Blame Wiz Khalifa: Five Things I Learned on Halloween

Last weekend I asked my parents what they did on Halloween when they were kids. My mom started telling me about the cool popcorn balls and cash that adults in her neighborhood gave the kids. They could do that because they only went trick-or-treating on their block.

"So, what did you do when you were a teenager?" I asked. "Did you still go trick-or-treating?"

"Oh no," my mom replied. "When you were in high school, you didn't involve yourself in kids stuff. That's for children. Not like it is now."

I thought about that as I went door-to-door with my sons. Indeed, here are five lessons I learned on Halloween.

1. Adults need to give up the trick-or-treating: If you're a grown man dressed as a zombie, you're going house to house trick-or-treating, and you have zero kids accompanying you, guess what? You look like a crazy pedophile. Or a serial killer. 

1A. Adults need to give up the trick-or-treating: If you're a woman carrying an infant that's not even dressed in a costume, you are NOT trick-or-treating for your baby. Your child can't even EAT chocolate or candy because she has no teeth. 

2. Sexy bumblebee is the new sexy nurse: I blame Wiz Khalifa with his dang "Black and Yellow" song because I saw at least four sexy bumblebees, tricked out in in black and yellow tops and booty shorts. One wore fishnets under the shorts and walk her kids door-to-door. Of course, she started complaining that her feet hurt and ended up walking around barefoot.

3. Not every Anakin goes to the dark side: Especially not when it's this cutie. Dear God, please don't let him grow up and start dressing in a sexy bumblebee costume, or trick-or-treating when he's pushing 40.

4. It is possible to OD on candy: I worked from home today with my youngest, Mr. T, after he woke up this morning moaning and writhing in his bed. Poor baby ate waaay too much candy last night. But, I still don't think he'll ever top the year that he ate so much candy that he got an intestinal blockage. For real. Yes, I am that horrible mom that told him, "Sure, eat as much as you want."

5. Mr. O needs to play Jack Skellington in a stage production: Yes, Jack Skellington set up shop in someone's front yard for like 5 minutes. Once people started snapping photo of him, he was thrilled.  He didn't even budge when a serial killer came along. Good grief, do I have a Hollywood kid or what?

Fortunately, now that it's November, we no longer  have to see stories with titles like "5 Reasons You Shouldn't Wear a Risque Halloween Costume to Work" floating around the web. Now it'll be all "5 Way to Make Your Turkey Tastier Than Your Mother-in-Law's Turkey" and "Three Tips for Surviving Your Crazy Family Thanksgiving."

I'd rather read pumpkin carving tips, so can Halloween come back?


nick said…
We got some chocolate bars in for trick or treating kids, but not a soul rang the doorbell. Either Halloween is becoming a strictly family affair, or the kids are visiting households that have already invited them round. So now we have a heap of chocolate we have to get through. I don't think the task will be too gruelling though.

I like Mr Skellington. So calm in the face of impending doom.
Annette said…
Re: Intestuinal blockage - so, did prunes work or did you have to get more drastic? (been there done that, the kids don't do it again, usually).

Great pics. I let my daughter go with some friends to a different 'hood to trick-or-treat. My complex was a bunch of humbugs, we only got one family - our next door neighbors, so my daughter got an extra 2lbs of candy when she got home. Hoping it will be gone before T-Day.

Speaking of which, you have inspired me to start posting left-over turkey recipes.
Liz Dwyer said…
He told me he couldn't break character just because of a meat cleaver!

Have fun eating all that chocolate. ;)

We had to give him industrial strength stool softener. Wow, you have extra candy, too. What's with folks not taking their kids out? Hmm...
Anne said…
I hope you had a great Halloween!

I was wondering if you’d be interested in sharing your articles with other like-minded parent bloggers? If yes, please email me at with Parents in the subject line.


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