Hard To Deal With Disappointment

It's been three days since the Oscar's but I'm still trying to process Three-6-Mafia actually winning for Best Song. Since then, I've been trying not to think about them gnashing their diamond-encrusted grillz on the red carpet during the pre-show. Of course, they lined up in a row, opened their mouths and shined their teefers for the camera.

Great. 1 billion people around the world inhaling that image of Black folks. Great. My fourth-grade nephew that puts foil in his mouth to make a grill for himself is probably psyched...

I don't think there's someone Black living next door to the average Japanese family to put Three-6 Mafia into perspective. Do people around the world understand that all African-Americans are not the same? Hmm...

While you contemplate that question, how about this one: Is there someone Black living next door to the average American, so that Mr. and Mrs. Red State (or Blue State) can put Three-6-Mafia into perspective? If they do live next door to each other, do they have each other over for dinner? Do watch each other's kids?

But I digress. You see, I am trying not to think about the wack performance of "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp", featuring the worst modern dance interpretation ever. The 666 Mafia boys bobbed around on stage using typical rap-song-performance gesturing, and lo and behold, these modern dancers start gyrating and twirling around. I guess the men were supposed to be the pimps since they had on Hustle and Flow's main character Djay's ubiquitous pimp "wife-beater" shirt. The women...well, they looked like they had gotten dressed after watching "I Love the '80s". Imagine purple hot pants with black capri leggings and a yellow bra top. Oh, and they had Bananarama's hair, circa the "Cruel Summer" video. When's the last time you saw some ho's on the corner dressed like that? I tell you, come over to Figueroa and 111th St. and see if they look like the Oscar's version. (I'll tell you a secret: They don't!)

Queen Latifah announced Three-6-Mafia had won with such enthusiasm that you might have thought she'd just read that Jesus was in the audience. These guys come bouncing out on stage, full of excitement. Cooning, it used to be called.

One of the things I LOVE about Dave Chappelle is that he knows the difference between what he calls "job interview" voice and "The Street" voice. My Carver Elementary principal, Mrs. Woods, often told the kids this as well. "Boys and girls, there is a difference between the kind of language you speak on the playground and the kind of language you need to speak in the classroom." And that was all okay.

I was pretty curious what they would say in their acceptance speech. I was PRAYING that Three-6-Mafia would get out there and bust out their best proper English, showing the world that they are articulate Black men, not just the stereotype the world sees. My prayers were not answered.

They talked all at once. unowha'msayin? The grillz made it sound like they had speech impediments. Let me get real bourgeois on you and say that they sounded like they've never had any education...which could be true given the state of our nation's education system.

Please don't think I'm only picking on Three-6-Mafia. I could go on for days about how Reese Witherspoon's speech was stupid. I get tired of that, "I'm just a little girl from Tennessee" crap. Yeah, right, you rich, blond, mansion-living heffa. I don't think she's been that little girl for a long, long time.

Reese's speech about just trying to matter might have been annoying but at least I could make out what she was saying.

And, I didn't throw things at the tv after she walked off stage...


Popular Posts