Because it's ALWAYS a Good Idea to Proposition a Woman Buying Cold Meds

I just made a run to the store to buy some cold medicine because I feel like I'm going to die. I also bought some mandarin oranges--they were on sale, mmkay?

So, I'm standing in the only checkout line that's open at 11 at night--it's long as I don't know what--and the guy behind me is all, "Looks like you're ready to party with those mandarin oranges."

"No not really," I replied, pointing to my box of DayQuil/NyQuil on the conveyer belt.

"Cold medicine," he said, and I nodded yes. "Well, I have chicken and beer." He lifted his arms slightly, and showed me the six-pack of beer he held in one hand, and the rotisserie chicken from the deli he had in the other.

"Wow, you're, er, ready, aren't you?" I joked. The cashier began ringing up my purchases and as I said hi to her and asked her how her day was going, he says to me, "I don't mind sharing. Wanna come over and enjoy it with me?"

My dumb behind actually said, "Oh, I don't eat chicken. I'm a vegetarian."

"Well we could just relax. I'm sure I could HELP YOU FEEL BETTER." Said with full male sexyface, smouldering gaze...whatever you want to call it.

For a second there I thought I'd already taken the NyQuil and started hallucinating. Um, what? Help me feel better? That's what the dang medicine is for.

Fortunately, the cashier says to me, "So where are your kids? Home asleep?"

"Oh you have kids," I heard him say as I paid for my mandarin oranges and medicine. "I have kids, too."


I heard the cashier tell  him as I walked away, "She's married."

I laughed all the way home, but now I'm wondering  what kind of guy is trying to get a girl buying cold medicine to come over?

Dear Men: If you try to get a woman buying cold medicine to come over, she will think you have no game. The end. Off to take my NyQuil.


nick said…
Some men are so sex-addled, they'll hit on any woman anywhere, whether she's ill, disabled, bald, you name it. It must be unbelievably tedious to the women on the receiving end. And the last thing you need when you're feeling sick as a dog. Someone should put him back in his chastity belt.
Aisha said…
For some reason I picture this as a white man. It also makes me think of Monster's Ball-"Make me feel good!" Lol. He was probably referencing that. Or maybe not.
adoptive mom said…
This reminds me of the time I was busy wiping my baby's snotty nose at the mall and a guy working at a stand asked if I wanted him to be my baby's daddy. I told him that my baby already had a daddy and that I am married...hubby asked that next time I mention that my baby's daddy and hubby is in fact a real life Dr. McDreamy- lol!

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