America: Home of the Fatal Tummy Tuck

I just ate a clove of garlic and downed some NyQuil so this is going to have to be the most quickly written post in the history of this blog.

I took my temperature and it's 100.1. My body aches. I have a headache. My eyes are red... no photo of my jacked up state is gonna be posted. I'm not trying to "keep it real" to that sort of level.

In fact, I wouldn't even be posting except for Nablopomo. Yeah, I'm just competitive like that so I've dragged myself into an upright position and I'm sitting here typing. Ugh. I hate getting the flu.

But I have to just say that I feel so horrible for Kanye West. I was talking to my mom and sister earlier today about his mom's death and it's just awful. I'd be a wreck if that happened to my mom.

I keep thinking about how in pictures his mom wasn't even big. She looked just fine. She didn't look like she was in her teens or 20's. Nope, she looked like a distinguished black woman in her late 50's.

But nope, even educated, capable women are made to feel like they're nothing unless they have a flat stomach and some perky boobs. We're all responsible for that, not just that allegedly crooked surgeon she got caught up with.

I'll tell you, I've thought about getting a tummy tuck. And then I think about getting my badonkadonk up to run instead. If that doesn't get me the flat stomach, then guess what, I guess I'll just have to learn to live with control top panty hose, corsets, girdles... seriously, I would not want to die and leave my two kids and husband alone.

Plus, I've never had the $$ for plastic surgery so that's always squashed that idea.

And with that, I have to go keel over and wrap myself in a blanket. I hope I feel better manana and I hope you don't get sick too.


Anonymous said…
I hope you're feeling better real soon. I too taught about having a tummy tuck, but I'm a scary whimp. I just got my Billy Blank's Ab Boot Camp in the mail today.
Anonymous said…
I didn't realise you were sick too! Feel better!
Sadly the cosmetic surgery complications leading to death happen here in Ireland too. I guess there are too many vain people and too many doctors willing to operate even when they shouldn't. Me - 10 months post c-section I haven't done a single crunch, not that I don't think about it once in a while.
Nerd Girl said…
The whole Dr. West situation is just sad - I cannot, I will not imagine getting that phone call.

I certainly am not "blaming" her, but I just cannot imagine going under the knife for any sort of elective procedure. Ever. I've thought about Lasik, but in my heart, I know it's not happening.
As for the bod - I went back to the gym full strength this week - spin class yesterday just about did me in.

Feel better soon!
Mes Deux Cents said…

Take care of yourself, and I hope you are feeling better very soon.
hope you feel soon.

re: Dr. West, I really feel for her son (an only child who was very close to his mom). I agree people take this type of serious surgery too lightly. One dr. told her he would not do it until she got a clean bill of health from an internist. She did not go back to him.

I have a problem with shows like Dr. 90210. At least on Nip/Tuck which is fiction, they show the good and the bad when it comes to elective surgery.
Ian Lidster said…
All is vanity, and nothing is fair.

You are absolutely lovely just the way you are, so don't tamper.

And may your flu pass quickly.
Jameil said…
get better. it mostly gets me all confused when people chop their faces. that stuff is scary. i've seen lipos on tv and have no desire to inflict that sort of pain on myself. i don't know what tummy tucks look like but all these surgery reality shows help me know that i'm not the one for that stuff.
Liz Dwyer said…
I feel like I need my mommy, but thanks for the good wishes! And Billy Blanks is the man. I'll bet his ab boot camp is tough -- and a much safer alternative to a tummy tuck. Let me know how you end up liking the workout.

I was fairly alright until around 1:00 yesterday afternoon. I thought I just felt weird because it was unseasonably hot here yesterday and then all of the sudden, it just hit me really quickly. And I love how you are just letting your body relax after having your cutie. I think I was much more like that with my first son than my second. But 4 years later, I still have tummy flab. I'll work it off one of these days though.

Nerd Girl,
I feel the same way you do about Lasik. I think I'd be that one patient that comes out of there totally blind.

I've never had surgery of any kind other than getting my wisdom teeth removed so I think I sort of fantisize about the tummy tuck. But the gym is really the place for me to get it together. I've never tried spinning. Maybe I will once I don't feel like a corpse.

Thanks. I wish I could have just been at home in bed all day with someone to take care of me. I'll have to eat some more garlic later and get some dandelion tea. I do not want my kids to get sick!

I read about that today on TMZ. IF that's true, so sad that she didn't go see that internist.

I don't like Dr. 90210 either. They make it seem so easy, so painless on the show. Poor Kanye. I hope he gets that "Dr." Jan Adams' license taken away, or more.

Thanks for saying I'm lovely as I am. I know I sure don't feel like it today. I feel like a... heck, I don't know what I feel like. I just feel bad!

The only kind of other "work" I've considered is microdermabrasion -- and I don't if that even really counts as plastic surgery. I have two chicken pox scars on my forehead. They've always sort of bugged me and I wouldn't mind if they went away.

I have seen the tummy tuck and lipo on one of those shows and it's absolutely disgusting. I could barely handle the grossness of childbirth so I'm not sure if I could deal with having fluids draining out of me post-op. Ugh.
Jen said…
Way too scary - the whole thing. And I'm with Fashionista - Billy Blank over the knife any day.
Liz Dwyer said…
It is scary, isn't it? I read a story in Essence a few years ago about a guy who was in the waiting room and they came out and told him his wife had died trying to get some liposuction. I think they had 3 small kids. It was just so sad and he'd actually been against the surgery because he thought she looked fine. Definitely not worth the risk.
Tafari said…
Very clever title. I must admit that it made me laugh.


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