A Tale of Poisoning

Food poisoning, stomach flu, 24 hour bug...

Whatever you want to call it, my life has come to a grinding halt over the past two days because of it.

My sister thinks I was poisoned by the Starbucks non-fat extra hot chai I drank around 10 am Monday morning.

It could be. Maybe the Starbucks employee didn't wash his hands or maybe those metal cups they heat the milk in needed some more cleaning -- they certainly always look like they need cleaning.

However it happened, by early afternoon, I was feeling decidedly nauseous. I even chewed peppermint gum through two hours of early evening kid basketball games to keep things from returning to the surface.

Gum and all sorts of home remedies were no match for whatever it was that eventually caught up with me. Before I knew it, I was BFF's with the porcelain throne.

I'm glad I had just mopped and thoroughly cleaned in the bathroom because along with hanging my head in the toilet, I also spent generous amounts of time on the floor next to it, and with two sons and a husband that blames it on his two sons that are almost always missing the target... you get where I'm going with this, right? I hope so because I would really love to spare you (and me) the rest of the bacteria-infested details.

As for the rest of my time under the weather, I have hazy recollections of my sons looking at me with a mixture of concern and fear before they went to school yesterday morning. I think my youngest asked, "Are you gonna die?"

I am, thankfully, not dead.

Just think, if I die, my kids would surely end up with a wicked stepmother named Shanaenae... and what would happen to this blog?

Would my ghost be able to log in to Blogger and post, "This is Los Angelista, coming to you from beyond the grave! I just eavesdropped on Tupac chatting with Gianni Versace and Marie Antoinette!"

As interesting as that conversation might be, let's hope things don't come to that anytime soon. And let's hope that whatever it is that made me sick, doesn't get you, too.

Comments

Anonymous said…
((hug)) There is something wicked going around. I hope you heal very very soon!
Anonymous said…
Glad you're feeling better. Apparently whatever it was didn't impact your sense of humour - that seems to be intact!
Ian Lidster said…
Poor baby. I was going to say how crappy, and then thought that might not be appropriate. You are teh second blogger I've visited today suffering from the same condition and with similar severity. May you be better soon.
Jameil said…
might be peanut butter! lol @ "Are you gonna die?" so funny and kid cute.
Feel better Liz. I ate a taco on Sunday and immediately felt sick afterwards. I wonder if the servers hands were dirty who'd prepared my food.
Anonymous said…
I hate to hear that. Hope you are on the mend very soon.
Anonymous said…
Los Angelista,
You wrote:
“I just eavesdropped on Tupac chatting with Gianni Versace and Marie Antoinette!"
What makes you think you’re going to HELL?
LOL!

P.S. Emasculate them; make ‘em sit down! LOL!!!
sippinwineman said…
Why does the last sentence of this post need some music and evil laughter?

Get better soon.

I hating on EVERYONE who lives in warmer climates. Except you. You're sick. You've got a sympathy card
Jennifer said…
Hope you're feeling better soon!
April said…
Sorry to hear it. Hope you feel better very very soon. And PLEASE tell me it wasn't the Starbucks!
Liz Dwyer said…
Claudia,
It seems that there definitely is something going around and it's causing all sorts of weird gastrointestinal problems. I wonder if it's all tied back to the peanut butter?

Pooneh,
Now that I'm actually feeling better I can laugh about it all. I was an absolute wreck physically though. It was especially anxiety causing because I actually had a super severe case of food poisoning when I was 12 and had to be hospitalized.

Ian,
I feel sorry for that other blogger because being unable to keep down even water is a horrible feeling. And then my stomach felt like my stomach was a rag being fiercely wrung out.

Jameil,
Yeah, those kids are going through a stage right now where they think I'm going to die every five seconds. I keep wondering about the peanut butter, but I can't imagine what I'm eating other than... the jar of peanut butter! But I haven't had any in a few days so I don't know if that's it AND those boys are peanut butter freaks and they have no symptoms, thank goodness.

Faith,
I always get grossed out by how many places don't have soap in the bathrooms, if people even want to bother to wash their hands. Just nasty! I hope you feel better soon.

Citizen,
Thanks so much for the good wishes. At the very least, being so sick makes me sleep a whole lot so that helps.

Daniel,
Hopefully my soul will just be walking by them on the way to someplace else! :)

Sippinwineman,
It kinda does need that music, doesn't it? Hehehe! I wish it was cooler here, I really do. I love LA in the winter and we really need the rain out here. I was just reading about how we grow all the lettuce this country eats out and prices are going to be higher because farmers are abandoning their fields due to drought in the Central Valley. :(
Liz Dwyer said…
Jennifer,
Me too! Thanks so much for the good wishes.

April,
Thanks for the well wishes. That Starbucks is pretty much the ONLY thing I've had that everybody else hasn't had. Well, that and the soymilk in the fridge, but I had some of that on Friday and Saturday and I was fine.
Ingrid said…
ummm...i'm glad you're not "dead". i hope you're back to 100% really soon.
Anonymous said…
Sounds a bit like the food poisoning I had on the plane to Oz in December. Me and another passenger who had the same symptoms traced it to egg sandwiches we both bought at Costa Coffee at Heathrow. Coffee shops, eh, perhaps there needs to be a hygiene swoop? Glad you're feeling better.
Oh I hope that you are feeling better! And there is something wicked working its way around...hopefully no one else in your family gets it too!
Anonymous said…
Why is the evil stepmother named Shannaene? You know your wrong! LOL
DJ Black Adam said…
I pray you feel well soon....does your husband know you have consigned him to "Shanenae" if you depart? lol
Shiona said…
I'm glad you are feeling better. I hate anything having to do with nausea. I remember coming down with something Thanskgiving of last year. Ugh! Not a good feeling.
Anonymous said…
Hahaha, that was too funny; a really fun read.

Hope you feel better soon.

Broadya
Unknown said…
If it wasnt the chai, it could have been any door handle!

You are so hilarious even in distress!

Feel better soon ~ We NEED you!!
Mes Deux Cents said…
I hope you're feeling better by now Liz.

***HUGZ***
allison sara said…
Thanks so much for your humor, even in the middle of all of it!
Liz Dwyer said…
Ingrid,
I think I'm at 77% today! :)

Nick,
Being this ill on a plane has to be horrible. I can't even imagine.

Carolyn,
I was completely oblivious to whatever this nasty bug is but now I'm just happy my children aren't ill. Knock on wood!

Cyndee,
That would be his type, I'm sure.

DJBA,
Yes, as much as he might claim that wouldn't be his type... I know better.

Shiona,
Being sick around holidays is never any fun but to get sick around Thanksgiving when there's so many tasty things to eat really is a bummer.

Broadya,
I had a good time writing that. I needed SOMETHING to make me feel better!

House,
Now I know why folks used to wear gloves all the time back in the day. So many gross germs on door handles. yuck.

Mes,
Thank you for the hug. I hope I am better soon too. It's such a gorgeous day and I'm trapped inside. :(

Allison,
I have to laugh about it. Otherwise, it's all waaay too miserable.

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