Till Death Do Us Part

Tomorrow is my sixth wedding anniversary. Six years feels like such a short amount of time. Because I’ve been contemplating my own marriage quite a bit over the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed there’s been a great deal of activity in the celebrity world regarding marriage. Or, what passes for marriage these days. I’m not going to bemoan the divorce rate here but it IS curious how confused our culture is about marriage. I will not pretend to be a marriage expert or anything like that. Here are a just a few observations:

Kate Hudson states she doesn’t think monogamy is realistic. AND she doesn’t want to know if her husband cheats. Talk about low expectations. As long as he isn’t caught, it’s all good. Now, in some ways, that sounds like a woman who already knows that her husband is cheating and just doesn’t want the bad publicity that might come with a very public outing of his infidelity. It sounded to me like she was trying to send her husband a message: I know but I could care less as long as there’s no bad press to affect my film career.

Eddie Murphy and his wife are divorcing. Really, if she’s lasted through Eddie hooking up with a transvestite hooker, what kind of irreconcilable differences can there be? It’s not like she can be mad because he’s leaving his shoes and underwear all over the floor instead of putting them in the dirty clothes because we know they have maids. By the way, you ever notice how nowadays, people don’t want to call their help servants. They call them “cleaning ladies” or “housekeepers”. Just be real, you have servants.

Brooke Burke divorcing her husband. I’ve read a couple of other blogs that are saying it’s because when you hear his name, you don’t know who the heck he is and she needs someone who’s just as hot as she is. Oh, I guess I forgot that the purpose of marriage is to further ones career and social standing so it’s necessary to be married to someone everyone has heard of!

Jennifer Aniston Breaks Her Silence. (Is she promoting a film sometime soon?) Brad Pitt is missing a sensitivity chip? Now, she was married to him for a few years and she never noticed that he was missing this “chip?” I guess he’s only insensitive now that he’s no longer with her. And what exactly is this sensitivity chip? Oh, it must be the chip that allows folks to stay married despite various television and film shooting schedules. Yes, this must be the chip that says, kiss and be intimate with some other hot actress (but it’s all just pretend) and those feelings stirred up by the physical contact end completely when the director yells, “cut .” After shooting for the day, I guess Brad should have had the discipline to go back to his trailer and call Jen up and tell her he loves her and of course misses her…all without thinking about Angelina, the woman he’d been kissing and touching all day.

I know, I’m making excuses for Brad, and also assuming he cheated, I know, I know! He should have respected the sanctity of his marriage. I’ll be real: I find Jen Aniston to be annoying, and found the whole Rachel haircut thing annoying, her Zone Diet bull and the whole Friends TV show with their set-in-a-fantasy-NYC-with-2-people-of-color annoying…which makes me less empathetic to her.

Jessica and Nick: Everything’s Great! We are so in love! We are hunting for a new house! Oh come on and just be real and admit that you have challenges being married just like everyone else. We know Nick has to be pissed that his wife’s behind is all over the internet and tv. If he’s not, it’s only because he’s ruled by a materialistic nature that is only seeing dollar signs where everyone else is seeing butt cheeks. He should just say, “I think it’s great men across this country are masturbating to my wife’s video and our marriage is fabulous because we are so rich that I don’t care!” I think folks could respect that a bit more than the act we see i the media. YOU KNOW when they have fights that Jess throws her career success in Nick’s face. “That’s why you are a boy band has been and I’m the hottest ass on launch.com .” He probably replies, “Well, at least my dad doesn’t act like some sicko child-molester pimp."

Like I said, I'm just observing and commenting. I suppose I should go out and buy a "Happy Anniversary" card for Elarryo now.


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