Hip-Pop Part Deux: The Identity Crisis

Our Poster Boy for rap excess and lowest-common-denominator mediocrity is having another identity crisis. He must feel like Paris Hilton is getting her name in the papers too much and since he is hosting the MTV awards in a week, he should be front page, not a pesky little war in Iraq. (oh, wait, that's not front page news either).

  • Puffy: Our hero goes from being a backup dancer in random rap videos to setting up the Bad Boy Entertainment shop with the Notorious B.I.G., Mary J. Blige, Faith Evans, Junior Mafia, 112.

  • Puff Daddy: Circa late 1990's, saying, "Yeah, C'mon. Bad Boy you don't stop." with Mase casting an admiring eye on his moves with the soon to be J. Ho ...oops, sorry about that typo there.

  • P. Diddy: Once you have made it, you too will be on MTV's Making the Band II getting a manicure and pedicure while making some desparate wannabees walk the mean streets of NYC in seach of cheesecake.

  • Diddy: I don't think I can say hip-hop impresario with a straight face but he's still saying, "Yeah, C'mon. Bad Boy you don't stop" even though all his folks have pretty much stopped making hits or have managed to escape from the label."

  • Sean Combs: Our hero tried to become and actor and even played Halle's husband in Monster's Ball. Unfortunately, he didn't get the sex scene that Billy Bob did. And, he didn't get the Oscar. Wait, has he been in anything other than Monster's Ball?

  • Sean John: "My overpriced preppy clothes are better than yours Tommy Hilfiger!"

  • Did: Our hero is already beginning to get up on his soap-box talking about all the amazing things he's done for the rap game. The future is now.

  • D: Alzheimer's will take over and all he'll be able to say is one letter, "D", unless he's really feeling spry. Then we'll here a voice STILL croaking in the back of someone's record, "Yeah, C'mon. Bad Boy you don't stop."


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