There Must Be No Black Militants On THAT Side Of The Family

My sister gave me the breakdown on the upcoming Thanksgiving menu she's going to "enjoy" at her mother-in-law's house next week: chitlins and coon.

I won't even talk about the chitlins or, if you are trying to be proper, "chitterlings". I've never eaten them but I've been in a house where they were being cooked. I've watched the poop being cleaned out of them. I've heard someone say, "I think I got it all out." Eww...

We've all at some point read or heard someone talk about how Black folks have internalized racial oppression to the point that we eat pig guts and have brainwashed ourselves to believe it's some delicious delicacy.

Oh, wait, that's an assumption on my part about you, the reader of this posting. Let me clarify: If you haven't been a part of that dialogue, my guess is that you aren't Black and/or you do not associate with Black people beyond reminiscing around the water cooler about the good ole days of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin. If you fall into the latter category, google "chitlins internalized racism" and you'll get some food for thought.

If you don't feel like doing a search, check back here in a few days and maybe I'll post my thoughts about chitlins. While I'm at it, to bring you up to speed, I might also share my opinions on the n-word, the l-word (Sheryl Swoopes' favorite), good hair, light-skin, dark-skin, hair weaves and Vibe Magazine airbrushing Mary J. Blige's scar off of her face. But I digress...

Let's talk about the coon.

Yes, that's coon, as in "raccoon, " the furry rat type animal known for digging in your trash and carrying rabies. Coon as in some parts of the country, I'd be referred to as a coon. Or, take a look at my husband and call me a coon-lover.

First, what does the coon look like? Does it come looking like a turkey with the head and tail cut off? Is it skinned or do you have de-fur it yourself?

Second, how exactly do you cook the coon? Do you stuff it? If you put an apple and a pear inside, will the flavor of the meat be enhanced? When it's all done will the chef comment, "Don't tastes just like chicken."

Does cooking it kill the rabies? Does it smell as bad as chitlins do? If it does, is everyone planning on leaving the house while the cooking is happening?

If you have been a coon eater in the past, please feel free to post your responses to the questions above. I really want to know!


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