery threats to me. And the slightly bored looking black guy with me...that'll be my husband.

Besides, there's plenty of great Depeche Mode music on YouTube. Stay home and watch/listen to those instead. Here's one to help you calm down. It's a rare acoustic version of "Nothing's Impossible". And come to think of it, as much as I really dislike Jay-Z, he did give Depeche Mode a shout out on his latest record. Maybe we shouldn't send him to the gallows after all.

Gosh, I promise, no more Rock Star energy drinks for me!


Mes Deux Cents said…
Hi Liz,

I hope all of that energy drink is out of your system by now. (lol)

I also hate Joe Camel. For me it started with the song 'I have 99 Problems, but a B#%$& ain't one'. Beyonce is on my short list of annoying people who has never said anything interesting in her life.

Enjoy Depeche Mode, I'm still rockin' Personal Jesus.

Jameil said…
LMAO!!!! i soooooo think we should give you that drink everyday if it produces posts like this one!! HILARIOUS!! love it. a second jog?? wow... that's how i am w/starbucks. this girl @ work offered me a red bull the other day and i was afraid to try it.

i really don't like foster's tatts. they are bizarre and mildly scary to me. i've never been a tatt person, but i've been contemplating it for the last year or so. i'm just so picky i don't know what to get. tatts hurt more when you get them somewhere that's not meaty. lmao @ carrot on the shoulder & saving jay for the DM reference. LOVE THIS POST!!
Dena said…
it's really impressive how you can connect depeche mode to just about anything!

and congrats to your hubby! what a great feat...way to go E! (i'll send him an email :-)
Ian Lidster said…
Wow, my dear, there is almost too much here to address.

But let me say the only time you should get a tattoo is if you are too drunk or stoned to think sensibly. Then you get to have a lifetime to regret your decision.

I'm old fashioned. I think the only people who should have tattoos are sailors and criminals.
DJ Black Adam said…
Tell me about it, I drank a Rock Star and was up for 36 hours, them drinks don’t play!

As for brother Damon Wayans, Damon Wayans is a ComediAIN’T. Self hating black man that constantly disrespects Black women, their self deprecating humor is tired and old, as is for most of the lot of these so-called “Black” BET Comic View - Def Comedy jam sycophants who cater to the LOWEST Common denominator..
Dena said…
ok...i accidentally checked a box so all of your comments get forwarded to my email account...no! i didn't want that to happen :-) how do i get it off?
Dena said…
never mind...i figured it out! have a good day....
1969 said…
I love Jay Z so I'm staying out of this one....but I love Depeche Mode so hopefully I'm still in your good graces. Have a great weekend and leave the energy drinks alone!
DJ Black Adam said…
At the request of my blog sister Los Angelista, another open letter to Patrick J. Fitzgerald United States Attorney:

Patrick J. Fitzgerald United States Attorney

United States Attorney's Office Northern District of Illinois Eastern Division

219 S. Dearborn St., 5th Floor

Chicago, IL 60604

Phone: (312) 353-5300 Fax: (312) 353-2067

Dear Mr. Fitzgerald,

Since it seems like your colleague, David E. Nahmias, United States Attorney Northern District of Georgia is getting more press than you (undeservedly so in my opinion) as he is prosecuting T.I. on weapons charges (why he hasn’t brought charges against T.I. for his sorry arse production skills is still a mystery to me), I suggest you bring charges against JAY Z!

He always seems to brag about how he “came up” selling drugs in his songs, since he recently performed these types of songs at a concert at the House of Blues in Chicago, can’t you have the US Marshalls, DEA, ATF or the FBI Arrest him? Besides should calling yourself “Jigga” be enough to arrest someone? At least can some rabbinical court press charges against him for having the audacity to call him self H.O.V.A.?

I’m just saying, get back in the game and arrest “Jigga”!

Anyway, keep up the good work!

Your fan DJ Black Adam
Sundry said…
Whew! I think _I'm_ gonna crash a little hard from the energy of that post. Hee. You're a fun trip, Liz!
Jen said…
On my mommy's place blog today she was ranting because there was a Barney commercial using DePeche Mode. Scary.

And I SO agree about Jay-Z
Liz Dwyer said…
I was up all night, feeling like I needed to take run number three. Goodness, I can't believe folks drink those things regularly.

Unfortunately, Jay almost always gets great production so folks love the tracks regardless of the message. And can someone please take Beyonce to the side and help her sound halfway intelligent? I'm sure she can do it if she just tries!

I really don't know what possessed me to drink that mess yesterday! My pulse is still way fast. Whoo wee! I can't imagine drinking a can of that every day! -- you see why my sister jokes that it's a good think I don't use drugs or drink, right! Bizarre and mildly scary...that's probably why I like those tats. I'm crazy, I know.

Yeah, I have Depeche Mode on the brain all the time. I could probably connect DM to hamsters if necessary. LOL! And do send him an email! Wish you could be at the get-together tonight.

I know! I'm a little overwhelmed rereading everything I wrote! You make me think about how I was watching some old AC/DC and Judas Priest videos the other day and they didn't have tattoos - at least none that I could see! It's funny how you get these 20 year old wanna be rockers that have full tattoo sleeves! Jeepers, at least work up to that level over 20 or 30 years!

I might be headed in that direction. Goodness, I don't even feel tired. Is this what being high feels like? I've never used drugs so I don't know...but I am sure not myself right now! And Damon Wayans, I hope someone calls for a boycott of every project he's involved in.

You mean you don't want all the comments coming your way??? LOL, glad you figured out how to fix it because I don't know how!

I'll give you a Jay Z pass since you're down with Depeche Mode. Plus, I think you're awesome so we can agree to disagree! And believe me, I'll be passing on the energy drinks for sure!

LOVE IT!!! See, that's what I'm talking about! Get him Fitzy! Get him!

I think I'm probably going to crash a little hard too. I'm sure it'll happen just when the folks I'm having over tonight arrive.

Gosh, was Barney singing "Personal Jesus" or something? or "Master and Servant"? That could get a little weird!
Toni Campbell said…
I am so afraid of energy drinks. I have never had one, but even when I just look at a can my heart starts palpitating. Too scary!! And I'm not gonna lie, I love Jay-Z. I would try to stalk him while I'm in NYC, but I've already made plans to stalk Jesse L. Martin!
This post was hilarious. B would die without her weave!

Speaking of hair. The hairdresser I told you about is Kari Williams @ Mahogany Hair revolution. Young sister just opened her own salon. 323-782-9909.
Liz Dwyer said…
Over 24 hours later I finally think I'm starting to crash a little bit! Yeah, stay away from energy drinks. Stay FAR away! Noooo on the Jay-Z but yeah on Jesse! LOL!

Oh yes, she would totally die without the weave. Funny thing is I swear I remember an interview with her after she did Austin Powers where she said she was going to start wearing her hair natural. I guess that wasn't bringing the checks in like she wanted it to. And THANK YOU for the info on the stylist. THANK YOU!!! :)Gosh, I'm having an I love the internet/blogging/connecting moment!
the last noel said…
I HATE when I get hopped up like that. One night, I drank one of those drinks and had intense nightmares and I woke up with it still in my system. I went running and it was after mile 6, that I felt myself get back to normal. Oh, and I couldn't BELIEVE that Daman said those things.
My great aunt got a tattoo a few months ago, a butterfly on her ankle. She is 86 years old.

My point: No rush on this. Just think about it for a few more decades.
Liz Dwyer said…
I didn't have nightmares, thankfully. I just couldn't sleep. Last night around 12:30, I finally nodded off. Maybe I should have kept going when I went running and done six miles instead of two. And Damon...he really needs to apologize, but I'm sure he won't.

I love that she just got a tattoo! That's fabulous. I see shows like that Kat Von D's "LA Ink" and I wonder where she'd put a tattoo in 20 years.

I always talk about it but I'll probably never get one. I'm too much of a chicken!
Lydia said…
I thought of you today while I was at the grocery store on the beverage aisle. I had to chuckle when I passed the "stay wide awake for hours" shelf.
Anonymous said…
I am prepared to see Damon Wayans AND D.L. Hugley simultaneously evicted from society. Or hit by a truck as they cross 34th Street in Manhattan together while talking about how much they hate black women. As a duo they are both worse than Imus.

As for Jay-Z, I'm going to keep my mouth shut. But I will say that we rep the same 'hood - Bed-Stuy played a significant role in me becoming the man I am today.
Liz Dwyer said…
Haha! I saw that you can buy them in like a six pack. I can't even imagine. I think I'm still feeling the physical effects of just one!

I like that truck idea. I really like that one.

As far as Shawn Carter, have you seen the Roc Boys video? See it and even you will yawn, regardless of whether y'all both rep Bed-Stuy! LOL!
Tafari said…
really feeling your POV on Jay Z. I had friends stop listening to him once big pimpin came out (maybe the same album as Jigga...).

Beyounce without hairweaves for 3 months would devastate the Korean weave market. They have big lobbying power with both parties of congress so good luck with that piece. LOL

Tafari said…
wait, on the energy drink; i had a can of monster at a party last week & I was tripping for at least 3 hours in combination to all of the vodka & tonic I was drinking. I think the energy drink mos def sent me over the edge. as a matter of fact, I could still taste it the morning after (can you say nasty??????).

Liz Dwyer said…
I watched a documentary on YouTube about the hair weave madness. It makes me sick to think that the hair of children is used for weaves.

And I seriously can't even imagine mixing one of those energy drinks with alcohol. Do folks ever die from that combo?
Anonymous said…
I'm getting the same effect lol...

I drank the can of 710ML... it says right on it, that daily intake for an average adult is 500ML...

And we can't forget, I'm 5'6", 125lbs, 18 and drank the whole can to myself. Can't even sit still. xD

Been a while since you've done it, but I randomly stumbled into this lol

Popular Posts